Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

I'm a wreck without Buddy, my special little boy...


LovingBuddy

Recommended Posts

  • Members
LovingBuddy

Two days ago, my Buddy ran out into the street in front of the house and I'm assuming he was hit by a vehicle. Buddy was so special to me....one of a kind....we played and gently wrestled together, he would reach up on his back legs and rest his front legs against me, wanting me to pick him up and be loved....he "kissed" me, by rubbing his nose and lips against mine.....he slept against my chest at night in the crook of my arm, or he laid in my lap when I was sitting.....he "talked" to me with different variations of "meow"....when I shaved or brushed my teeth, he'd sit on the toilet lid and watch and wait so that he could follow me when I was done....

I didn't hear that he was hit....I was in the house, but I "knew" or felt that I should go and look outside and I went immediately to the porch and looked, and there was my Buddy on his side in the street....I didn't even have shoes on, I ran outside screaming his name....and I knew this was one of those terrible moments in my life....I got to him and was scared to lift him, but I did, and cradled him in my arms....he was alive, and Buddy looked at me....and then he purred in my arms....I didn't know what to do...and I was crying his name....and then he was gone....devastation....how do you describe this kind of moment and the feeling....you can't....I screamed for a neighbor to take me to the emergency vet while I held Buddy, and when we got to the place, the called for the doctor, and it was confirmed what I already knew.....he is being cremated and I'll get him back soon....I cried and sobbed all night, yesterday I was a zombie and cried some more....I have no appetite, I don't want to get out of bed, I have a terrible headache, I'm in a bad state.....the house seems very empty without my kitty, who was 13 and I had gotten him when he was 4 days old as his mama abandoned him when he was little and I bottlefed him before he could even see....

I don't let Buddy out of the house often because he is precious and not very "yard smart" like his two sister cats, whom I had gotten when they were older.....both of the "girls" know not to go out into the street....Buddy gets a little stir crazy when his sisters are outside, and so I'll let him out for a little bit, keeping the door open so he can come back in when he's done....he would go around the side of the house and eat a little grass and then come back inside....he never even gets close to the street...and so I don't understand why this time he did....I have no explanation for it....

I miss my Buddy terribly....I feel like I let him down by allowing him outside, and it was late afternoon and I should not have done so....it's killing me that my Buddy is gone and won't be jumping onto the bed to lay near me anymore....or play with the little stuffed mouse that I throw up into the air and he would jump so high to get it.....or when I would open the sock drawer where I kept his healthy treats and he would come running expecting a treat or two.....I combed him often so that he wouldn't have hair balls....and just this week I washed under his chin, which I would do, because he gets this dirty stuff under his chin from drinking water and not being able to dry himself there.....

I am so lonely without him....he kept me company and he always lifted my spirits and he made me so happy just to take care of him and watch over him.....and he loved me so unconditionally......I miss him so much......the pain I feel is overwhelming me.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Justbreathe

I understand that horrible lonely pain- my pug, Gracie died on 5/20. My life hurts! There was never a moment that she wasn't touching me or in my arms.I just don't know how go on without her. She was "momma's girl". Everyone in the family has accepted her passing but me. I will pray for you to have peace tonight. I hope he sends you signs to help your grief.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello LovingBuddy,

Firstly, reading this absolutely broke my heart because near enough the EXACT same thing happened to me last week.

It sounds like Buddy had an amazing life with you, although the way he died was very unfair and not how you'd expect, 13 years of nothing but love and affection is an amazing experience for you both to reflect on.

I let my Charlie out for his last toilet trip of the evening on Monday 13th July, and within 2 minutes of him strolling out somebody knocked him over killing him instantly - then drove off leaving him in the rain. I am feeling exactly the way you described in this post.

I noticed you posted your story 2 months ago, and I am curious to know how you're feeling now? Does the grief lessen as time goes on? Right now I can't imagine the way I feel ever ending... I've lost cats in the past to old age but never so suddenly and unfairly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.