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lillysnana

Lost my 5 yr old Granddaughter

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Hello. I am new here. I came here seeking support. Our story is a long one. To shorten it, our grandchildren were placed with an adoptive family two years ago. It was suppose to be an open adoption, it wasnt.  Our nightmare began 5 days ago when an "accident" happened in the middle of the night. By the time our granddaughter got to the hospital she was brain dead. The adoptive family wasted no time pulling the plug. To compound our story even further it is supected there may have been foul play on their part and our other grandchildren were removed from their home.

I am so angry. Angry when I see the conditions my grandchildren were subjected to and knowing some of those ultimatly likely led to her death. I am just so sad. My God how my heart hurts. I lost them once to adoption and now to death and being seperated into a different foster home where their world is again turned upside down.

How in the world do I cope, being denied the ability to be with her when she drew her last breaths, I felt so cheated. I just want someone to pay for what they did to my precious beauty. How can I go on without her? My mind keeps replaying everything I have learned about that awful night over and over in my head like a movie that is stuck on repeat. I keep thinking how she did not deserve this. No child deserves to die, Death is for old folks not sweet, innocent and beautiful little children like her. I loved her as though she were my own. I would have given my soul for her. I cannot stop thinking about what she may have endured during her final days with this so called "family". There were signs, the school saw them, other folks saw the signs, yet nobody did anything to help them and now she is dead. I can never get her back. I can never see her sweet little smile or hear her laughter or hear her say "Gwamma, I love you!". I cant believe she is really gone. My daughter (her birth mother) is absolutley devestated, you trust someone with the lives of your children because you want better for them than you are able to give and then they do this. The system failed us miserably and our granddaughter paid the ultimate price. How can we live with ourselves now?

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I am so sorry for your loss. Death at any age is difficult to handle for loved ones left behind.  I truly hope that they will get down to the bottom of what really happened to your granddaughter. Please come and join us on the loss of adult site. We have other parents who have lost younger children. This is not a time to be on your own. You will be given support and comfort. Thinking of you.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Death at any age is difficult to handle for loved ones left behind.  I truly hope that they will get down to the bottom of what really happened to your granddaughter. Please come and join us on the loss of adult site. We have other parents who have lost younger children. This is not a time to be on your own. You will be given support and comfort. Thinking of you.

Thank you Kate. Where is the site you mention?

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Lillys nana, I am sorry for the loss of your grandaughter...it is so heartbreaking to hear that story...

 

The "site" that Kate mentioned is another thread in the Loss of a Child section, the thread's title is Loss of an Adult Child.

 

Here is a direct link to the thread

 

http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/topic/41-loss-of-an-adult-child/

 

The Loss of an Adult Child thread is pretty active...

 

Sending prayers and hugs....

 

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Hi Lily's Nana,

 

So sorry for your loss. I also lost my 5 year old girl to cancer and it's really hard to continue this life without the innocent and loving person who gives us hope and strength to continue each day.

 

Please pray and pray to God to give you strength to hold on to your life. I receive comfort in having dreams with my daughter and in the hope that one day, I will be with her again.

 

Prayers and hugs to you,

 

 

Kylie's Mommy- Mommy Cherry

 

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amsosad   

It is really tough to lose a child of any age.  It is something that changes you.  You carry that child with you in your heart for the rest of your life.  My daughter was in a terrible auto accident with her father at Christmas time.  He died instantly, she had brain damage and died the next day.  She was 17.  There is no way to explain the pain and agony of walking forward in life without the delight and future of your daughter (or granddaughter in your case).  There is so much I would love to say to you.  I just published a book "I'm Suffering... Please Help Me: Learning to Care for the Alone and Hurting".  It took me a long time to get better.  Grief is not tangible like physical injury or pain.  It washes over you with a vengeance and disturbs your thinking and emotions in every possible way.  Putting one foot in front of the other is one of the hardest things to do. 

 

I am sorry for your pain and the missing that is ever with you.  http://amsosad.com/authors-titles/ 

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Im extremely sorry to hear about your loss. I hate to hear people suffering. The loss of a loved one can be profoundly painful. There many avenues out there to help people cope with their loss. The hard part is finding someone that truly cares and wants to make you feel better about your life again. Their are many defining steps in finding happiness in your life again. Talking with a trained professional may be able to help you. Wish you all the luck in the balance of happiness.

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