9 months after losing my cat, got another; but I only miss her more

[apaul001]

I lost my beloved cat of 19 years on November 6, 2013, and not a day has gone by that I haven't missed her.  My husband and kids agreed with me that one day we would get another cat, but they said they would take their cue from me as to when, since Maven was primarily my cat.  (I had already had her for 10 years when I married my husband.)

 

Very easily, we found Auggie and we knew we wanted him.  It only took a couple of hours looking at Petfinder.com to decide which cats to inquire about, and after a couple of dead ends I spoke to Auggie's foster mom.  My son and daughter went with me to meet him the same day and after a brief meeting and discussion with the foster mom, I signed the papers.  Auggie was everything the foster mom told us he would be:  he has an extra loud purr, loves to head butt, will wrap his paws around your neck when you're holding him.  Two days later, he is ours.  He is adjusting extremely well; the introduction to our dog even went smoothly.

 

The problem is, I see Maven everywhere and I am right back to the mess I was for weeks right after she died. Right after Maven was euthanized my husband and I heard the song "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan on the radio and now that song always makes me think of Maven.  Well, last night it just started playing on some website the kids were looking at.  Then I started feeling guilty because it's been a long time since I lit a virtual candle on the pet crematorium's website, while there is another cat who died the same month as Maven and that owner is still posting weekly.  And I continuously worry about Auggie:  what if he gets out and disappears?  What if he gets sick and we have to go through another pet loss when we're least prepared?  I am questioning whether I waited long enough to get another cat, but I just felt that I didn't want the house to be without a cat any longer.

[ModKonnie]

Apaul,

Only you can decide if you've waited long enough. When my beloved first cat died, I vowed never to get another cat. But my house was lonely without any fur babies. I ended up adopting two a year later, and then we've had a steady stream of outdoor cats we've fed and found homes for. I still miss my Emmy (and she's been gone along time), but I am so thankful I've had the love and memories of many other fur babies.

I hate when they have to leave me, but I cherish the time I have with them.

I hope this helps,

ModKonnie

[xanthea427]

I am so new to this but I totally understand that even when getting another pet it might bring up memories of the one we lost. My husband keeps saying that he knows me and that I am going to want a puppy but I don't know if I can do it for quite a while. It's only been two days since we had to put my little love to sleep so I totally get the whole thing about being back to a mess like after your Maven was gone. I think this pet loss grief is worse, as far as I'm concerned, and I hope that you will not feel quilty and just realize that sometimes we move on in different ways and just because you hadn't been lighting a virtual candle does not mean your love and loss is not still a part of you. Guilt is one of the worst things we do to ourselves but hang in there. I realize, even this early in my own grief, that regardless of the circumstances, each time I get another dog, more than likely I will outlive that doggie. That's one of those things that we really cannot change as our life spans are so much longer, normally, than theirs. I will keep you in my thoughts and I wish you the best and will send the best thoughts your way.