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I have lost my oldest friend, I knew her all my life!!


MiniPony101

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MiniPony101

I am 15 and I had never lost anyone ever before except for my pets which was hard for me seeing I become very emotional when it comes to death. I never thought it would happen to me but about 2 months ago my oldest friend, Emily died. I had known her since I was 6 months old and known her ever since. She died in a freak accident but every time I think about her I cry. One of my teachers helped me by making a memory jar with me with different coloured sand reminding me of different memories. I also have a big problem with my anger and since Emily died I have found it harder to control it. I don't talk to anyone about Emily apart from my best friend. One of my teachers at school is trying to get me a social worker seeing as I need support for other things besides Emily's death. I need some advice because I have never lost anyone before. I went to the funeral but I still can't try and give myself closure on it. Please help!

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Hello dear,

I am so so sorry for your loss, you are so young to experience such a tragic loss in your life.

However, you can still overcome it if you work on it because there is/will be a great load of anger and confusion to deal with.

Loss happens and it doesn't care who you are, what you do in life or how much you need that person in your life therefore you should be as strong as the pain is and that's the hard part.

Please, don't listen to the ugly unsensitive comments and stay focused on your grief, take the necessary time to mourn the loss of your friend

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I am very sorry for your loss.. yes, it is hard.  I have lost my best friend (of many years) last summer and my best friend who was like a Soulmate to me, just recently.  It's an up and down process... but believe it or not, you can 'use' it to get in touch with other feelings or things that, perhaps, need to surface.  Face what comes up, feel it, then let it go (on).. if you do this sitting in a comfortable chair.. and when you let it go.. imagine it floating above you .. up, up and out to the skies.   This can have a very healing effect.

Also, what helps me is to know that we really are not alone.. and that is, no matter how much we feel that way or how real it seems.. we are not alone.  Actually, there is Love surrounding us and at all times.. we are all, in fact, dearly loved... it's on a sort of spiritual level... but, my experience has been.. when we get in touch with this Truth.. even a glimpse of the underlying Love surrounding us... it then becomes a law to our human situation and changes it in a way where our human needs are met.   I'm not saying to not grieve. yes, we need to go through that and also (I strongly believe) that our loved ones are still present, just in a different form.  You can talk to your friend and if you get really quiet inside, you might even feel her presence.  There's lots of mysteries out there...  It's like someone said when on a boat in the ocean.. a loved one passing on is like watching a sea gull fly off into the distance.. pretty soon we don't see it.. but is he gone? No.. just out of the limits of our human eyesight.

Now, I do realize this doesn't always help when I miss my best friend who helped, supported and made me feel appreciated and loved... but take care... and keep an eye out.. because this presence that loves you more than you can imagine.. will show it in other and new ways.. just watch for it.. you will see.

Meanwhile I (also) grieve for my best friend who was like a Soulmate to me... but also I continue to love her and live my life because she does not want me to be unhappy, esp on her account.  So be up and about and know that you are not really or actually alone and that you are very loved.. still.. and including from you friend.

Julia

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