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TimeToGo

Stuck in the same home over the holidays, faking it for the kids!

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Ive known for a long time that he was not the one for me. I emotionally and physically checked out a long time ago, now is the hard part. Here is the short version of my situation:

 

When we met it was instant attraction. He was handsome, kind and liked my family and friends. There were a few red flags early on. He moved in to my home within months, and we quickly got in to the domestic roles.  The friends of mine that he at one time enjoyed, eventually annoyed him. He was not as empathic to me or anyone else, and seemed to sort of live in his own little world. Then I got pregnant, not even by accident.

 

I was completely alienated. He was possessive, did not want me leaving the house and would ridicule be for wanting to have a social life, calling me immature. Although I noticed it, I think that I chose to look past it. There was some other very terrible things happening in my family at the time, which played as a smoke screen for his bad behaviour. I blamed my feelings of depression and anxiety on the other issues, as well as my pregnancy.

 

We have since had 2 children, and now that life has slowed down, and I am far more stable, I can see that he has been very emotionally abusive. I moved to a different room a few months ago, and cannot move until we get documents signed off by lawyers. Living with him right now is terrible! He reads my emails, texts and checks up on my history of what I look up online. He alienates me from my kids by inserting himself into everything that we do. I find myself trying to escape by drinking booze or actually leaving the house to do just about anything. I felt strong when I made the decision to finally end our marriage, but Im starting to feel depleted and weak. 

 

Good luck to all of you out there who are experiencing this during the holidays! 

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