Do your other problems cloud your grief?

[MissuDad]

Hi,

 

This something I´ve been thinking about quite often, in this past year my life had an 180 degrees turn, I lost my dad and alongside other problems surfaced...

 

First my dad dies unexpectedly, after a few short months my mom´s kidney problem returns, then my finantial stability starts going down the drain and to help I start having problems at work...

 

Since my dad died my boss has been trying to make my work life hard, so after almost one year, I got tired and to avoid a breakdown my GP gave me disease leave (which pays almost nothing), after returning I was feeling better and determined to get another job, but behind my back, my boss complained to the human resources that I did not let her know about onw the leaves, which is a lie, and thanks to that they are trying to take me on a disciplinary action, so I had to hire a lawyer (spend money I did not have)... The environment there has become unbearable, I tried to hold it together, but it got to me and had full blown panic attack there and decided to go to my GP and tell him what happened and he got me on another disease leave.

 

Now I´m left with all these worries, cuz the money won´t be enough, but being there is also a hell, adding this to my mom´s health and my own grief I feel overwhelmed and really confused about what´s going on with me Sometimes I don´t even know what I´m suffering for, I feel I have so many worries that I don´t "dedicate" enough time to each one of them, it´s like times when I feel I should be thinking about dad, I´m thinking about what happened at work or when I think I should be giving my mom more attention, I rememeber I won´t have enough Money for my monthly expenses

 

Does this happen to anyone here? Sometimes I feel like I´ll go insane or just blow up

 

Sorry about the long text, but needed to vent

 

 

[Ouch and confused]

Hi Missu,

 

That's why I am here 27 years later.  Of course there are certain things that become more important than grieving.  Life is really too short to grieve because it is not a pleasant thing.  But, but!  I think you have to.  Does it have to be every day?  No, of course not.  I've seen some post here that have so much anger for the loved ones who have passed that it has morphed into some kind of hatred...but yet, they are still here grieving in their own way.  And why?  Well because, we are all here looking to explain the very explainable.  However we can rationalize things though, the pain still is there.  Death and loss are very hard to deal with; emotion and logic are at constant war. 

 

There is no right or wrong.  You do as you need to do, and deal with what you need to at the time...but yet, be appreciative that you are able to deal because I'm sure you do remember those days when you were not.  Life is for the living as callous as that may sound.  I promise you, none of our loved ones would want us to be here, and dealing with their loss.  No, they would want us living and learning from their memories and just enjoying the world and life as it should be.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all - just as grieving in our own ways, at our own times is not either wrong at all either. 

 

Take care, and hang in there!