Members Britt Posted July 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 Exactly one month ago today, I lost my older step-brother Ryan at the age of 26. I was calling my step-father to wish him a Happy Father's Day when I received the awful news. My step-brother died from an accidental heroin overdose that appears to have mixed with a sleeping pill prescription. Ryan served in the U.S. Army. After returning from his tour in the Middle East, Ryan struggled with PTSD and back pain. After a back procedure, he became addicted to pain pills, which eventually led to his addiction to heroin. My family and I watched my brother change from such a happy, wholesome individual to a addicted, destructive man within a matter of five years. It has been extremely painful watching such a wonderful person go down a dangerous path. I have so many mixed emotions. My heart is completely broken. I feel confused, sad, angry, abandoned. Ryan had been sober for 18 months. It appears his first "slip" was on June 15, the night of his death. Ryan had been doing so well. He had been clean, had a stable full-time job, and was repairing relationships with all the people who have always loved and supported him over the years. This and for so many reasons is why my family is so heart broken and shocked by his death. Hundreds and hundreds of people showed up to Ryan's funeral; a true testament to the amazing person that he was. I can't believe it's only been one month. Is it normal for it to feel like it's been years? I just want to hug him. I would greatly appreciate any resources anyone in this situation has found to be helpful. I have a older sister (24) and younger brother (18) who are as devastated as I am. We have never experienced anything close to this and putting our brother to rest last month was unbearable. Any advice would be much appreciated. Please keep my family and I in your prayers,Britt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tmh24 Posted July 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 My brother died, too, less than a month ago, of the same thing. It's so terribly tragic. Saying a prayer for you and your family. My brother was in an out of rehabs and had bouts of sobriety. But the ugly disease that is addiction never goes away. They are addicts forever and can relapse at any time. I don't think they are ever really in control. The drug is. They're in a much better place now where they have no worries or fears of relapse, and don't feel the pain of addiction. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Imp Posted July 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 Hi Britt, I fully understand how you are feeling. I lost my little brother in somewhat the same circumstances. Just a few short months ago. The mixed feelings are indescribable and can leave you feeling broken and exhausted. I wish I could offer great advice and a way to make things better, but I don't think there is one set path that works for us all. I found a sort of peace here, just being able to express my feelings without the worry of upsetting my family. It has helped me. Since Minnesota is a little far for me to offer a shoulder or hug. I'll offer a friendly ear. So if you ever need somebody to just listen or as it is, write to. Feel very welcome to do so. Take care of yourself and my heart goes to you and your family at this sad time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sadsister1 Posted February 5, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2015 Britt I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through what I have gone through. My brother passed away April of 2014. so like you we had our first christmas without him this year.... all those first times and the empty feeling that can not be filled with anything. All we can think about is how we want him back. It never gets easier, we just learn to live with it. I have a garden where I sit and think about my brother. I try to allow myself time to do that and then I go on with my day. My brother would not want me to be sad all the time. I really believe that my brothers spirit lives in other forms. I hear birds chirping and I think of him. I listen and look for signs of him. I know this all sounds crazy but it is how I have learned to live with him not being here anymore. I will be thinking about you and your family. I hope that you find peace. send me a message anytime. much love, sadsister1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sadsister1 Posted February 5, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2015 Britt I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through what I have gone through. My brother passed away April of 2014. so like you we had our first christmas without him this year.... all those first times and the empty feeling that can not be filled with anything. All we can think about is how we want him back. It never gets easier, we just learn to live with it. I have a garden where I sit and think about my brother. I try to allow myself time to do that and then I go on with my day. My brother would not want me to be sad all the time. I really believe that my brothers spirit lives in other forms. I hear birds chirping and I think of him. I listen and look for signs of him. I know this all sounds crazy but it is how I have learned to live with him not being here anymore. I will be thinking about you and your family. I hope that you find peace. send me a message anytime. much love, sadsister1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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