Members Mad_Dog Posted May 26, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 My Ollie was murdered by another dog 2 weeks ago. He was 9 years old in doggy years. I am 21. He was my best friend and I was his. I got the justice that I wanted: Dad shot the dog that killed mine. In the stomach... I miss him so much... Some days I'm okay and others it's like I don't even wanna breathe because it is so much effort. I honestly feel like I need therapy because his death has effected (?) me so badly. I've never been this bad off before... It was so bad at the beginning that I had to take nerve pills twice a day. I just want to heal. I almost had a meltdown in Books-A-Million today. Was skimming through a book on grief and death and healing... I have a Heart Kitty also. She's my daughter and her name is Daisy. She is 7. I know I need to focus my attention on her but it's difficult. I know she's hurting too. He was just trying to protect the house... I had a premonition of his death. My thought was "I hope they have squirrels in Heaven that he can chase." That was it. Out of the blue. I knew something was wrong... And when we got home he was nowhere to be found, then they came in and daddy had his hand over his mouth and his face was red and all he said was "Oliver"... God I miss that damn dog so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heartlight Posted May 26, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 I'm so sorry about your Ollie Someone gave me some words one time that I would like to give to you. I have also had the experience of a premonition when someone died. It was a co-worker and as I left the building for the night, I had a thought about his death. I am not a morbid person and did not have any thoughts about death at that time of my life so it was very unusual; however, I brushed it off as just some random, morbid thought. The next morning, I was woken by a telephone call from my boss telling me that this co-worker had died during the night. I was extremely angry because I hadn't listened to myself and gone to talk to him or been able to even attempt change the evening's events. I told a friend of mine about how angry I was. "Oh, no," she said, "If you had that kind of thought what that means to me is that you were connected on such a deep level that his transition was completely peaceful. On some level, you were able to help him prepare and make his transition easier than he would have." That gave me comfort because having the thought was truly unique and if there was even a tiny piece of me that made his death more peaceful, I was willing to suffer the anguish that I had over not knowing. We never get to know when our friends or family are going to leave this earth. Maybe it is the same for you and Ollie? Maybe you were so connected that you were a buffer for him and made it so he was able to not experience pain or fear in his last hours? This existence is largely unknown so maybe? It is going to be a difficult time for you, regardless, so please understand that what you are feeling is natural. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to feel the feelings of love and loss, imagine the squirrels when you think about Ollie. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mad_Dog Posted May 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Thank you. Your words really helped me. We were very connected, yes. I had not thought anything about him prior. It was just a flash of a thought, I even said it our loud to myself. Forgot to add something... A few days ago, I saw him. I turned to go in the bathroom and I saw his fat form turn and walk down the hall. I looked and he disappeared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heartlight Posted May 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Hi again, Mad_Dog, I'm glad that you were able to gain some comfort. I know that it can come and go but do try to hold onto those moments. I have one similar of my cat... I felt him jumping on my bed. Being open for those moments and remembering your connection will do much to comfort you during the difficult times. Hold onto your feeling of that connection with Ollie because some day your memories will not be as painful but, instead, full of love that you had this most special relationship. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mad_Dog Posted May 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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