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Losing a Husband


Yasmin.Ali

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53 Days ago... I lost my husband 

 

My precious husband, No-one can replace him.
My partner for 24 years died at th2 age of 72, it's 53 days since he left me. The pain doesnt subside, the pain and tears keep coming more everyday. Everything i see reminds me of him. Everything i eat reminds me of him. His memory is everywhere in this home. He was so active and healthy, then he suddenly died of heart failure and liver failure. He was my comfort when i lost my first husband to liver cirrhosis. Then in 1993 we lost our first child, he was my comfort. Now that he is gone, who is my comfort. Two hours before i saw him, even though his feet were cold and he stood still, i still believed in my heart and in God that he would return home from the hospital. I told him I made his bed and cleaned the room and the children and I would be waiting for him. He gave me and the children so many years of happiness. The only comfort i have is knowing that he knew how much i loved him and how much his children loved him because we showed him and told him all the time. While he was in the hospital i would sing for him "happy journey" by Hank Locklin, now every night i still sing for him...Happy journey happy journey don't forget the one who love you so, I'll be lonely waiting just for you I'll be patient and forever true, Happy journey happy journey darling till that day,When you'll be coming back to stay...
I keep questioning God, Why couldnt he stay with me just a little longer. 
Nothing in this world can replace the happiness he gave me.

He was always so contented, he never complained.

Yesterday i went into the store room where he kept his clothes he would use to cut the lawn, his scent and presence was so strong, my grief started all over again.

I played a song he liked by Everly Brothers, dream dream dream... anything to feel his presence

I cant face the supermarkets or church, i cant watch movies or cook things i knew he loved.

The grief feels like it has no end. None of my friends or sisters can understand how i feel because they never lost a husband.

Everyday i question God, why , my two husbands, my son, then my mother and my father.

I still have my children, Sometimes they try to tell me jokes to make me laugh but all my humor is gone.

He kept devoted to Jesus till his last breath and he died a christian and with all of our prayers... this is my only comfort, this is all i have,

I want to say thanks to all the women who shared their stories, it helps me so much.

I appreciate any words of advise and encouragement 

Thank you all.
God Bless you !

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It's horrible isn't it?  I lost my husband on 1/4/13.  It has been a year and a half of the most horrible time I have ever spent on this earth. Yes, it does get easier and yes, we do tend to move on but it just isn't the same without them.  My husband was my once in a lifetime love and I miss him so much.  Welcome to our group, you will find comfort here.

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It's horrible isn't it?  I lost my husband on 1/4/13.  It has been a year and a half of the most horrible time I have ever spent on this earth. Yes, it does get easier and yes, we do tend to move on but it just isn't the same without them.  My husband was my once in a lifetime love and I miss him so much.  Welcome to our group, you will find comfort here.

 

Yes Jude, it's horrible and even as many days passed it doesnt get much easier to forget. Someone as close and precious as a spouse, leaves too many memories that makes it hard to accept they are just gone. It's so hard going out and seeing other couples together. The small things we shared together will never be the same, as simple as a trip to the grocery or supermarket. 

Thank you for welcoming me. It's nice to hear that it had gotten easier for you, i hope sooner or later i can experience that.

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Hello Ali!

 

We have something in common - I too have lost two husbands. After the loss of my first husband I pretty much threw God out of my life. I had prayed and begged and pleaded for God to save him - it was 7 years of ever spiraling downward illness for him. Looking back I realized that I had never grown in my faith - at that time I still had a very child-like faith. I wanted God to do what I wanted. After an incredibly painful 2 plus years following his death I gradually came back to God with a commitment to learn more about Him. My second husband was a Christian and together over our 18 years together we learned and grew. When he suddenly, and unexpectedly, died of a massive heart attack I was devastated. I kept waiting for the same wave of grief to knock me over. I did weep, cry, have trouble sleeping and eating, became depressed - but nothing even close to the depths of despair I hit without God in my grief. I am 1.5 years out from my second loss. There are still days I am sad, but the sting is not there. I lean on that strong thread of comfort - my beloved is with God, he has graduated, he is at the next step in the life God created us for. It gives me such comfort - the only comfort in this sea of loss.

 

I have just published a book about this journey, aptly titled: Journeys Through Grief: With and Without God. It is available through amazon.com. 

 

I would love to talk with you - perhaps skype? 

 

Blessings for you Ali in your journey.

patsharpphd@gmail.com

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Hello Ali!

 

We have something in common - I too have lost two husbands. After the loss of my first husband I pretty much threw God out of my life. I had prayed and begged and pleaded for God to save him - it was 7 years of ever spiraling downward illness for him. Looking back I realized that I had never grown in my faith - at that time I still had a very child-like faith. I wanted God to do what I wanted. After an incredibly painful 2 plus years following his death I gradually came back to God with a commitment to learn more about Him. My second husband was a Christian and together over our 18 years together we learned and grew. When he suddenly, and unexpectedly, died of a massive heart attack I was devastated. I kept waiting for the same wave of grief to knock me over. I did weep, cry, have trouble sleeping and eating, became depressed - but nothing even close to the depths of despair I hit without God in my grief. I am 1.5 years out from my second loss. There are still days I am sad, but the sting is not there. I lean on that strong thread of comfort - my beloved is with God, he has graduated, he is at the next step in the life God created us for. It gives me such comfort - the only comfort in this sea of loss.

 

I have just published a book about this journey, aptly titled: Journeys Through Grief: With and Without God. It is available through amazon.com. 

 

I would love to talk with you - perhaps skype? 

 

Blessings for you Ali in your journey.

patsharpphd@gmail.com

 

 

Hello Ali!

 

We have something in common - I too have lost two husbands. After the loss of my first husband I pretty much threw God out of my life. I had prayed and begged and pleaded for God to save him - it was 7 years of ever spiraling downward illness for him. Looking back I realized that I had never grown in my faith - at that time I still had a very child-like faith. I wanted God to do what I wanted. After an incredibly painful 2 plus years following his death I gradually came back to God with a commitment to learn more about Him. My second husband was a Christian and together over our 18 years together we learned and grew. When he suddenly, and unexpectedly, died of a massive heart attack I was devastated. I kept waiting for the same wave of grief to knock me over. I did weep, cry, have trouble sleeping and eating, became depressed - but nothing even close to the depths of despair I hit without God in my grief. I am 1.5 years out from my second loss. There are still days I am sad, but the sting is not there. I lean on that strong thread of comfort - my beloved is with God, he has graduated, he is at the next step in the life God created us for. It gives me such comfort - the only comfort in this sea of loss.

 

I have just published a book about this journey, aptly titled: Journeys Through Grief: With and Without God. It is available through amazon.com. 

 

I would love to talk with you - perhaps skype? 

 

Blessings for you Ali in your journey.

patsharpphd@gmail.com

 

Hello Pat,

Thank you for your encouraging messaging.

It's sad to hear about your story of losing two husbands because i have experienced the sadness and difficulties that comes with that.

I know the hurt you went through. I also questioned God so many time, even being a strong christian, i question his mercy and even sometimes his existence. I would travel back in my mind to when my last husband died and always ask myself, what if i took him to a different doctor or what if i did something differently. After almost 56 days now, the reality is still hard to accept.

 

Thank you very much for offering to talk with me via skype, it would really help to talk with someone who can empathize with me because you have been in the same situation

 

Thank you for email, i will send you my skype.

 

God Bless you

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