8 Weeks Today

[kelbell]

I lost my husband 8 weeks ago today.  He was 49 and died of lung cancer.  He never smoked.  He survived 3 years and 6 weeks with the disease after being told he had 6 months. 

He died in the hospital with 30 family and friends surrounding him.

We were married 18 years and together 22 years.  I am 42 years old and lost without him.  I am so sad all of the time.

[armaiti]

Dear Kelbell,

I am so sorry for your loss.  It's been over 2 1/2 years for me since I lost my partner.  I remember how hard that first year was.  The best you can do is to be very gentle with yourself.  Try not to make any big changes in your life.  And do what feels right to you, not to other people.  I had Ishaq's clothes hanging in the closet for almost a year after he passed.   I still have my "ancestor altar" where I have his ashes, his picture, a box with a lock of his hair, and other items. 

You've found folks here who understand. 

Blessings,

Anna Armaiti

[susanbruce]

Kelbell,

I lost my husband 3 years ago next month. 

I still get sad sometimes. It goes in spurts. The hardest for me were the first 2 years. Very, very hard. But I have now accepted it and am doing the best I can. The smallest thing can get me crying.

I am like Anna in many ways. Bruce will always be the only love of my life. Marriage is an eternal sacrament.  I have all of his clothes and have even moved them twice. I get a great deal of comfort keeping them. It's like I am reminding myself that he really did exist.

Anna is also right when she says take care of yourself. You can listen to what others say you should do but do what YOU believe is best. Eat right, get enough sleep, exercise.

This will be a tough fall for me. October 13 will be our 30th wedding anniversary. I have thought - what can I do to honor him and our love?

Grief is the price that we pay for love. You have definately come to the right place if you are looking for people who understand.

Susan