Members Kellie86 Posted May 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2014 This will be a lengthy post but a very worthwhile read for anyone who has lost a sibling. As some of you may know, I lost my only brother Riley to an accidental heroin overdose on January 26, 2014. I was having a terrible day yesterday, my birthday, crying all day and missing Riley so much. I reached out to a family friend, Ryan, as I had done a number of times over the past three months. To me, Ryan is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to sibling grief as he too lost his only brother Brennan ten years ago to an apparent suicide. I wanted to know when this devestating feeling would leave my chest. I had to vent to him that it hurt so much that no one seemed to understand. I told him it felt as if people thought I should be moving on by now, as if my grief over losing my brother wasn't warranted in their eyes. His response was so touching and so full of positivity and hope that I had to share it with you. He said: "Hey Kell!What you're going through, the experience that we unfortunately share will make you feel isolated and sometimes alone because our friends may feel that way. But it's a pain that they CAN'T understand. Like you said, it's something we wouldn't want them too. I felt that way and the way I handled it was to isolate myself and try to go it alone. I lost many friends doing it that way and Brennan's death became a crutch for me. My advice is don't do what I did. Find the friend you can open up to. Again, these are tough days for you. This won't happen all the time, but when it does, rely on that friend in those moments. Riley will greet you with wide open arms when it's your time to go. He's your personal angel. Live your life in such a way that will make him proud. Live it for a very long time. We're given these lives and experiences because it's only us who can handle them. In a weird and twisted way, it makes us special. It's going to forge a strength, an understanding and eventually a calmness incomparable to most. You're on a journey chicky and although horrible, it's yours only. You'll get through because I got through. You're a stronger person than me and I made it. I have 3 beautiful kids and a wonderful (soon to be) wife. Although my life was robbed of one irreplaceable love I found 4 more. Life gives and life takes. Although life took from you this time, it still has so much more to give you. You're an incredible person Kell. You will get through this." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hurting sister Posted June 24, 2014 Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Thank you for sharing your friends words. It is a pain that no one really can understand unless you have been through it. My brother committed suicide May 2nd and the pain is so unbearable at times that it is hard to breathe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kellie86 Posted June 25, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Thank you for sharing your friends words. It is a pain that no one really can understand unless you have been through it. My brother committed suicide May 2nd and the pain is so unbearable at times that it is hard to breathe.I am truly sorry to hear that, my heart breaks for you. The pain really is unbearable at times. It's been five months now since I lost my brother. Every day is **** but some days are less shitty than others. I have those days where I can't stop crying and the pain consumes me but the time in between those days is getting longer. In that way, it does get easier. But the reality of the loss hits me at some point every day and my stomach drops and I get heart palpitations and it's hard to breathe. But the feeling passes. I wish my response could be more positive but this is still new for me too. I promise you, I am in a much better place today than I was a few months ago. I don't know how I got through those first few weeks and months but I did, and you will too.I'm thinking of you. Message me if you ever want to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angelpur Posted February 21, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2015 Thanks Kellie for your post. I'm 10 days into my living nightmare; I was robbed of my younger sister due to a faulty boiler and carbon monoxide poisoning. It truly feels like the world has ended yet I think I'm only scratching the surface of the grief that's to come; currently I'm still in shock/disbelief and can get through hours at a time feeling numb. I'll follow the advice your friend gave you. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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