I cry everytime I think of her.

[gigglesnlaughs8]

When I was little I grew up with a dog and she was put to sleep and that was hard for me but I grew up and moved out my fiance at the time and I got our first dog. She was 3 years old and we adopted her from the pound. She was a beagle jack Russell mix and I named her Rylie. She quickly became mommy's little girl. Soon we wound up with three more dogs so he had 3 kids and I had the 4 dogs. It was a lot to handle but we were all a happy family. After 5 years I decided I was no longer happy and left my fiance the only thing I cared about taking was Rylie. She stayed with me through it all. Soon later I also got Leo (her "brother") and I had two of the four dogs. Those two became my everything. I also had a boyfriend who I may admit I would do anything for even if it hurt other people. But my Rylie always came first and he knew that..he came to love her as well. One day while I was at work he called me and told me Rylie was dying I said thay wasn't funny he said she had been throwing up all day and just laying around. When I got home I sat with her and said I wanted to take her to the vet. He said not to it was the weekend it would be expensive. I watched her and she wanted to do nothing but drink but then would immediately throw it up and she was becoming weak. I thought she had the flu or an upset stomach like she's had before. The next day she still wasn't better so I called the vet and he said it will be very expensive to see her so just wait it out if she's not better by Monday bring her in. She didn't get any better. On Sunday we were just laying around relaxing on our day off and I watched rylie try to go get water and she was wobbling snd fell down my boyfriend said to call the vet. I called and he said to go buy some kayro syrup and pepto. I ran to the dollar general and got the stuff. When I got home I asked my boyfriends cousin to hold her while I put it in her mouth. Rylie was laying in between the bed and the wall and he said Toni she's dead. I said no she's not she's still breathing and he moved her with his foot and her paws just went straight in the air. I ran out of the room screaming. My boyfriend came and got me said she was still alive but I needed to get this stuff in her and we needed to get to the vet. I watched the two of them hold her and put the pepto in her mouth as her tongue just hung out and it all just fell out but she was still breathing. We all got in the car and drove to the vet. We beat the vet there and when he finally arrived my boyfriend asked his cousin who was holding her in the backseat if she was Alive and he said he didn't think so. When we got her inside the vet said oh yes she's dead. I screamed and cried. I feel like had I taken her to the vet sooner she'd still be here. I feel like I neglected her when she was sick. I miss her so much sometimes I can't take it. I have pictures all over my house of her. I cry in pet aisles. I even got rid of her brother because he reminded me too much of her. Sometimes I don't want to do anything but hold her and talk to her but she's not here. I don't know if the pain is ever going to go away.

[pantheraleo1974]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel you should have gotten her to the vet. I understand and I can really relate to your "crying in pet aisles". Rylie is really cute and from the sounds of it you didn't neglect her. You cared for her for many years. In the end you tried to help her. You did take action. Maybe you didn't take her to the vet but you called the vet and sometimes that, in a hugely stressed state that you were probably in, can be difficult. You bought the syrup and pepto and you did try to help her. As hard as it is i think you should give yourself credit. I understand what you are saying about had you gotten her to a vet in time she might still be here. I hope this doesn't sound callous but getting her to the vet may not have saved her. I got my cat to the vet and it didn't save him. Now i have a huge vet bill to pay and no cat. Again i am sorry and i hope you can forgive yourself and find peace.

[pantheraleo1974]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel you should have gotten her to the vet. I understand and I can really relate to your "crying in pet aisles". Rylie is really cute and from the sounds of it you didn't neglect her. You cared for her for many years. In the end you tried to help her. You did take action. Maybe you didn't take her to the vet but you called the vet and sometimes that, in a hugely stressed state that you were probably in, can be difficult. You bought the syrup and pepto and you did try to help her. As hard as it is i think you should give yourself credit. I understand what you are saying about had you gotten her to a vet in time she might still be here. I hope this doesn't sound callous but getting her to the vet may not have saved her. I got my cat to the vet and it didn't save him. Now i have a huge vet bill to pay and no cat. Again i am sorry and i hope you can forgive yourself and find peace.