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avc2003

Grief and the Court System

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Allyson,

I am very sorry for being scarce, I have been extremely busy, then must have just gotten to the point where I didn't need this forum as I used to, I also found that when I visited too often it brought me down again. So, I found...FOR ME...it wasn't as healthy as it used to be.

I am very sorry for not being available when you needed to talk, and if you still need an ear I will check in a bit more for a while...if all else fails, I believe my email is available if you look up my profile.

Take care,

Denise

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Have never felt the need to write on this part of BI but 9 months I find myself between court systems and none of it gives me the breathing space to grieve for Micheal.

Firstly the Coroners Court. Micheal died at the home he shared with his partner and their child. Resus by Paramedics failed to revive him. He suffered with degenerative cartilage and bone disease and had a pacemaker fitted to correct arrhythmias of is heart. He underwent corrective surgeries and over a number of years suffered with depression. He was medicated for both the pain and the depression. In December 2006 he separated from his partner for a short period,

He returned home to us and was finally getting a hold on his depression and physical recovery. He returned to his partner 12 Jan 07 and died 18 Jan 07. The Coroner was called and requested and investigation. Police interviewed his partner and her mother, Paramedics at the scene (my husband) and myself. In her statement his partner said she saw him at 9am, didn’t think he was breathing, but went off to her folks house (on the same property) for breakfast. Came back 9.30am and still wasn’t sure if he was breathing so went to get her folks to check!

The Coroner wrote to us saying he had enough to make a finding, unless we had other evidence! I wrote pages on who Micheal had spoken to at 2am that morning and why they needed to speak to this person. It was his partners sister! I wanted to know why his partner wasn’t required to explain the delay in calling 000 (911). Many people that knew Micheal and spoke with him in the later part of 06 and the early part of 07 were shocked that he had died! We are still waiting for the Coroner to consider the further information provided by myself and those who want to know exactly what happened.

It really sucks that this person (his partner) was unsure he was okay and waited over 35mins to contact Paramedics. Even if it is proven that she knew he was dying no criminal charges can be laid. Apparently there is no law to say if you find someone isn’t breathing you need to do anything at all! To take her to Civil court and prove her guilty of any moral crime will only serve to deplete her financially and as she is my granddaughters mother, it comes back to affect her more.

Next is my supportive employer. I worked that day in January as an Emergency Medical Dispatcher. I watched as the job came in and stayed with the calltaker while she attempted resus over the phone prior to the Paramedics arrival. She was devastated when she realised it was my son. I took her for a coffee while we waited for the resus to continue. I returned to the communications centre to be told my son had not responded. I tried to return to work one month later but could no longer perform my duties. The memory of Micheal dying on the screen before my eyes fresh and the pain still raw. But no my company have said I wasn’t technically working. I was not taking the call nor was I dispatching ambulances! So to Court we go. Advised by my Doctors who believe this is clearly Post Traumatic Stress. I have not worked in over 9 months.

With each saga comes the agony of reliving the nightmare that continues. We have no contact with our Granddaughter and have been told through solicitors that Micheals partner will fight us through Family Court to prevent any of Micheal’s family from accessing his daughter. Yep another Court another cost that we cannot afford.

To those who control the outmosphere I would like for the following -

For Micheals memory to be honoured by his death to be finalised with a finding that indicates persons unknown or unidentified caused his death by either over medicating him or by their inactions.

My company to apologise for their lack of empathy and compassion towards me and inturn my family for the past 9 months of torment.

For my heart to ache, my tears to flow and my son to be mourned without the encumbered process of Coroners, Magistrates and Family court actions.

For my baby Granddaughter to know in her heart that her dad though gone touched her soul albeit briefly and to this day she is love from beyond the earthly bounds.

For my energy be saved to continue with the family and the life Micheal has left and never wane.

Thanks for letting me vent - It really is therapeutic and cheaper than a shrink!

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A computer is spamming this particular forum topic.  We are trying to "plug the hole" so to speak so that it cannot post as a guest - something that is not even supposed to be possible.  I may end up moving the legitimate posts to another thread and delete this Court System topic in an attempt to stop the spamming.  I've deleted over 30 bogus posts this evening.  Thanks for alerting me to this spam - I just wanted to let you know we are working on the problem!

Take care,

Dawn

Beyond Indigo

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I am going to try shutting down the ability to post to this thread and create a new topic.  Hopefully, that will stop the horrible spamming on this thread.

Thanks for your patience.

Dawn

Beyond Indigo

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