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My mother is dying


fifthchild

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I know everyone suffers loss but this is terribly hard on me, I already deal with debilitating depression and hearing my 73 yr old mother, who is brilliant and has such an interest in life, learning she has a few months left is tearing me up. I lost my dad when I was 17 and that was incredibly hard but this I feel like will be the end of me. I lost a sister this past February and something told me my mom wouldn't be too far behind. My mother is a proud person and I'm not sure what I might do or say that she might get offendedor annoyed at so I haven't called her.She livesout of state. I have an older sister who is taking care of the situation so I'm lucky for that but I'm also afraid of choking up if I were to call her. I have Xanax to take but it only puts me to sleep and doesn't help me feel any better. I'm so depressed it's hard for me to even type this much less check for errors. I just wanted to put this out there.

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I'm so sorry for you and your mom, but it seems like you should talk to her while she's able. My mom was just put on hospice, but I can't seem to repair our relationship before she passes. I know how awful I'm going to feel when she dies, but I can't force her to have a relationship with me.

Also, I'm not a doctor, but watch out for Xanax!! Maybe you could ask your doctor if you can take a smaller dose. Or if it's medically permissible to only take a half or even a quarter of a Xanax. Maybe that would help you relax without falling asleep. Xanax is a strong and addictive medication which I'm sure you already know...

I'm so very sorry that you're losing your mom. And while you are fortunate that your sister is able to be with her, I'm sure your mom would love to hear your voice. Maybe you could write yourself a "cheat sheet" with guidelines of safe or neutral topics.

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