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Dad died 3 months ago this Saturday, and it still doesn't seem real.


mylittlesparrow

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mylittlesparrow

My father died 3 months ago this Saturday.  I feel like within the last month, grief has really hit me hard upside the head. I cried so much when it first happened, but I sobered up quickly and kept on going with my life, and now I miss him SO MUCH.  I don't sleep well anymore, I am constantly stress eating, I miss him so much I just think about him CONSTANTLY. I thought time was supposed to make things better, it just makes everything feel worse. The shock has worn off, and I am feeling it full on.  Anyone have any advice for how to grieve in a more healthy way? I am a college student and I cannot slack off this semester, I need to buckle down, but I don't want to do anything because of my grief.

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Hi mylittlesparrow, i am very sorry you lost your dad.I'm not sure i can offer any advice but i understand how hard it is. I lost my mum to cancer 14 july 2015 so very recent. I find it so hard to sleep too , my head is filled with thoughts of my mum and all she suffered. I,m very much alone in this world , i only have a brother 3 years older than me. My dad walked out when i was 9 months old so there is no family now. I am not married no kids no partner just myself and my bro. It's hard to focus on anything when all you feel is such a deep loss and sadness like nothing before. Do you have family you can talk to or friends ? . Everyone says it just takes time and i guess we all grieve  our own way. some cope better than others while some of us feel like we are drowning. It's the worst feeling in the world but take one day at a time. Just know you aren't alone and i hope you find the strength to get through this.

 

kind regards

Lisak

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Hugs littlesparrow and Lisa.  So sorry for your losses.  I believe that time does help the healing of our losses but it is a process and takes awhile.  It's been a year since losing my parents and I still feel the sadness but it no longer feels crippling.  

One of the things that helped me was to think of what they would want for me now that they were gone.  I know they always wanted the best for me and to carry on and live in the best way that I can.  My parents have always wanted good things of my sister, brother and I.  They always wanted us to be happy, be successful in whatever we were doing, and be good to others.  I also know what they wouldn't want for us.  They wouldn't want us to be overcome with grief and live our lives in sadness.  So in memory and honour of my parents, even through the tears I try to be the best person that I can in all areas ... at work, with friends, strangers and family.  I also believe that one day we will be reunited with those who have gone before us if we live a good life, and that gives me something to look forward to.

 

I hope this helps

take care

Cindy Jane

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Mylittlesparrow. I can relate to you my mom passed away 6months ago and it still feels like yesterday. All I have been told was everyday it will hurt. Eventually the hurt you feel will lessen with time. And that hurt will be the new normal. As for college classes. I personally remind myself how proud my mom was/is of me and how well I did. Talk to a grief counselour< 3 and if you need anything talk to me also. It helps not feeling alone.

Best of luck with your studies.

Terry

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