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How to cope with losing my brother


Pdx

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I lost my brother two months ago. They said it was natural causes but he was only 39 and they gave no other explanation. I didn't even know you could miss someone this much. He wanted to have breakfast the day he died and I said I was too busy, I feel so much regret.

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Guilt, anger, regret...and so much more is going to happen, it always does when you're mourning the loss of a loved one.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, I lost mine 15 months ago at 18.

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Mydeepestthoughts2

This message is to convey my deepest sympathy for you, and your family at this time of great grief. The lost of a family member, is a traumatic event, that shakes us to the core. I am participating in a volunteer work, and reaching out to loved ones who are suffering thru this lost, and providing an upbuilding bible message of hope.

A scripture that brings comfort, is found at Rev 21:3,4 which reads " The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. 4: And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." Since death is all around us today, so we can appreciate that this is a future hope, and promise. But can this really take place? Is it really possible, that in the future your brother, and many others will be brought back to life?? Is this a mere fantasy?

Note what verse 5 reads "Also he says: “Write, for these words are faithful* and true."

If you would like to hear more good news about the future, please inquire of Jehovah's Witnesses the next time they visit, or visit our website www.jw.org where you will find many more encouraging bible truths, that can ease your pain, and grief and provide a solid hope for the future.

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/dead-live-again-tract/dead-live-again/

My condolences.

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PDX, 

 

How are you doing? I lost my only brother in November 2014 (coming up on his one year anniversary) at the age of 23. I also had regrets that I could have done things to prevent his death. I was supposed to call him the morning he passed, but called my dad instead. I will always regret that moment. We will have to live with these forever. The only good thing is, there are other things to think back on like the good memories you shared. That's what keeps me going. Obviously, I have waves of emotions that come in the form of sadness, anger, regret, selfishness, depression, anxiety. But what I've found is that trying to separate those emotions are not only the hardest thing to do, but are eventually necessary in order to continue in life. Otherwise, they could build up and leave nothing but a pot boiling over uncontrollably. When I was younger, I hated diaries because I thought to myself -- who the hell am I writing to -- but very recently (this week) I started typing a word doc diary to my brother. When I feel like talking to him I type up what I would say to him. It takes a little weight off the shoulders, but I won't say it gets rid of the pain. It never will. We will always have to live with it. It's what we do with our experience that will help us keep living life. There probably won't be a day that goes by that you won't think of him. I've been thinking of him every second of every day for the past year. I feel like that will never change. There was a point where I would catch myself being happy for a quick moment (randomly) (about 6 months in) and then I would remember. Then the emotions would come over me all over again and I would ask myself how can I be happy if he's not here? Slowly, I'm having more moments of laughter. The first time I really felt a lot of relief was a theme park, to be honest. My boyfriend and I went to six flags and rode every thrilling ride we could. I laughed harder than I had in months! If that's your thing, I highly suggest it. Anything that has to do with adrenaline. It really pumps you up. I also had mixed feelings too because my brother and I rode a lot of those rides together when we were young. So things will always remind us of them, but the important part is to laugh and live life (even with the waves of emotion that are going to continue to come throughout life) as much as possible because our siblings would want to see us enjoying ourselves. Thank you for sharing your story. This is my first day sharing on this site (or any site for that matter) and I'm finding it helpful knowing I'm not alone. Without a support system here in California (moved here 8 years ago for school and saw my brother just a few times a year since), it's been very hard to find an outlet. I hope this online Grieving Community will be helpful for all of us. I'm here for you if you want to talk more about your brother. 

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