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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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Ohioscott

I'm about to go through my first divorce and it's all my fault

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I've been married for 22 years to a wonderful woman. I married her because I was selfish and thought getting married would fix my problems (it didn't). It's been really hard to be with the extended family knowing next year my name will be mud. So in 2015 I move out and lose my wife, my 2 son's will still be in my life to a lesser degree, I'll have to find a new church or just not go. Find somewhere to live cheaply and alone. I should have never married. This whole episode just dovetails beutifully to my existing depression. I honestly don't know why I'm writing any of this... Christmas is supposed to be a time for miracles but all I see is despair. Life sucks.

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I hope things get better for you. Are you seeing a counsellor? Sometimes it helps to give perspective.

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Hey Scott.

 

I don't know if my post will help, but I am going through the same thing right now, so you're not alone.  It's 100% my fault.  I am also incredibly selfish and none of my problems were fixed by getting married.

 

I feel terribly alone as I'm in a different city than my family so i can't see them and the anxiety is gut-wrenching.  I have a daughter and I will see her even less now as well.  I was wallowing in depression before this and, ur right, this doesn't help.

 

I think the important thing to know is that you are not alone.  People go through this and they make it.  You will too.  I wish you the best.  Stay strong....even though it doesn't seem like it will get better, it will.  It has to.

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