Lost my sister in a home accident, and now a friend lost her little girl.

[FSM]

I lost my sister in a drowning accident when I was 4 years old and she was 1.5 years old. I remember that day and I know that I was the last to be with her alive. I lost my memory since that day until 2 years later when my other sister was born. It's being hard but after 32 years you find a way to live.

Unfortunately the 4 months old little girl of a friend just died this week, under the nanny's watch, she felt in the stairs and hit her head. This has opened a lot of memories, hurt and fear in me.

My 3.5 year old son goes to school with the other son of my friend and I'm now 5 months pregnant, because of all this I just couldn't get myself to attend the memorial, I have been avoiding any type of contact with the rest of the mom's in my son's school just to not hear anything about it.

I just needed a place to vent all of this, I don't have close friends to talk to and Ithought that this group might help.