When will there be peace

[Beagle blessed]

It's been three days since I lost the love of my life of 12 years. I held him in my arms as his heart stopped and it has taken my breath away. I'm so sad and even though there are people around me that truly care for me, I feel so alone.

I walk around and see him everywhere.. I feel very empty. Every piece of clothing has his fur, every corner has his bed where he use to lay, he is even in every dream I have. When will I find piece again.. When will I be able to think about him and not feel so much pain and hurt..

[kind1]

I cry almost daily after the sudden loss of my sweet baby, Scotty.  He blessed our lives for almost 14 years.  It does get easier, but is much worse than I expected.  Perhaps if it hadn't been so sudden, I may have been able to cope better.  I also have a 3 1/2 year old Pomeranian.  She was always such a crazy, silly acting little dog.  She was alway so happy-happy-happy.  Scotty was much older than her and he just put up with her silly antics.  I never realized how hard she would take it or how much it would affect Callie. She barely ate, layed around lifeless and even stopped barking.  (She was a barker)  Not only was I mourning for the  loss of Scotty, but I was grieving for her too.  She was loosing weight and my heart was breaking.  I made a post on FB and several suggested getting her a new companion.  I said I thought it was too soon.  My husband's neice had me call her.  The next day I took Callies over to my neice's house.  We had gotten Callie (the Pom) from her.  She had 3, 11wk. old puppies.  She gave me Callie's sister.  I took her with the understanding that if it didn't work out she would take her back.  I actually felt worse, for a couple of days, I felt like I was betraying Scotty.  I named her Hope.  I hope she will just be half as sweet as Scotty, I hope Callie will love her (she does) (took a little while), and I hope she helps heal our hearts.  She had really helped with my depression.  It is demanding having a puppy, but she keeps me from crying all the time.  She makes me smile and laugh again.  Callie is doing wonderful.  She isn't the same dog she was before we lost Scotty, but is a happy dog again.  She was never a "lap dog", but has become much more affectionate and likes to lay next to my leg.  The puppy wants to play all the time, either with me or Callie.  I am making this too long, but our heart always has room for more love,  it is amazing.  There is a dog or cat out there that needs someone to take care of them, you know the unconditional love they give.  They will make you love them too.  It does get better and no other pet will ever replace them, but they can help you heal.  You know your "love" wouldn't want you to suffer so.    I made an account just to reply.  I hope would will feel less pain as each day goes by. 

[inoavandreser]

I feel the same, its been 5 days since my sweet angel Blue was killed by a car. I was calling him, and didn't see the car, he was coming to me. The pain is so great and so huge I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't drink, all i do is cry. My heart is broken and I'm not sure it will ever be ok again. My husband always joked that baby blue stole my heart, and I feel like he took it with him. Nothing really helps, my boss who is a psychologist came over yesterday and brought me some lorazapam and trazadone. The lorazapam helps stop me from screaming and whaling, which is kind of a nice break from just loosing it every second. I still cry but with less screaming when I'm on the pills, and the trazadone helped me to sleep through the night. I took my first shower today, i feel guilty that I can live and he's not, doing anything hurts me.  walking around my house, i can't do, everything reminds me of him, my husband had to move the tv into our bedroom, and i have to have it on all day and night incase i wake up. When there is silence i cannot deal with life.

I don't feel like I will ever be ok again, I know he knows I loved him and he was my prince, and i know he loved me, he was always by my side and he learned how to lean into my mouth kisses. I was the only one that could hold him like a baby and give him a million kisses and he would let me, he was my soulmate and the love of my life.

He left behind a little sister we got for him, she seems to be doing ok, and eating, but I think she wonders where he is, she loves to be around other pets. My husband and I are picking up a new little brother for her next week. But the idea of driving home with a little kitten breaks my heart, just reminds me of when I brought my bobo blue home. I will love this little guy too, and he is not to replace my little man,  he's for Sophie so she's not alone. I love all animals. I just don't think I will ever love a human or animal as much as blue.

I used to joke I loved Blue more than my husband, as much as  I love my great wonderful husband, I really did love Blue the most. 

I don't know how to live without my baby, this is just awful and it sucks.