Loss of my brother

[Rob'ssister]

My youngest brother, Robert (Rob or Bobby) died from cancer of his sinuses on December 27, 2014 at 10:55 pm. His fight began in April when he was finally diagnosed after having a unnecessary surgery and misdiagnosis in January. Being in healthcare, it never crossed my mind that he had cancer let alone stage 4 cancer. He fought a good fight and seemed fearless. Being 6 feet 7 and 280lbs, made us think he was invincible. He was 7 years younger than me so I can remember when my mom brought him home from the hospital thinking he was a baby doll, my baby doll and so our bond began. Being the youngest of five, he was quite spoiled and loved it.

I miss him SO much! I feel like a piece of my heart is gone and will forever be. I just feel like so many things are loved unsaid. I want to know if he's ok now. Are these feelings ever going to go away?

[sadsister1]

i know how you feel. I lost my brother in april of 2014. He died from a drug overdose at 36. I also lost my ex husband to cancer in 2013. you never really know how bad the loss of someone is until it happens to you. When it first happened I was a mess. I dont even remember much until about 2 months after. It was a sudden unexpected death but that does not make it worse or better. i had the same questions as you do. I spent a lot of time outside listening and waiting for answers. I am not religious but I am spiritual and I believe my brother's spirit is in a different form. At first I thought this was crazy thinking but after awhile it has given me comfort and when I see an eagle in the sky or a frog making lots of noise or just a beautiful part of nature I really think that is what keeps my connection with my brother. I drove myself crazy thinking about what he is doing where he is.... all those questions that can not be answered and I realized that my brother would not want that for me. I look for signs of him in this world. I reserve time in my day to think and grieve his death but I know I have to get on with my life. You will never get over the death of your brother. you will just learn to live with it. I hope you have the resources to be involved in a grief support group. This is a great place to talk too. Do something in his honor. I built a garden at my house and I have a chair where I can sit and think about him. the more you do stuff like that i think the sad tthoughts will get easier. I will think about you and your brother. I hope you feel some sort of joy today and have a thought about your brother that brings a smile to your face. Much love, Sadsister1