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Loss of a brother.


alayla

Think about it. What gift did your sibling give you? Are you going to use it?  

7 members have voted

  1. 1. Think about it. What gift did your sibling give you? Are you going to use it?

    • Yes, I owe it to him/her.
      4
    • No, I don't care anymore.
      1
    • Of course, I want to make him/her proud.
      2
    • No, it hurts too much to do that anymore.
      0
    • I'm not sure if I can handle it now.
      1


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If there is one thing that I have learned recently... it is that giving up is not the answer. Those who have gone before us, including my brother, and possibly your brother or sister...  probably wherever they are, are looking at us in hopes that we'll make better choices and decisions and make the most out of this life we are living. Granted, I still think of suicide at least once a day. BUT. I look at my brothers guitar pick hanging on my necklace, and I think... 'Shelby taught me how to play the guitar so that I could enjoy music, so that I could share my music with others, so that I could make him proud.' If I took my life, simply because he is no longer living this life by my side, I would not be making him proud, I would instead be wasting the most precious gift he ever gave me besides his love. And so each time I return to those suicidal trenches in my mind... I think about that. My whole life I have wanted to make him proud. And now that he's gone, I'll be damned if I'm gonna give up and let him down.:?

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alayla, your message is an excellent one.  In the early stages, I could only feel the hurt, nothing more.  These days, the hurt is still there but I can now choose to do things in honor of my lost sibling (actually cousin). 

I was not taking care of myself at all.  I simply did not want to.   But now, I have quit smoking and have dieted, losing 40+ pounds.  And what has given me the strength to do this?  I do it in honor of my cousin, Steve.   I can't do it for me.  But I can for him.  Strange, but true.

/*tom*/

 

 

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i dont know exactly what to say except i really need to talk to some one anyone...i feel as if im on the verge of a major melt down.................its been two weeks and one day since my brother jason died he had downs syndrom which is a form of mental retardation, i guess i shuld have expected him not be around for long..but i'm only 15 these things do cross my mind.........everyones telling me to just be happ for them but i can't ...........please help me.....what do i do?

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I'm not sure what to say as far as your situation goes... right now I am struggling with flashbacks of the 6 hours surrounding the time when I got the news about my brother. I will think about it. Until then... Stay strong. We will make it together.

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