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ex boyfriend died


ghirltheresa

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ghirltheresa

Hi all. Well my ex bf died on 07/01/2014 he was very troubled. I loved him and still do.

I am finding it incredibly hard to get over this and him.

 

Our relationship was rocky to say the least! I was obsessed with him and i think we were addicted to each other.

It's now a year and 2 months and 5 days  on and i cannot for the life of me get better. I am forever at the doctors. I regularly abuse co-codamol and weed.

These are my way of escaping my thoughts and the depression.

 

He wasn't even all that good to me but i clung onto anything nice he did like a desperado.

 

The last time i seen him was the day after my birthday which was the september { before he died} he had beat me up the night before and i was leaving him.We kissed and cuddled as i was sitting  in my mums car while he begged me to not leave him. I promised i would come back and i didn't. He ended up back in prison for assaulting me for the hundredth  time and then he dies in january after being released for less than 2 months.

 

I would have got back with him that i cannot deny but where does this leave me now?

 

I miss him, the good side, he could be incredibly thoughtful and without alcohol he was a very quiet natured person.

He was always  always abusive though, he never hit me it was more emotional abuse which i believe is worse.

 

I don't really know where i'm going with this but it feels good to be able to get these thoughts and become part of a group where we all understand each other. I am totally struggling to move on from him. Even now he's no longer here i can feel those lovely feelings i had when i was with him which is painful as i know i will never get those times back.

I find other people attractive but i will not let anyone in. My life consists of not much if im honest and i do not know what to do.

 

Thanks for listening

Hope you are all well.

 

 

P.S on the upside i am due to have counselling which begins next week sothat is something positive atleast.

 

 

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Ghirltheresa,

I am so glad you are starting counseling because it sounds as though several things are going on with your obsession for a man who you say beat you but then you say he never hit you? I'm not quite sure I understand that... 

 

Honestly, using drugs to cope is only going to add to your problems, and they are likely to become severe if you keep doing so. Can you consider going off of them and doing something positive for yourself, like taking a brisk walk or joining a gym? Exercise releases necessary brain chemicals that make you feel good. It's way more healthier and positive than using drugs to get the same feelings. 

 

We will be here for you,

 

ModKonnie

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mabel raymond

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mabel raymond

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She has the best solutions to relationships and marriage issue.

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