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Devestatedfather

Custody and divorce

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Hi all I need help.

I was married 10 yrs and I have a beautiful 22 month old daughter who is my life. My wife told me she never loved me and only wants to allow me 3 days a month of custody. She makes twice as much as me so I will lose a court battle financially but I will die without my daughter. She was my dream for so long and now my marriage, house and of course daughter are being taken away.

How do I continue to live?..

Pls help anyone

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Hello Devastatedfather,

 

I want to hope that since the time you posted, things may have gotten better.  If not, I hope what I have to say may encourage you to keep on going not just for your own sake but for the sake of your daughter. At the time of your post you indicated that your wife told you that she never loved you. Devastatedfather, when you first met your wife can you recall how you two felt about one another? Did it seem to you that she didn’t love you? I find that hard to believe. At one time or another, perhaps she did love you and for whatever reason her love for you cooled off. But perhaps her love for you can be rekindled? Especially for a marriage lasting 10 years, that is a long time not to have feelings for  The pressures of the world we live in make it very difficult for families to survive and stick together.  Regardless Devastatedfather, don’t give up on life.  As you have indicated, she only wants to allow you three days a month of custody and because she makes twice as much as you, you feel you may lose a court battle financially.  I know this can be heartbreaking to you and I am hoping that from the time of your posting this, perhaps circumstances may have changed allowing you to see your daughter more often but if it has not, Devastatedfather remember that the one thing that the judicial system cannot take from you is your status of being Daddy!  How you continue to live is to remember your daughter everytime you question how you are suppose to live on.  Your daughter will not stay 22 months forever.  She will continue to grow and mature but she needs her father’s support to stay balance and strong as she grows and knows that you are there even if there is a decision of three days a month of custody. You make those three days count and remind your daughter during those limited times that you love her very much.  She will understand as she grows that you are there for her and always have been and will be but the system has caused a circumstance that is beyond your control. But despite the limited circumstances she will know that daddy has always been there for her. Devastated father, I want to leave you with a scripture that can console you thru your difficult circumstance.  2 Corinthians 1:3,4: “Praised be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trials so that we may be able to comfort others in any sort of trial with the comfort that we receive from God.” Know that you can always draw comfort from God through any trial you are facing.  Take care Devastatedfather.

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Hi devastated father, that I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You are certainly entitled to more than three days a month of child custody! 

I found this post about how to negotiate that helped me recently, maybe it will help you as well. https://blog.thistoo.co/blog/2016/6/17/how-to-negotiate-with-your-spouse

I hope this gets resolved soon. Stay safe and surround yourself with loved ones, always. Peace.

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I was married for 13 years. I was divorced in July. I've had some help from a guy who literally found me smoking on the stairs to my new apartment. He made me dinner and took me to baseball games. Said he's been there and just wants to help others out. 

The pain hasn't stopped. But it has eased. He told me several things that helped. One was that you will always be your child's father. He drove 18 hours every other weekend to spend a night and a day with his children. They call him daddy still and have never left him in their hearts. The other thing he said was that girls will behave like their dad and that's why it's important for us to be honorable men. Even when our time is so limited. 

I don't know if this helps. I'm not sure it has helped me yet, but I keep thinking about it. 

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Hi. I hope that I am not too late in providing you with a solution. Divorce and child custody is not at all easy. I have seen my friend suffering from divorce. The divorce was easy after he hired the services of the advocate Bechara Tarabay. The lawyer Bechara Tarabay is a lawyer from France who helped my friend with divorce and custody. The best thing that a person can do after divorce is to keep himself engaged in different activities so that he stay away from the stress of divorce and custody.

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