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avc2003

Grief and the Court System

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It just is that no matter what we do, how much we cry, beg, plead, bargain, wish, pray- our children will not be walking through the door as we know them any time soon- if ever. This is what I tell myself when I get too out of control, that there's nothing I can do to change what has happened. It stinks.

You can meet us at: https://griffin-schwartz.memory-of.com/about.aspx

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Joshsmom, I am so sorry you are going through all this, and for nearly nothing. I hold you in prayer, so that the next young person won't have such easy access to these pills. Injustice can be so painful. May your heart be given peace as you struggle to make sense of his death. Mark

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Hi I am Bridgette's mom, I did scan this thread to see if I could find my answer...but I didn't, so I will ask and hope for a favorable answer.

We lost our daughter in a car/train accident on 9-26-03, she was riding with 3 boys, going to pick up a friend of hers then on to a birthday party...they didn't make it. The first thing the R/R said (of course) was that they went around the arms, the first thing the News media said was that they had all been drinking, even zoomed in on an UNBROKEN bottle of rum that was still in the car, the train hit doing 60 mph, 3 of the 4 kids were thrown many, many, many yards from the vehicle, my point is that no bottle would have survived an accident like this.

Anyway, we were told by local police to get in touch with a lawyer, it was stressed strongly that we do, even given a name of a good lawyer by the detective that was there.

So, now we are almost at the 2 year mark and they are telling me it can be another 1-3 years. IS THIS NORMAL? GOD, we just really want it over with. There are at least 20 lawyers working on this case (with all the kids in the vehicle, and all the specialty lawyers that they have hired)you would think that they could put this together quicker.

This is like the final part of putting our daughter to rest and it is like we are not allowed to until we are told that we can by a bunch of lawyers.

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Ribitsmom, first let me say I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter, Bridgette, this is not a part of life that anyone wants to experience. It becomes especially hard if one has to experience it and the court system at the same time. Unfortunate what you are experiencing is normal. It takes a lot out of a parent to have to go through this, the not knowing what will happen is beyond belief. I guess a lot of it has to do with what your lawyer is telling you about the possible outcome. If they believe the outcome will be positive, negative, or not even sure. Sometimes just getting the information out there so that it is available to others can make such a difference in others lives and I am sure what happened with your daughter is something you don't want happening to another family. The news media will jump at any chance to sensationalize a story without any understanding, or comprehension about what it does to the lives of those left behind. I have talked to many going through these lawsuits and it is very draining because, yes, it is hard to put everything that bothers us about it to rest. To be honest, it will never be put to rest no matter what the outcome.

You have to ask yourself is you feel this is something that you are prepared to cope with, many will be able to do it, and many won't. Just stand back and take a look at the whole picture, what it is doing to the family. If you have the support then continue, if you feel you can't make it, then before you make a decision maybe you could get the advice of an advocate. In larger cities there might be someone to talk to that could give you some counseling about what to expect when you proceed. This is a very hard and tough road to take, it might help others, it will be hard. Jim

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RibitsMom,

Sorry it took me awhile to write back, I saw your other post to me concerning Josh's school and really appreciate your post!

I don't have any good news about the court systems either, just that I can relate to what your going through!

The kid that is charged with 1st degree reckless homocide for giving Josh the 2 Methedone pills, still hasn't gone to trial! He's still out enjoying his life like nothing has happened! The court dates have been scheduled and postponed several times now and again we are playing the waiting game! This kid acts like he will get away with this because so much time has passed (15 months now!) and in the depth of my soul, I pray that that doesn's happen! What we have gone through and the fact that Josh is gone, is as real to us as if it happened, yesterday! I pray that the jury and judge we eventually get, will understand that!

You've come this far, don't let things get you down, and try not to give up! In the end justice will hopfully prevail for all of us!

I look at it like this......all I have now is time, and the time that I do have I will spend getting justice for Josh!

Your daughter is looking over you and will give you the strengh to get through this last hurdle! (Well not the last, but hopfully the last big hurdle!)

I don't want to see another family get put through what this kid and his Mother have put our family through! They have been caught giving out this drug again since Josh died! That is enough for me to keep fighting and see the day they are put away! Even if it is for a short time, they will have to admit they did wrong, which to this day, they still have not!

Hugs to you and your family in your venture, and strength to you also!

Josh's Mom (Sue)

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Joshsmom: I have been following your story and my heart breaks for you...is there anyway to get federal agencies involved? If the local police force is not doing anything constructive maybe a tip to federal? I obviously know nothing about this type of situation but it just seems logical that selling drugs (any kind) is illegal and deserving of jail time.

Thanks for your kind thoughts, and no, I have no intention of giving up, I plan to go the full 9 yards with this Wrongful Death Suit. My daughter, Bridgette, was 2 months away from turning 18, she still had her braces on, she hadn’t graduated high school yet, she never had a serious boyfriend yet, she never went to college yet, no children, no nothing in the way of life…That is wrong and someone caused that, I want it known publicly that my daughter lost her life due to the actions of others.

The reason I want it over now…other than the fact that I can’t close this chapter is that I would like to lobby for the R/R to slow down in areas that are not rural. Or force them to put in over passes, underpasses…whatever. There was another accident with a 15 yr old just 2 weeks ago just up the “tracks” from our accident. So, until the suit is final I won’t be able to lobby, or make too public my thoughts. (I guess this web site is pretty public though). Oh well.

Again, thanks for your kind thoughts and that of Kirksdad, also. My thoughts are with all of you everyday.

Denise

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RibitsMom,

Actually I would love to get others involved in this, even a lawyer (which we don't have, just the District Attorney), but we are lucky to even have gotten the charges we have!

They're were so many skrew ups along the way so far....I wont go into details, but the coroner even messed up on obtaining the evidence of what and how much medication was in Josh's system, when he died. He was staying over at his best firend's house the night this happened and he was found unresponsive in the morning. I've been told that this kid gave Josh anywhere from 2 to 3, 10ml Methedone pills and told Josh they would give him a cool buzz! My son was not into drugs, he didn't even smoke cigarettes, but it was Memorial Weekend and almost the end of school, and his Sophomore year and I guess they were just looking for "somethingfun". Anyway, this kid knew what these pills were and how lethal they could be....they were his own Mother's perscription and she had almost OD"d on them 2 years ago! He chose to hand Josh a lethal dose of these pills! If he would have given him only 1 pill, I don't beleive that Josh would have died that night! This kid acts like everyone should just foget what happened, it's been long enough....well unfortunately we can't forget and we wont forget and I will spend the rest of my life making him remember too!!!

Josh also was so young! He had just started driving, had his first real girlfriend, his first real job! He was only 16! I too feel empty knowing I will never have grandchildren from him! He would have made a great Dad some day!

I run a home daycare and he always came home and played with the kids! He pushed them on the swings or just picked them up and would flip them around! He was such an easy going person! He had a real goofy sense of humor and he never really was bothered by much! He was content to be with his friends or in his room playing video games! I haven't changed his room at all, it's exactly like it was the day he died! I can't bring myself to take things out of there or change it in anyway! I sit in there all the time! I still smell his cologne when I open his door! Our dog used to sleep with him every night and now he wont go in Josh's room at all!

It's so unfair! Why us and why our kids???

I just miss Josh so much and I feel bad for my older son, he's lost his little brother!!! He's all we have now and I think we smother him alot! I know we've kind of pushed him away by doing this! We want him so close and now he's moved out on his own! That's been really hard on my husband and I! I know it was hard living here though after everything happened, it was just hard on him!

Thanks for understanding! It means alot to me to have that here!!!

Take Care,

Josh's Mom (Sue)

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Joshsmom, my heart breaks for you. As I sit here trying to think of something of compfort to type I hear the train whistle blowing in the back ground, to me that is my Bridgette saying, "Love you mom", which makes me think that our kids are with us always. It is an impossible situation that you are in, that we are all in.

Is it possible for you to get a lawyer with the DA working on the case? I am obviously ignorant of these things, but it just seems that if something doesn't work, look for something that might.

As for keeping Josh's room the same, and smothering your other son, I so understand this. My husband and I have spoiled our son terribly sinse the accident and can't seem to stop. It hasn't done our son any favors at all and he actually feels guilt taking things we offer freely. He is a good kid, a very good kid and misses his sister so much. The accident has hurt him in ways we hadn't seen coming until it was too late. He missed too much school after the accident, then was ill and in the hospital about 6 months after the accident, so missed antoher 2 weeks of school and then this last April he was in an accident and broke his back and missed the end of his school year (he is now a senior). So didn't get to graduate. I tie most (not the broken back) to the accident. I think the illness that put him in the hospital had much to do with his body not bouncing back from the depression of our loss. The broken back I think his sister was watching out for him, he could have lost his life.

As for the room, I made the mistake of cleaning it out 1 week after the accident...I don't know why I did it, but I wish I hadn't. My son asked me the other day why I did it and that he wished I hadn't, and that broke my heart because I can't undo it. He said that he would have a place to think about his sister if I hadn't done that...he wasn't mad at me, just disappointed. I think I would rather he was mad.

Denise

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Hello-- I am new here and find myself amazed, stunned and saddened by all the stories. My heart goes out to you all. I, myself, lost my son at three weeks of age due to an undiagnosed heart defect that could have been easily detected by an echocardiogram, and surgery would have enabled him to lead a normal, healthy life. His defect was transpoistion of the great vessels. I am now involved in a full blown lawsuit with my OB/GYN, due to her never ordering the echo, even though she was instructed to do so; by the ultrasound tech. They ordered this echo., because of my age and the higher risk of abnormalities in women over 35---I was 35. My OB readily admits she never read the order, never saw the order and only read "No abnormalities noted" and went on about her day, well, my Will was born in a small town hospital with NO neonatal unit, he had to flown to two different hospitals. He fought for his life for three weeks. I also have alot of questions for the second hospital where he landed, they did quite a number on his heart and pulmonary system and he had to be placed on an ECMO machine in order for these organs to heal themselves, he jumped that hurdle got off the ECMO, began to ingest breast milk, starting at 2 cc's and was ingesting 12 cc's within a(n) 8 hour period. They later tell us that he sustained some/slight brain damage in the Cath Lab, this is where they performed the ballon septosmy, and the ECMO came into play. I have already served and am in full battle mode with the OB~~~but I want answers from this hospital. On the night he died, they allowed his oxygen levels to drop so low his blood began to go acidic, and he passed. The cardiologist on call stood in a corner and cried as I held my dead son...I kept asking why????He did nothing but bellow and shake. My problem is: the attorneys I am dealing with, I have three, one in Fla. and two in Atlanta will not go after this hopsital until the OB case is over, but in all likely hood, the statue of limitations will run out and I will not be able to get these people. I want revenge, I want answers, I want MY BABY, but that is, impossible---does anyone relate to this??? Does anyone have any ideas??? Thank-you in advance. WillsMom

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Willsmom,

My heart breaks for you...I am finding that the court battles are such a long drawn out process, they take forever. I don't understand (I am sure there is a reason)why they can't file both cases at the same time, to me it sounds as though they are 2 different issues and should be able to go simotaniously. (sp)My thoughts are with you.

Denise-Bridgettes loving mom

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Hi Denise:

Thanks for the reply...I wish they would file against both, but the doctor from the hospital in Florida has signed an affividid (SP) with us against the OB/GYN, and my attorneys do not want him to change his testismony...or waiver from it. I have a horrible time with this. It is like letting people get a way with murder, and only punishing one person. I have complained and raised sand, and they only tell me I would be hurting myself...even if it goes to a jury trial, I would look like I was out to get everyone...but I am, you did it--you suffer for it. My baby boy is dead,a and I am suppose to take this like some amusement ride??? Yes, I want blood, because their hands are covered in my sons'. I am sorry. I just get so mad. Let me know what you think and your story...maybe I can help you...Sincerely, WillsMom~~Allyson

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Hi Allyson,

My story is that we lost our daughter Bridgette on Sept.26, 2003 @10:05pm. She was going out with people that she really had never met before, one of them (the driver) she met once a year before, and they were going to pick up one more person and never made it. They were hit by a train. Of course the first things the rail road said was that they went around the arms...evidence says that they did not. There are no witnesses other than the engineer and conductor and they could not see (although they say they did) if the car was going around the arms, due to angle of tracks and brush and trees blocking view. The first thing the media said was that they were drinking, which was false, toxicalogy says that they were all clean (4 in vehicle). All were lost in this accident. The train was going 60mph, which is just way to fast for this intersection, very busy intersection. 3 of the 4 were ejected from the vehicle and thrown I believe 200 yds. My daughter was laying across a track 200 yds from the intersection. The railroad plays a game with the courts and refuses every little thing that will help this case be completed. I just heard yesterday that they are shooting for October 2006 for a trial date, my guess is that this will not come about. I assume that the Rail road will put up too many road blocks for this date to happen. Bridgette was 2 months from her 18th birthday, she wanted to be a fashion designer and own her own fashion line. My biggest fear is that people will forget her, she was the life of the party and had soooooo many friends. She was good to everyone, always had a smile on her face, stood up for the underdog, her heart was larger than life and now its gone...what a fricking waste. So not fair. It is so different to lose a child vs an adult that has lived a long healthy life. Not to minimize the loss of anyone, but it is so needless, pointless, wasteful. Grief is grief and the loss is so devistating either way, but the loss of a child? It is so unfair.

It has effected us in ways we were not expecting; my son, who is now 18 has not graduated from high school with his class mates, he has been ill (very ill) many times since this accident and has missed so much school, he has been caught drinking 3 times by the police (not driving but at parties)he is living life dangerously, had a 4 wheeler accident in April and broke his back...we just can't seem to get back on the right foot. Our marriage has been strained, not awful but strained in many ways that it wasn't before. People don't know how to act around us, afraid to say the wrong thing. It is a completely new life, not a life that I enjoy at all.

So, my point with that novel I just wrote (sorry, long winded)is that, YES, I do understand you wanting blood and I do understand you getting so mad, I think that it is natural to want vengance. I don't know how you feel about taking this to court, but we are not after the money...we want them to hurt and the place that they will hurt is the pocket book. We want them to publicly appoligize (which will never happen) and we want rules to change. They did just redo the intersection where the accident happened, the arms are in working order now, there is a median between lanes so there is no way anyone can go around (if the arms are working). After the accident the news media was at the intersection and caught on film the arms messing up and coming down on cars or not coming down at all when a train went through. Lots of bad things that would take another novel to explain.

Good luck to you and my thoughts are with you and yours.

Bridgettes mom - Denise

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Oh wow, Denise---I have no real words, other than to tell you how sorry I am and your daughter sounds like a wonderful, talented girl; someone I would've hung out with. I am so sorry. The RR is a big Daddy to take on and I commend you for your bravery, and determination. Like you, I cannot hurt these people any other way but through the courts~~Money is no object either. I want to right the wrongs and fix this so it never happens to another baby or Mother. I was floored when you said 2006...I sometimes wonder if any of this will really pan out, and if fighting the good fight for all the right reasons will make a difference. I would love for the RR to suffer a horrible blow. I hope they do, they should. On your son, he is just reacting to the horror he feels. I can relate to that emotion, as I know you can too. I just hope he rides out of the fog. He is hurting. I pretty much suffer alone. I do have two living sons, who I can honestly tell you are the only reason I am here. My husband and I never discuss any thing...not a single thing. I handle all the attorneys and such. He worries with his businesses and pretty much does his own thing. It has hit us hard too. I have often wondered what is worse, having a beloved child for many years and losing them or never REALLY knowing them....what all might have been: what they would sound like, feel like, act like---smile like...I could go on and on. I have yet to decide which is worse. I know that loss of something so dear is absolute misery and despair. You hang tough with those bastards and I will do the same...Our children deserve that from us...and I hope we get our justice and vengence. Let's stay in touch! WillsMom~~Allyson

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Oh wow, Denise---I have no real words, other than to tell you how sorry I am and your daughter sounds like a wonderful, talented girl; someone I would've hung out with. I am so sorry. The RR is a big Daddy to take on and I commend you for your bravery, and determination. Like you, I cannot hurt these people any other way but through the courts~~Money is no object either. I want to right the wrongs and fix this so it never happens to another baby or Mother. I was floored when you said 2006...I sometimes wonder if any of this will really pan out, and if fighting the good fight for all the right reasons will make a difference. I would love for the RR to suffer a horrible blow. I hope they do, they should. On your son, he is just reacting to the horror he feels. I can relate to that emotion, as I know you can too. I just hope he rides out of the fog. He is hurting. I pretty much suffer alone. I do have two living sons, who I can honestly tell you are the only reason I am here. My husband and I never discuss any thing...not a single thing. I handle all the attorneys and such. He worries with his businesses and pretty much does his own thing. It has hit us hard too. I have often wondered what is worse, having a beloved child for many years and losing them or never REALLY knowing them....what all might have been: what they would sound like, feel like, act like---smile like...I could go on and on. I have yet to decide which is worse. I know that loss of something so dear is absolute misery and despair. You hang tough with those bastards and I will do the same...Our children deserve that from us...and I hope we get our justice and vengence. Let's stay in touch! WillsMom~~Allyson

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Hi Everyone,

It\'s been awhile since I\'ve been here. Allyson and Denise, I hope both of you, as well as all of us who have a huge road ahead of us in our legal battles, come out ahead with the justice our children deserve.

My Kristian was misdiagnosed, grossly and negligently for 2 years by the time she was correctly diagnosed for brain cancer.

Right now, I am waiting for my deposition date. I am going to be the first. My lawyer, without needing too, made it clear the doctors\' ( there is more than 1) lawyers are going to try their best to make it seem like they did all they could. i say BS. My daugther was emaciated, completely blind and barely conscious by the end of the night the day she was finally sent for a catscan for and I quote med records exactly \"a possible detached retina\". She had a brain mass so large and veining, that night they told me they weren\'t sure there would be anything they could do for her, but they would try. It\'s not like this could have \"snuck up on her\". There was so much that I took her to the dtrs for, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week during those last few months.

I\'ve been out of my mind with rage since then. From that very day until this day. It makes me tired every so often, but it never dissipates. Not in the least.

I have a question for those who have already been through their depositions, how did you handle it through all the questions that I can only imagine will make me want to jump over the table and choke the life out of those other lawyers?

Anyhow, I sent my youngest 2 off to their first day of school. My second school year in a row seeing 2 off instead of 3. I miss all of them being caught up in that excitement. Nothing can replace that. There are so many words and not enough space to express them.

Allyson, I know what you are feeling and even though Kris had just turned 10 when she passed, I see her face in my youngest daughter and the time I had with her seems so short for me, that compared to the short time you had with Will, I can\'t imagine.

As hard as it can be, take care, and peace to all. Chels

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Chels mom the best way to handle the deposition is to remain calm and direct and provide short answers to the questions.It is very difficult not to be emotional but you don't want to show them any areas that are weak for you as it gives them ammunition for trial.I have not yet had to do the deposition for my son but I have done other depositions as I am in the medical field.Finally on Monday the driver who is responsible for my son and another boys death is going to change his plea and accept charges that have been reduced to virtually nothing since it is youth court to avoid trial then we will have a disposition hearing where finally I will be able to tell(scream) at the boy and tell him what I think.I don't know much about your daughter but it certainly warranted a CT scan earlier.

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Hey Chels:

First and for most, let me say that I am sorry. I have yet to be deposed...they are still after the OB and the cardiologist that signed the affividat (SP)....Please let me know how that goes...I wish I could give you advice on what to expect and say..but from what I understand it is NOT pleasant.You hang tough and know that I am just as mad...I wish you only the best and please clue me on the deposition thing...all my lawyers say we will never see a jury...and I would LOVE to....give me a hand full of Americans and I would love to see the outcome...I will only send you the best vibes/prayers...and let me know about you...I am here with you and want you to suceed...and let us all rest easy...finally. Type soon or e-mail me at gbush@rose.net...Allyson

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chels, willmsom is right, stay calm and hang tough. Also your attorney will be in the room with you and should meet with you either the day before or right before the depo to go over your testimony. Take your cues from him and follow his advice - after all that's what you are paying him for. I wish you the best. Lynda

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Hi Lynda:

If I can be so bold as to ask you for some advice...It seems like you have been through this before. If you can help me, I would be so appreciative. I am facing possible depo., even though the cardiologist and the OB have yet to be deposed. All the attorneys think it will be settled, but do I have the right to demand a jury trial?? I do not want any gag orders or anything of that nature. I would like this doctor (OB) to loose her hospital license and where-ever else I can hit besides money. Is this possilbe?? Please tell me your story...Between all of us, I can see real help and kindness coming from this, just because we all have been so wounded. My son would've been 1 year old tomorrow--the 13th, and I am having a real time of it....back on all meds. and just plain un-emotional...like disbelief....Any help would be wonderful. Thank-you in advance...WillsMom~~ Allyson~~ gbush@rose.net

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WillsMom: Happy Birthday Will! I hope this day is gentle on you Allyson and wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.

I have not been to this thread for a while and I don’t know why, I think that when I think of the court system and lawyers and all that is involved with this, it is difficult. I don’t consciously shy away from it, but I find that I shy away just the same…does that make any sense?

Allyson, I just wanted to thank you for the kind words below and apologize for not replying sooner. As for the RR being a “big daddy” to take on…you are so correct. We never would have pursued this if immediately the police officers hadn’t pulled us aside and said, “You need to get a good lawyer and here are some recommendations” and asked us not to repeat the fact that they suggested we get a lawyer. Immediately after the accident we also thought that the kids went around the arms and that some of them were probably drinking (I knew my daughter hadn’t because she had been with me up until just before she left). So, we weren’t even thinking about a lawyer at that point.

We are 2 years into this with all of the lawyers and they are just now starting to do depositions, they did 1 last week. There will obviously be many and they have only done 1. From what I understand, the RR has blocked/dragged their feet on the depo portion of this also. If I am correct, all parties are to be present while depo’ing? I didn’t know that we/the parents would be depositioned…is this correct? This is such a huge case that I feel lost in the mess of it all. There are so many lawyers involved.

What would be a correct amount of contact with the lawyers? I find that the further we get from the accident date, the less I speak with my lawyer…1 every few months. I feel that I am interrupting them if I call and they are not very good about calling me. Maybe it is that nothing has changed, but as the parent the law suit has given me something else to concentrate on other than the loss I suffered. It gave me an outlet for my anger. Or, I should say that it used to give me an outlet in the beginning.

Good luck to all. Denise ~ Bridgette’s mom.

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Hi Denise:

Today had not been very nice to me, so I will make this short, but sweet. On the attorneys, I would call and call, until my questions/fears are either answered or reassured. By law here in GA. they are required to contact you atleast once a month for an update and the like...same law in Fla. My heart goes out to you to hang in there for so long, and want to get the justice your daughter deserves. You and I are paddling the same boat...you have been at it alot longer than I have, but we are rowing together! I would go on full bitch mode (excuse me, but that's what I call it) and let these attorneys KNOW they work for you. I have had "words" with my attorney, sometimes he is right and sometimes I am, but I always get out of it what I need. You have go to be sooo frustrated. Doctors and lawyers only see dollar signs and forget that these were living, breathing, loved children...I never let my attorney forget that, and I have told him not to use the word "settlement" with me~~it gives my stomach a hard smack. All I can say is hang tough. I am about to call it a day. Will's 1st birthday has been hard on all of us today. I just miss him so.Type soon and let's be each others' cheerleaders....we're gonna need it! Bye and have a nice day/evening...WillsMom~~ Allyson

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Hi Lynda:

If I can be so bold as to ask you for some advice...It seems like you have been through this before. If you can help me, I would be so appreciative. I am facing possible depo., even though the cardiologist and the OB have yet to be deposed. All the attorneys think it will be settled, but do I have the right to demand a jury trial?? I do not want any gag orders or anything of that nature. I would like this doctor (OB) to loose her hospital license and where-ever else I can hit besides money. Is this possilbe?? Please tell me your story...Between all of us, I can see real help and kindness coming from this, just because we all have been so wounded. My son would've been 1 year old tomorrow--the 13th, and I am having a real time of it....back on all meds. and just plain un-emotional...like disbelief....Any help would be wonderful. Thank-you in advance...WillsMom~~ Allyson~~ gbush@rose.net

Allyson - I can't give you any other advice that what I have already stated. And no I haven't been through this myself. I work for attorneys, but please understand (I have to shout this, sorry) I CANNOT GIVE YOU LEGAL ADVICE AS AM I NOT AN ATTORNEY. It's just the things I would say if we had a client such as yourself. Most of what we handle are divorces, but some personal injury too. Nothing like what I read on the board, thank heavens, because since I lost my daughter to a car crash I don't think I could handle it at work. And work has helped me regain my sanity. For sure, keep after your attorney to you get the answers you need. I hope all goes well for you and the others on this board. Lynda

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Lynda:

Sorry, if I stepped over a line with you. I just thought you maybe able to help and I completely understand where you are coming from. I too, wish you only the best and will not impose any other questions upon. I wish you only the best and know that I mean that. Willsmom

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Allyson – you can be in “bitch mode” all you want, I think we have all earned it. “Once a month” you say? Well, that is certainly not happening. In fact, a short, catch up story: My husband was ‘full steam ahead’ with hiring an attorney in the beginning, then after almost a year he just wanted out of it…this is after we got the other 3 families behind us with attorneys. (If 1 family does the law “road” then everything is put on hold until the case is completed, no ins. Pay out or anything, so they were almost forced into filing suit also.) So after the first year my husband said to call the lawyer and tell him we want out…well, I couldn’t at that point, my conscience wouldn’t allow it. He is a business owner and has lawyers on his staff and asked questions of them as to a guess on the outcome of this suit we filed. The answer he had was that there will be almost no money in the end once the lawyers get all the fee’s that they charge along with expenses. So, he had me tell the lawyer that we want a monthly accounting of expenses…which we got only once. Not only that, but I believe we irritated the lawyer with that request…he was very diplomatic and all but he was still irritated. What happens is that all 4 families will split all the expenses when the case is over, and each of the law firms are in charge of gathering certain evidence and each gathering of evidence is more than likely pretty expensive. What I don’t understand, and Julsmom you may be able to fill in some blanks, is why they wait after 2 years to start doing the depositions? Why they wait 2 years to talk to witnesses or others that have had issues at this crossing? My thought is that nobody’s memory is as accurate after 2 years. I gathered as much evidence as I could…talked to people that had issues with this crossing prior to the accident and after the accident. Every time the arms at the crossing had an issue that I was aware of I notified the law firm of date and time and what the incident involved. I wonder why the law firm couldn’t have put a camera in the vicinity to monitor the arms. Even police officers have been complaining about this intersection for years.

Anyway, that is my novel…once again. Sorry for “typing your eyes off”.

Denise

Julsmom: I am very sorry...I didn't read the history. Please don't answer the question above...no need.

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willsmom and ribitsmom- don't worry, you didn't step over any lines. I wish I could give you more information, even just as a friend. I know in our state, the attorneys try to settle the matter before going to court, but if it doesn't settle they must file a suit within 2 yrs of the accident. (I don't know about medical malpractice). That's when all the depos, etc start. Hope you are all ok and find justice and peace. Lynda

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