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I'm lost without my brother.


Specialk_ab2012

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Specialk_ab2012

I grew up in a family that wasn't rich in money, but rich in love. Don't get me wrong, none of us were hurting for anything, but we definitely didn't have the upper hand in life. Although my brother and I didn't always have the newest toys or the most popular clothes, my parents gave us one of the greatest gifts of all, the ability to love and be loved. Not a day went by that my family of 4, didn't exchange a million "I love you's." And not a single one of those were out of habit, but instead they were said because we meant it with all of our hearts. Our family is a close knit family, it's actually one of the closet that I know. And although I moved out at 18 (now 20) and moved an hour and a half away, I still visited home several times a week. My brother was my best friend, my enemy, my pain in the but, my right hand, my partner in crime, my twin, my annoying little brother, the half that makes me whole... He was everything to me. But on January 5, 2015, everything changed. I was working night shifts at the time and I was sitting in the parking lot of work when I got the call... I can still remember everything about that call. At 10:46pm, 16 weeks and 1 day ago, my mom called me and told me that my brother had been in a car accident and he "didn't make it." I was so shocked and upset and angry and confused. I couldn't believe the words that were coming through the phone, I didn't wanna believe them. My brother is my best friend, he makes our family whole, and the fact of losing my 17 year old brother and my only sibling, hurts beyond measure. I've joined this site and am writing this story, mainly to rant and let things out. I just don't know where to go from here. Everything that I thought I wanted in life, suddenly doesn't even matter. Everything in my future that was suppose to be the happiest days of my life, will now be followed with grief, because I won't have my best friend there with me enjoying the journey. I understand that he's watching over me and he's always "with me," but it's nowhere near the same as being able to touch, talk, and see him. The thought of living out the rest of my life without him, brings an indescribable ache to my chest. My brother was one of the most incredible people that I have ever met. He never left a room without making his presence known and he surely never left a frown upside down. He has the most infectious personality that I've ever came across and his outlook on life was truly amazing. My brother touched the lives of more people at the young age of 17, than some ever will in an entire life time. And as amazing as he was, his life was still cut short. Reports indicate that there were no drugs in his system, no alcohol, not texting and driving, not talking on the phone, no swerve marks, no break marks... Nothing. Nothing to indicate that a happy go lucky, popular high school football player, son, brother, friend, boyfriend... deserved this alternative. To me, his death with never be justified. Situations like these don't happen to people you know, and they damn sure don't happen to YOUR family. Situations like these are stories that you hear from a second hand source or stories that run across the news channel that make you thank God for your family and everything that you have. This wasn't suppose to happen to MY family, not to me, not to my brother... Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be 20 years old and be forced to live out my forever without my little brother. I'm a firm believer that every loss is different. I know that there are others that may be experiencing a similar pain as I, but no one will ever truly understand my pain. No one could ever fully know my heartache, unless they could walk a mile in my shoes... And quite frankly that's impossible. You will never walk a mile in my shoes and I will never be able to walk a mile in yours. We may not understand each other's situations 100%, but I think that having the ability to share our stories and vent to one another may help heal some ache.

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I am so very sorry about your loss. I, too, lost my brother in a tragic car wreck. I had just gotten out of the car when he sped off, only to die a short mile or so from our house. Apparently, he hit black ice, hit a curb, flipped over and rolled several times until he hit a gas tank. Yes, he was probably speeding. Did he deserve to die for that? No, or I don't think so. 

 

I can tell you that the pain we all experienced was staggering. My parents were decimated; that's the only way I can even hope to describe their loss. However, I grew up in a very strong family with good solid values and support. We survived and moved forward. It was so very tough at first, but I can tell you that it will get better. In time, the pain will dull to an aching throb. Here's what I learned through the various losses I've had--you don't have to stop loving someone even if they aren't physically here. You don't have to ever forget or "get over it" because you won't ever get over it. Instead, you learn to heal and move forward. You learn hope to cope, and you learn how to live a "new normal." It's going to take some time. You can help each other by talking about him, talking about how you feel and talking to each other. Talking is the best way to heal. 

 

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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mydeepestthoughts

I am so sorry to hear about your lost..I can feel your heartache. Life is indeed unfair, And when we hear tragic stories, such as yours we ask "why does bad things happen to good people. The bible give us the answer , and a hope for the future..Read Eccl 9:11 “Because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all.” So the answer is that sometimes we are just in the wrong place and time. But what hope is there for those who tragically die, like your dear brother? Jesus promised that he would heal us from the sadness of losing our loved ones..John 5:38,29 reads "Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice. 29: and come out."

Yes, the bible promises you that you can see your brother again...But since none of us has ever seen the dead brought back to life before..CAN we believe this? Please click on the following link for more proof on why we can have hope. http://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/dead-live-again-tract/dead-live-again/ ; Also feel free to ask Jehovah's Witnesses for more information the next time they visit.

Www.jw.org

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