Feel guilt

[Cheekybum]

I lost my little man of 18 months on 31st October to someone breaking in and killing him. I just can't seem to get over it I wish he was still here I don't want to go home cause I know he isn't there the tears have stopped but the pain in my heart hasn't actually no tears started again I just don't want to be without him.... I don't know whether to cremate him or preserve him I miss him so much ... I feel like I let him down I moved to give him a better life and it got him killed I had him since he was born under my bed. He had CH which was a problem with his legs I just want to know he didn't suffer and knew I loved him . He saw me through the death of my daughter and the trials and every loss I've had to endure I feel like this is the breaking point for me I wish it had been me not him I just want him back

[birdie06]

Hi cheeky bum,I'm am so sorry for your loss,I had my cat of 181/2 years put to sleep 10 Oct. that was the hardest thing for me to do,she was my moms cat,when my mom died I flew her down to Va. w me,been w me since.I've had plenty of surgeries,she seen me thru,in the last week prior to being put to sleep she had gone into acute renal failure,I forced fed her for 4 days,she couldn't go potty,it was so so sad,I knew what I had to do,but,didn't want to,I'd look at her and ball my eyes out,than I told Ashley I would help her out,I knew she was in pain,I made the appt.took her in,had her put to sleep,I held her thru the process,I had her cremated,she will always be with me,cherished memories,and yes I still cry,everywhere I look I see her,I miss her so much.I do think it would help to have your little one cremated,it keeps you together always.And I talk to her everyday.

[Cheekybum]

Thanks for that I'm just so sad I still want to see him that's why I was thinking preserving him