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Jealous of people who still have both parents


Pinkbaggirl

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Sometimes I feel jealous of friends and cousins who still have both parents. Will I always feel jealous?

Grief sucks. Death is cruel. It is so hard being left behind.

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I am left with so much to say and so many regrets and yes to much jealousy that she has gone and I wanted more and even more time. Is there ever a good time for anybody you love to die. I suppose these things happen .I'm very sorry it happened to me and you.

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I am left with so much to say and so many regrets and yes to much jealousy that she has gone and I wanted more and even more time. Is there ever a good time for anybody you love to die. I suppose these things happen .I'm very sorry it happened to me and you.

Thanks for your reply. I, too, am left with so much I wanted to say. Even just to sit quietly in his company. When will the tears stop?

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I am left with so much to say and so many regrets and yes to much jealousy that she has gone and I wanted more and even more time. Is there ever a good time for anybody you love to die. I suppose these things happen .I'm very sorry it happened to me and you.

Thanks for your reply. I, too, am left with so much I wanted to say. Even just to sit quietly in his company. When will the tears stop?

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My friend just had a baby not too long ago..... and I see pictures of her with her baby and with her mom on facebook and her mom writing cute little comments about how precious she is and proud that she's a grandma......so yeah, I definitely get jealous of other people being able to have those experiences that I will never get to have. I doubt it will ever go away.

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My friend just had a baby not too long ago..... and I see pictures of her with her baby and with her mom on facebook and her mom writing cute little comments about how precious she is and proud that she's a grandma......so yeah, I definitely get jealous of other people being able to have those experiences that I will never get to have. I doubt it will ever go away.

I also feel sad that my dad will not get to spend time with my children.
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My friend just had a baby not too long ago..... and I see pictures of her with her baby and with her mom on facebook and her mom writing cute little comments about how precious she is and proud that she's a grandma......so yeah, I definitely get jealous of other people being able to have those experiences that I will never get to have. I doubt it will ever go away.

I also feel sad that my dad will not get to spend time with my children.
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My husband still has both parents and when he whines about his dad I just want to scream don't you know how lucky you are?? My dad died when I was 4, 3 years later mom remarried and I lost him in 2011. Mom died September 15 and I'm so lost. I hate when hubby even talks to his mom cause I know I can't talk to mine again. Just sucks and now I'm sitting at work dealing with the beginnings of a panic attack. I want my mommy and that will never happen :-(

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Butterfly 789

I feel the exact same way. I feel so ashamed, but it is this utter feeling of isolation that is indescribable. Please tell me that this will get better. I am so lost right now.

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Dear Butterfly 789,

I wish I could tell you feelings of isolation get better.  They haven't for me.  Maybe in time?  Years?  Who knows?  People who have been through it and come through the other side.  Sorry for your loss.

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I, too, can relate to this topic.  I have lost both my parents - my Mum passed away in February.  What I wouldn't give to be able to just pick up the telephone and call her! We take so much for granted. I am happy for people who still have one or both parents living, but I am also envious.

What makes it a thousand times worse is that my partner still has both his parents, but is estranged from both of them.  His parents are divorced, and, for reasons I won't get into here, he hasn't spoken to his father in years.  Two years ago, his mother, who lives in the UK, flew out here for a visit.  They had a huge argument, and he hasn't spoken to her since.

I know he had a horrendous childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse and, having being brought up in a loving, safe environment, it's hard for me to understand what he has gone through and why he isn't on speaking terms with his Mum.  I have always had a great relationship with her, but  now I feel I am missing out by not being able to chat with her because of him.  I love my partner to bits, don't get me wrong.  I guess that after I lost my Mum, I thought it might have made him realise how short life is and how lucky he is to still have her.  I really believed he would make up with her, even for my sake.  Why should I give up the bond with his mother because he can't deal with it?? Because of his stubborn pride and his attitude, I feel like I have lost two mothers, and it's tearing me up inside.

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Hi Ella,
Are you able to get your partner to go see someone about his childhood issues. Often, we blame our parents for our childhood because we we look at the situation from our own perspective without considering what our parent/s had to go through.
Someone was telling me recently about his father. His father was abusive and a drunk. When he left (divorce), this guy just wrote him off as dead. he didn't want to know his father. He hated his father.
But then, long, long, long time later, he did some personal development work on himself and changed his perspective from what his father did to him and his mother and sister, to looking at what his father had to go through and understanding why he was violent and drunk.
With this different perspective, he was able to forgive his father and have a relationship with him.
Without knowing details, perhaps your partner blames his mother for whatever happened when he was a child. If he looked at the situation from his mother's perspective, maybe he can see a different picture that can enable him to forgive his mother. Afterall, parents are human too and they make mistakes just like us.
I'm just guessing.I don't know.
Another thought is that you can always send your mother-in-law a Christmas card. Are you able to have a relationship with your MIL despite your partner. You sound as though you get along. She maybe hurting too and sending her a Christmas card can be a soothing balm to a mother who has lost her relationship with her son.

Back on topic, I'm sorry for your loss. I too have lost both parents. It suxs. It's been nearly 2 years for me now and how I wish I could wind back the clock.

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Pinkbaggirl,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I felt the same way when my dad passed 47 years ago. I was so envious of friends that had both parents. Back then most did, so it was hard. Guys I dated, my first husband had both their parents. My mom just passed last year still going through all the firsts. I did get over it or at least it got easier. One thing I learned is at some point we will all loose our parents. We all have different relationships with our parents. Some people may have both parents but it was not always the best relationship. So even though my dad died when I was a teenager and he missed out on so much we had a loving relationship and I do have good memories and had a wonderful childhood. I'm so thankful for that and as much as I miss my parents like crazy and I always will no matter how much time passes, the memories help some days to get me through the rough times. It is hard to no be able to call my mom, or hop in the car and go visit her to share in good or bad things that are going on, look at pics talk about the good old days. Now all I have is pictures memories!  I miss moms smile, her jokes, our walks, sitting and just enjoying being together, her hugs and kisses and her telling me she loves me and me saying it back.

death of a loved one sucks no matter what. Now I might be envious of friends that still have parents although right now there aren't many but I'm happy for them to still be so blessed. When we talk I tell them to enjoy every day cause one day they won't be here.

Kathy

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Yes, I do feel very envious of others who have parents. I lost my mom in 2014 and it is still hard. I never had my dad around so I feel like an orphan. I hear people complain about their parents and get angry. I was an only child and just 35 with no mom or dad to lean on. 

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TafadzwaMacDSigauke

I recently lost my mother last Christmas. She was 50. I lost my dad when I was 5. I'm an only child. I'm extremely grateful to the Lord Almighty that I was blessed with Extremely hard working, loving, focused parents who understood the meaning of life, giving it a purpose, to seek and live for the good and pass on a legacy to the coming generations as we make the world a better world. The circumstances surrounding my parents' death were both intense but all has taught me to stick to the word of God, trust only yourself and only surround yourself with people that genuinely care/love you. My mother's family side lied and spread rumors that I take drugs, when in actual fact I have never even done so and my mother died knowing so. I took care of my mother, I am forever grateful of the time I had with her. I am just who l am  today because of her. My father had an Eye, blessed with the ability to see the heart itself, that's why she ended up with my mother. A warrior, a fighter, she made the world a better place!. I will work going forward with the Legacy and make the world a better place!. I plan on starting  a company in their honor. A company that will aim on making the world a better place.

Rest in Peace Beatrice Sigauke Nee Lukuluba and Themba Sigauke

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I still have my father. A couple of months ago, I was in a store and a mom and a daughter of my age were doing some shopping, like her mom was helping her choose some house stuff for her new appartment... I felt jealous and also kind of like an intruder on their scene.

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On 9/19/2014 at 8:34 PM, around_here11 said:

My friend just had a baby not too long ago..... and I see pictures of her with her baby and with her mom on facebook and her mom writing cute little comments about how precious she is and proud that she's a grandma......so yeah, I definitely get jealous of other people being able to have those experiences that I will never get to have. I doubt it will ever go away.

I struggle with that. My mom will never get to be excited w me nor meet her grandchildren. And she would have been the most amazing grandma... I am crying just typing this. I am dreading mothers day this year. 

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On 3/13/2022 at 5:44 AM, Ksbe said:

I struggle with that. My mom will never get to be excited w me nor meet her grandchildren. And she would have been the most amazing grandma... I am crying just typing this. I am dreading mothers day this year. 

I'm so sorry, I'm sending you hugs 💗🤗

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