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New to grief and being without him


MrsCostigan

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Some days my chest feels tight like it's trying to squeeze into this hole in my heart. Trying to fill the void my husband left behind.

He was only 27. My heart aches for him. He died unexpectedly in a car accident 1 month and 1 day ago. I'm still counting the days. I'm struggling with everyday issues that normally wouldn't be too bad to deal with. We have a beautiful 1 1/2 year old girl and I'm certain she is the only thing keeping me sane.

I'm not sure why I came here. Comfort maybe, people to talk to who understand what I'm going through. I talk to our family but you never know what kind of day they're having. If even mentioning his name will send someone on a downward spiral or they are in the mood for fond memories. I have my moments too. Doesn't really matter if someone brings him up, I'm thinking of my sweet Mike constantly. I miss him dearly and I long for the day I see him again.

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My heart truly aches for you!  So young.... I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, and for the loss you are feeling right now.  My husband was 39 - still much to young to lose him, but not nearly as young as your Mike.  You are probably right about your little girl - she is giving you something to focus on and keep you moving and functioning.  I wish you comfort during this very difficult time.  Hang in there and take care of yourself and that baby.  Know your Mike is still with you and wishing he could take your pain away.  Even after a year and a half, I still talk to Daniel when I am sad, or need comfort or strength, or just missing him.  And I believe in some way he hears me. 

 

My thoughts are with you!

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MissingDaniel,

I am very sorry about your husband. 39 is also too young. I talk to Mike all the time. Tell him the little and big things about my day. Sometimes I even get angry with him. I know I shouldn't , he didn't want to leave. I curse at him for not wearing his seatbelt and for speeding. Then I feel guilty. I guess it's all part of grief... Rather unpleasant,to say the least. I hope you are getting by okay and you have wonderful people around you. This situation has definitely shown me the best in so many... And the worst in some. My condolences to you and your family.

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