Lost my little lovw

[xanthea427]

I am new to this whole discussing this with outside individuals but I am seriously struggling with the loss of my little doggie. Forgive me but I always refer to our dogs as little doggies. She was one of those dogs that just stole my heart as soon as I saw her. We got her when she was 10 wks. old and dealt with some serious health issues at the age of 5 and 6, but then I discovered that she also had a heart murmur. This led to congestive heart failure and meds for that. She wasn't doing really bad on that medication regimen until she developed a tumor near her left eye. The vet, bless his heart, tried all he could to make sure that it wasn't an abscess but it was also a priority on my end to make sure she did not suffer and endure things that might not be helping. Recently, about two weeks ago, after a shot that helped for a few days, that tumor spread rapidly (it was on the top of her head and near her left eye and then grew to include her head and the right eye) as it moved. We decided to put her to sleep and she was 12 years old. Some might say that I should have had the tumor removed but my vet also told me that he had a dog that had this same type of thing and after removing as much of the tumor (cannot get it all due to the location) that another tumor surfaced that killed the same dog 6 wks later, and that sounded cruel of me to put her through. I am only giving the gist of this so you can understand that I absolutely adored this little love. I am the only person who could leave the house and she would sit on the bench on the back porch until I came home and my husband used to try to get her to come in and she just had to wait for her momma. She was the love of my heart when it came to how I felt about her and I always told people it's like I could have gave birth to this little love (just an expression of my love)

 

I know that what I am feeling is normal but I am struggling with trying to do things daily and we have another little dog that is also very much of my little love and he needs me too. This is so difficult and the other little doggie keeps coming to see how I am, bless his heart, but I have to make sure he's okay too as his little lifetime companion is now gone. I keep looking online and found this site so figured that maybe if I just put it out here it might help to just tell someone else who isn't part of this family or neighborhood exactly how hard this is for me. It's only been two days and I am missing her like I cannot quite believe. I keep looking for her, knowing she isn't here, but forgetting that when I get up the little stinker is gone. I apologize for rambling but I have never experienced something that is so devastating to my daily life and I miss this little girl so bad that I almost cannot stand it. I know this is just part of it but thanks for listening and understanding and anyone who has to go through this process has my deepest sympathy for the loss of our little loves. 

[ModKonnie]

Xanthea427,

I am very sorry about the loss of your little doggie. Losing a fur baby is painful, and not only for you, but for the rest of the fur family, too. I know this doesn't help much, but it will get better in time. Don't forget to pay a little more attention to your other little doggie; he's probably confused.

 

You aren't rambling at all. Do you have any pictures?

 

ModKonnie