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keiko

New job too soon after loss?

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I feel like I made a mistake accepting a promotion/new job.  I had mixed feelings about accepting the job as it triggers grief and reminds me of my mom's death.  Firstly because I did the interview on a Thursday - 3 days before my mom died so part of me regrets going to the interview and not spending time with my mom even though I'm sure my mom would rather have had me go to the interview.  I was also stopping at the hospital every morning before work, but didn't go that morning because I wanted to stay focused for my interview. At this point though, we had no idea she was so close to dying.  My mom passed away on Sunday then on Monday I was offered the position.  The thing that bothers me about the offer is that HR knew my mom passed away the day before (as my former supervisor informed them that I may be unreachable that day), but yet they repeatedly called me all day and pressed me for a decision. I understand business is business but it wasn't 24 hours since my mom passed and the position didn't need to be filled immediately so I was baffled by their persistence that day.  It bothers me a lot.  Then they wanted to me start 2 weeks later, but I was not ready (still had to make funeral plans and just deal with the aftermath of a family member dying!) so I started the following month.  I felt like I had to accept it since I sacrificed time with my mom but the entire time I had a nagging feeling that it'd be too much too soon.  Too many changes at once.  This job was a big promotion which of course means more responsibility and lots more stress; something that I can't really take on right now as my grief is still intense and some days I just want to crawl in bed and stay there all day.  I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed and if I had my last job, I'd have a lot more flexibility to take care of myself and do what I need to do.  I just don't know if I really made a mistake or if I'm just overwhelmed.  I don't want to do anything I'll regret - like quit and when I feel better I regret it.  I can't talk to people about it because they look at me like I'm crazy that I can't handle this new job right now.  Part of it too is that I received quite an inheritance so I don't really need this job or the stress.

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