Everly

Loss of a parent - daily thread

2,228 posts in this topic

Everly, thanks so much for your words. I am so sorry about your mom. I think you're right about appreciating the relationships more.  I think I may be going crazy. Today was five weeks and yesterday I did not cry for the first time since he died. But today I felt so bad about that; almost guilty even. I had to tell him I have not forgotten him. Maybe talking out loud to him is not healthy. I guess I am lucky that at almost 50 years old, this is my first loss of a loved one. I am just having a little trouble navigating my way through the grief. Did a grief group help anyone?  I am not sure how a grief group would help me miss my dad less. Well enough rambling. Wishing everyone peace this week!  

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Hello EVERYONE ... 

missdad ... I don't think that anything will help us to miss our parent(s) less.  The love that we have for them is why we miss them so much, and unless we stop loving them we will always miss them.  For me, the thing was in how I was going to get through the sting & heaviness of these losses and it boiled down to this ... what would my parents want for me?  That was a no brainer!  They wanted me to live a good life and be happy.  I am constantly working on being the best person that I can be ... with the examples that they've shown me all of my life.  The being happy part took awhile but it does come in time.  For me, there were 2 things that helped me heal from my losses; TIME & TEARS.  I was never one to cry much ... I thought that was a sign of weakness but in the loss of both parents I have shed many tears and they really are healing.  Today I see tears as a sign of love, not weakness so if the tears start flowing, I go with that.  It is like those tears slowly wash away the pain.  Not sure if this makes any sense...just sharing my experiences with the hope that it helps others get through these difficult times.

God bless ... take care

Cindy Jane

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missdad... I would not worry, you are not going to forget him ;)  How could you <3  I think of my Mom every minute of every day, and I still cry often... all the time in fact.  I remember her voice, her mannerisms, everything... there isn't one thing I have forgotten.  I miss her so.  It's okay to not cry for one day... unfortunately we get used to living without them, and the pain may lessen on some days, but don't worry, it's never really that far away ;)  I have been to a grief group, and while I think it did help a little, I didn't care for people's responses back to me.  I don't really need a stranger to tell me how to feel... so I didn't go long.  I do see a grief therapist however, and she has helped me a great deal.  There was alot of turmoil with my mother's estate, and my therapist helped me immensely with the pain of that.  My sister, and my oldest brother no longer speak to me cause of the estate issues... but yet they stalk me on this forum (I have been told) and they read my posts... don't ask, it's crazy.  So I do still see my therapist, I love her.. she has been a tremendous help to me.  I don't think any group or any therapist would help you miss your Dad less, it would probably just help direct the emotions in a positive perhaps less stressful way.. at least that's what my therapist does.  I'm sorry that it has only been 5 weeks, that is such a short amount of time :(  It was 2.5 years on 4/13/17 for my Mom.. I cannot believe she has been done all this time :(  So do not worry, you will never forget him, ever <3

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