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angelscry

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my son committed suicide two years ago, i dont know when your daughter did but time has no meaning, this is my first post

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Mermaid Tears

Susan1969....am so sorry for the loss of your SONshine boy....please go to Loss of Adult Child site....there are many active parents on that site....and sad to say...many have lost their child to suicide...we don't have any answers...but we are parents that grieve and deal with mourning and loss....and we hold each others hands while on this grief journey....please go there and tell us about your boy and how you are doing.....and yes.....I and many will agree that time has lost it's place and meaning....we have one foot in yesterday and one foot in today....we want to go back....and it is hard to move forward. Peace to you.

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Today I was really struggling to live on this planet.  I cannot figure my life out. It doesn't have any sense of normalcy everything has changed.  From my outlook on life to my deep sense of depression now with gray skies in my city most of the time and limited daylight hours I am worried about my well being.  I don't feel safe in the world without my son.  He was so grounded and kept our family connected.  Now I have to move through the rest of my life without him and his wisdom.  He taught me so many things - how to love, how to smile when things aren't going well, smile anyways, he taught me patience - he love to talk - constantly I miss this.  I miss Benjamin's hugs most of all.  He would just collapse in my arms whenever I gave him a hug, even recently as a teenager, he always gave me a hug whenever I needed one.   LIke right now, I could really use a Benjamin hug.  I am a wreck sad all day, crying - had to leave work in the middle of a training, worried about my boss and peers judging me.  Not feeling strong today at all.

 

 

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Mermaid Tears

Lisa...I think you are asking 'too much' of yourself at this time....let's face it....your whole world has been shattered...and you can't walk without losing your balance....eat without your tummy hurting....and facing the world without your loved one...is something akin of blasting off into inner space....no ground to step on....endless space....and so dark....

   and this is not a time for a grieving parent....and...you also lost your Dad....in the same accident and the same day...for you to be strong....that word is wrong to use for a grieving parent.....strong and brave and all those 'words' do not define a grieving parent....

   broken...sad....hurt....in pain...lost...paralyzed...

those are the words that describe a grieving parent....

at this time....don't worry about how your co-workers judge you.....

let them walk in your shoes for a day....

don't worry about 'them'.....you just worry about yourself...and do all you can to 'self care' yourself...this is a time to cry...post-306805-0-36470900-1416530623_thumb.post-306805-0-52707400-1416530796_thumb.

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