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I'm surprised I'm still alive right now...


mommyofanangel3

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mommyofanangel3

Heres my story. 

 

On the 26th of Feb 2015 I quickly ran downtown to get a T.V. for my children for their playroom they've been begging me for months. There is a recession going on in my city, my husband lost his job and my ex was $10,000 in arrears for child support. When I finally got a payment I wanted to get a T.V. for my children to do something nice for them. I told my husband to watch our 4 children (none we had together) while i ran to walmart with my mom long enough to get the T.V. 

Our children all boys are 7, 3, almost 18 months those children are mine and my step son was 9 months at the time.  While downtown I get a phone call from my husband stating my 18 month old had choked and he's called 911 EMT were at the house trying to revive my son. This was the biggest nightmare a mother could hear. 

My mother ran every red light to get up to the house but it was too late the ambulance took my son to the hospital, so we raced back downtown to meet him there. As soon as we hit the parking lot the truck was still in motion I jumped out and ran into the hospital in a mad panic when the doctor came out he was furious and asked where the large bruise on the side of his face came from. I was in shock. 

To my horror there was a huge bruise on my youngest sons face and shortly after security and police circled his hospital room and nor me or my husband were allowed to see my son. My husband claims the bruise was from the night before falling out of the playpen but he woke up that day perfectly fine. He was not the biological father of my children but he took on the roll of full-time dad and loved them dearly it surprised me how much someone could love another mans children like he did. My boys biological father has been a deadbeat, doesnt pay child support, tried to give the children to my husband in the step-parent adoption process so he could wipe his hands clear of the amount owing. 

My son was airlifted 7 hours later due to delays with the helicopter which i will never understand to a large city children hospital. When he got there the 27th of feb the next day they pronounced my son brain death.  I wouldn't accept it. I prayed every hour of his remaining life for God to give me a miracle I asked for prayers all throughout Canada it never worked.  I had to let my baby go. In our province they are only legally able to have them on life support while pronounced brain death for so many hours i had no choice but to comply.  

When i returned back to my home the police ceased my home, and social services got involved and took our remaining 3 children and placed them in foster care without warning. As if i didn't go through enough hell. My world was shattered. To make the best of it, that deadbeat ex of mine got interim custody of my son while the 3 month supervision order is over by the courts. Yes i see my children 2 hours twice a week in a public place supervised by a social worker. 

Because of the circumstances in which my son died i separated from my husband and i haven't seen him since my children were taken early march.  My ex lost his child just like i did and is now plotting revenge against me by trying to minimalize contact between me and my son and going for full custody even though i raised him alone his whole life as well as my other children. Its been nothing but a fight against social services who told us tons of false information and are on my deadbeat exs side, and a court battle thousands of dollars later.  I lost my baby and nobody knows what happened.  Then my other children were wrongfully taken from me right after. Im hanging on by one string i got left to fight for my children back and its unbearable. I wouldn't wish this hell on my worst enemy. 

I find it very hard to juggle grieving over my baby and fighting for my children. Im trying to better my life completely so social services can see i am fit to look after my children again. I took a course obtained 6 certificates, 2 safety tickets, my learners licence, and a full-time job.  I got a few things to distract my mind but the pain doesnt go away. 

For my birthday april 20, just recently passed i was written from the organ donation program telling me how the 3 children did who received my sons organs. It was a beautiful gift, gave me a little closure. My son is an angel now, I've received many signs he is with me. He was my miracle baby, he was my best friend. 

There are no support groups for child loss in my city and counselling is 5 months long, i don't know where else to turn. My family and myself has been through so much hell these past few weeks but were still fighting. 

 

Maybe someone can relate to me.

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Khyris_Mommy

Oh hunny....I am so so sorry :'( my heart absolutely breaks for you :'( I can't relate to anything other than the loss....it is horrible...I can't imagine having to deal with so much on top of it as you have.  I don't know you, but want you to know that I am SO proud of you.  You are such an inspiration.  You have made amazing strides, you are an amazing mama, and I pray you will have your kids back soon. **huge huge HUGE hugs**  I don't get on here very often, but will be watching out for you when I do...if you need to talk in a pinch (sometimes replies take a bit on here) my email is kksj519@gmail.com, goes straight to my phone.  Keep your chin up mama.

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Latrells Mommy

Im so sorry for your loss. I COMPLETELY understand your pain. My 6 year old son choked on a button that one of my yonger children put in his mouth while he was asleep. He was on life support an they also declared him brain dead. I had to let him go. I also have 2 other children who were taken from me an are currently not in my care. Its hard to greivr for your child an then at the same time have to deal with being away from your others. I also allowed my son to be an organ donor an it brings me a sense of joy to know that his heart saved a 2 yr old an his liver a 13yr old. I relate to u in so many ways i had to reply. Latrell was my first born, my first love, he taught me how to be a mom. Im 24 years old an i have never loss anyone close to me before. Im here if you ever wanna talk maybe we can help each other. 

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Mermaid Tears

I seem to have read this story some time ago.

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