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I Miss My Mom So Much


sarah14

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I lost my beloved mom to suicide on April 26, 2014 and I miss her terribly. What's even worse is that the holidays are coming up and this will be the first time I will spend them without my mom. Why did she have to leave me like this? I feel like she went onto heaven and is happy as can be while I'm left here on earth as miserable as can be. I just don't understand it, at all.

 

Does anyone have any advice, wisdom, or input?

 

Regards,

 

Sarah

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Newbie, I am so sorry for your lose. I have lost 4 family members and the holidays are hard. I have been without my Dad since 2001. He didn't take his own life but he passed one hour after my birthday,one week before Christmas. My Mom passed on my oldest sons birthday has been gone since 2003. She did not take her own life. My oldest sister too her own life in August on my sister in laws birthday.she has been gone 2years. And now my baby brother took his life August 14th. His daughters birthday and my sons birthday. I truly understand your feelings about the holidays. I will never understand what makes a person take their own life.i miss them all I have days I just sit and cry.i have this problem I just can't let go of the ones I love. I was thinking I could find someone to talk to that might help me and I would love to try to help someone else.

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,Sarah 14 I am so sorry for your lose. I have lost 4 family members and the holidays are hard. I have been without my Dad since 2001. He didn't take his own life but he passed one hour after my birthday,one week before Christmas. My Mom passed on my oldest sons birthday has been gone since 2003. She did not take her own life. My oldest sister too her own life in August on my sister in laws birthday.she has been gone 2years. And now my baby brother took his life August 14th. His daughters birthday and my sons birthday. I truly understand your feelings about the holidays. I will never understand what makes a person take their own life.i miss them all I have days I just sit and cry.i have this problem I just can't let go of the ones I love. I was thinking I could find someone to talk to that might help me and I would love to try to help someone else.

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Sarah,

 

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mom.  I am struggling with a loss as well.  I am not sure how I will get through the first year of firsts without my son.  He was the light of my life and I miss him terribly, my father passed on as well...they were together.

 

I am missing them both but mostly can only think about my son.

 

Thanksgiving is the next big holiday, I usually have dinner at my house with my son's best friend's family and others who don't have plans - friends or family nearby.  This year I want to do the same thing but I am not sure if I can stomach the emotional part. I know I will be sad without my baby to enjoy his favorite dessert.   Dessert was what he liked best at Thanksgiving...and mashed potatoes and fresh baked rolls.  It does make me happy to eat foods that he especially liked.  Maybe I will just make his favorite foods and have dinner at home with my husband.  I will have to decide soon it is only 19 days away.  Then Christmas, OMG I really don't want to think about Xmas...I don't think it will ever be the same without my child.

 

I am not sure how you celebrated the holidays - was your Mom with you?  I have read that some families honor the passing of family members by setting out a plate and chair for their loved one...(this doesn't resinate with me though), I think I would like people to share their fondest memory of my son and what they miss the most about him. 

 

I feel better already sharing this with you, sorry I went on about my own grief...I think it is good to have a plan for the holidays though, need to think about it a little - prepare yourself if you are planning to get together with family.  Talk about what you would like to see happen or not happen.

 

This is what helps me.

 

Praying for you and your Mom Sarah...healing thoughts

 

Lisa

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