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2 Losses in 2 Years


sadsarah

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On the first day of my sophomore year of high school, when I was 15 years old, my father died. We lived alone together in a big house and we were home alone together when he died. I was the one who found his body. My elder sister of 2 years had a baby boy who was 6 months old at the time (Levi). A year later, he was killed in a tragic accident that to this day my sister still might be blamed for and will most likely go to prison for 10 years for “child neglect”. I live with my mother now, who I never really talked to before my dad's death. Me and my father were very close, and I was even closer to Levi. Levi was literally My Sunshine, and in a way his death has affected me worse than my father’s. My father's was to be expected eventually, but not my baby’s. I am now 17, 6 days away from turning 18. I still find myself in the same condition I was when they died. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for, pity or someone to tell me it's okay, or even someone to tell me it's not okay. I still don't know what to do or how to function like a normal human being. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks, Sarah

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Hi Sarah ... I am so sorry for your losses.  You've been through an awful lot and my heart goes out to you.  I am glad that you found your way to this site because it sure helps to read what others share here about their experiences and feelings.  It kind of makes me feel like my feelings are "normal" and I don't feel so alone in my sadness.  

 

My prayers go out to your sister because whatever the circumstances surrounding Levi's passing, your sister lost her child and I can't imagine what she is going through.  

 

For me the most comfort that I get is when I pray.  I come right out and ask God for comfort and He comes through for me.  As for advice, I would suggest to keep coming here and reading the posts and sharing about how you're feeling from day to day.  There are good people who come here who really do care.

 

take care

Cindy Jane

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