Helpless Friend

[hurtingfriend]

Hi this is my first post. My storey is a little different to most poeple's. I met a guy at work and we dated on and off for a couple of years but never got serious. He was temporary and use to move around a bit. Anyway one day he told me he had Thyroid Cancer (at 28 ) and I was devastated. I was strong and positive for him but I was hurting inside. He had to have surgery followed by radiotherapy. I always was there for him and I knew he appreciated it. I admired his strength and attitude. So last Christmas we were texting and he told me he was gutted that we broke up before and that he was in love with me. I was shocked as I didn't think he was serious about me. I didn't really entertain the idea but I told him I would speak to him when next we met. Truth was I wasn't sure I was ready to get serious with him.  I didn't think he could provide the secruity I needed. Anyway time elapsed and we never spoke about it again.

He moved away with work. Contact grew less and less and I figured he had met someone new. Then last Friday I received news that his girlfriend of 6 months had died suddenly. He found her dead in her bed after she didn't show up for work. She was only 29. I contacted him immediately and he was appreciative of the call. I attended the funeral also. I was amazed at his strength.

I've told him to visit before he returns to work. I'm worried about him with Christmas and her birthday approaching. I hope it doesn't all get too much for him. I've tried to write several notes/cards to him but none seem right. I want to reach out to him but I don't know how. I don't want to make things worse for him. I don't want to look at him with pity and I'm sure he doesn't want that either. I want to be strong for him but find it really hard. Maybe I should leave him alone. Maybe some of you who are in his position and are experiencing what he is going through can help me. All I know is I feel devastated for him and I would do anything to help ease his pain. It is soul destroying to see him suffer.  He is such a nice guy.

Hurting Friend.