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Why & Where the F*** Is God?!!

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Why? I just want to know why. I'm so pissed off right now that if given the opportunity, I'd kill someone. Everything I thought I've figured out is straw. I have nothing figured out, and I'm mad as hell. I don't want pat answers. I want something to cling onto and quaint Bible verses ain't cutting it, nor is the dumbass phrases, "She's in a better place...," and "Well, there are other people worse off than you...." When you're in the middle of the crap, you don't have perspective and I have no tolerance for BS phrases like that said to me in a weak effort to make me feel better and make you more comfortable. When you've walked a mile in my shoes, then perhaps you can say that!  I can see why people abandon their faith, I really do, and I'm very close to losing mine. 

 

Why am I mad? My mother-in-law died yesterday evening after a short battle with cancer. She was diagnosed in late February and now she's dead. Now, my husband is an orphan. His dad died on May 31. My dad died in January 2013. In between that time, I've lost three friends - two to cancer and one to suicide - and then an acquaintance died the day after Dad from a stroke. Right now, I know three more people struggling w/cancer. How are we to bear all this? Where is God? I get that people must die - but why so many in such a short time period? And why do bad things happen to good people? Why was it necessary to take away two mommies, leaving their little girls behind and their husbands bereft? When someone has it figured out, please, PLEASE enlighten me.

 

I've lost all my life within me. I'm done.

 

 

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They say God takes the good first, maybe it is so they don't have to suffer this walk of tears we call life. 

 

I lost my Mum last night and she was the kindest sweetest person in the world, who would have given her last penny to help a stranger, but she had an unhappy life, I keep thinking that now, now she doesn't have to worry or stress, now she is with her Mum and her Brother and her Dad and she is watching over me. 

 

I know how hard it is, I know how terrible it is, but God is not to blame, I blamed him too and I know how angry you are, I'm angry too. I can't give you any answers, I don't have any for myself, all I can do is walk my path of tears and look forward to seeing my Mum at the end and be at least partially content that she is happy and away from pain now. 

 

I hope that you feel better soon and that life throws you a few peaches instead of lemons, take care. 

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I am so sorry for both of your losses.  Losing a loved one is definitely hard to take, I can't imagine losing so many special people in such a short time.  My personal feelings about the loss of a loved one is that it is always too soon.

 

I lost my dear mom this past October and my heart is still very heavy.  In these months since her passing, I went through a lot of different feelings.  I also got angry at GOD but when I stopped and looked back at my entire life with my mom I couldn't help but to feel grateful.  I know it sounds freaking nuts that I would feel grateful but I did feel grateful and I still do.  You see the good Lord blessed me greatly in having her for my mom and for that I am grateful.

Prior to my mom passing on, I was kind of a spiritual person.  I believed in God and I tried to be a good person.  After my mom's passing my faith grew very strong because no one on this planet could have sustained me through the pain of seeing her so sick and pass away other than God Himself.  I mean no-one.  The reason HE did help me get through it all is because I asked Him to.  Yep it was that simple.  He loves us all and He is there for us if we want Him to be.  I hope this doesn't sound preachy or like a sermon because I can't stand that sort of thing.  I am just sharing what I know holds me up in these difficult times.  It sounds like you really love all of those people you have lost and are probably also are grateful that they were in your life.  Try to focus on how blessed you were to have them ... even though it was for a short time.  Take care and I hope this helps.

 

Cindy

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We won't know the answers to why this stuff happens.  I lost my Mom 2 years ago May 16th unexpectantly when she was 56 and I was 28.  I do believe everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it's hard to believe that.  They say God gives the hardest battles to his strongest soliders.  You and your Husband must be incredibly stong individuals.  Stay strong...it sucks...but you guys have eachother to lean on.  I'm so sorry for the multiple losses you have had to go through.  No words can take away that pain.  Take care of yourself and eachother.

 

Megan

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I too was angry with God. I also hate hate hate those patronizing simple comments like (s)he is in a better place. I also believe Cindy is right on that God does help when you ask Him too. I also take comfort in knowing that God does really know how it hurts losing someone to death. In a painful irony my faith and relationship with God has grown stronger since losing my Dad 4 years ago. I have openly expressed my anger to God and have been filled with peace afterwards. Losing a loved one to me is one if the worst painful and pain filled moments we experience in life. Nothing changes that fact and feeling angry is normal and should never be suppressed.

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