Members cavern Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 My mom and dad passed away with in four months of each other last year. Im 32 and never ever expected to loose both of them in such a short period of time. I am the youngest of the family and have always been very close with my parents. Its so hard to know they are gone. My mom passed away 6 moths ago and my dad 10 months ago. but, feels like yesterday still though. I've had a hard time lately. I literally watched both of my parents be taken off of life support and die in front of me in the hospital. Its truly terrible to see. I will say that I have an amazing husband thank goodness, but my friends don't seem to understand how hard this has been on me. I have some good days but most are sad and no one seems to truly understand. anybody have any advice? i miss them sooo much, they were the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BaileyB Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 My heart just breaks for you, as I read your post. Having lost one of my parents, I can only imagine your grief and sadness with the loss of both parents in such a short period. I'm sorry that your friends don't seem to understand. All I can say is, when the day comes that they loose a parent, they will. Until then, just take each day at a time and know that it will take a very long time to feel better... That the grief will actually never go away but you will feel better with time. All the best to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mwruby1 Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Cavern, My father died 3 years ago, and my mother passed away on 03/20/2014. My mother's death was not expected. I was at the hospital when she died, in which those images are constantly in my head. I understand when you say your friends don't seem to understand how hard it is, for I have people I am surrounded by who are not sympathetic to my feelings as well. It could be because they have yet to experience what it is like to have both parents die right in front of you. I wish I can share some advice with you...truth is I am still finding ways to cope myself. The only thing I can tell you is if you feel the need to cry...let it out, for crying allows some of the hurt you feel to flow... I will also keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 thanks guys for listening. so sorry for both of you, i know how hard it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Cavern, My father died 3 years ago, and my mother passed away on 03/20/2014. My mother's death was not expected. I was at the hospital when she died, in which those images are constantly in my head. I understand when you say your friends don't seem to understand how hard it is, for I have people I am surrounded by who are not sympathetic to my feelings as well. It could be because they have yet to experience what it is like to have both parents die right in front of you. I wish I can share some advice with you...truth is I am still finding ways to cope myself. The only thing I can tell you is if you feel the need to cry...let it out, for crying allows some of the hurt you feel to flow... I will also keep you in my prayers.im sorry to hear of the recent passing of your mom and that you had to see it in the hospital too. Its so hard to not see those images in your head. i have a hard time expressing this so im glad i found people i cant talk to about this.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jillbus Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I'm so sorry for your losses. I am 43 and lost both of my parents in less than two years.I too am the youngest and did everything with my parents. My fathers was expected and my Moms was not. I found my Mom Christmas Eve morning. She was my everything, my best friend, my heart and my soul.Being without both parents is devestating and few people can understand how lost and alone it feels. That because you have a spouse that it's all ok, well it's not. I may have wonderful people in my life, but that in no way replaces your parents. The people who loved you no matter what. The people you could call for anything. The ones who gave you life.I can't say I have advice, only that I do get it...I do understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Jillbus, I feel your pain and appreciate your words. Losing both of them in such a short period of time has been so hard on me and my life in general. I was soo close to them, its so hard to wake up knowing that i wont ever talk to them again, to hear them say i love you, or hug me ever again. with mothers and fathers day approaching I don't know how im going to be able to face those days without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I'm so sorry for your losses.I am 43 and lost both of my parents in less than two years.I too am the youngest and did everything with my parents. My fathers was expected and my Moms was not. I found my Mom Christmas Eve morning. She was my everything, my best friend, my heart and my soul.Being without both parents is devestating and few people can understand how lost and alone it feels. That because you have a spouse that it's all ok, well it's not. I may have wonderful people in my life, but that in no way replaces your parents. The people who loved you no matter what. The people you could call for anything. The ones who gave you life.I can't say I have advice, only that I do get it...I do understand.Jillbus, I feel your pain and appreciate your words. Losing both of them in such a short period of time has been so hard on me and my life in general. I was soo close to them, its so hard to wake up knowing that i wont ever talk to them again, to hear them say i love you, or hug me ever again. with mothers and fathers day approaching I don't know how im going to be able to face those days without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted April 29, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 seems like everywhere i look i see mothers day stuff, its so hard to see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mercurybebe Posted May 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss...and yes, the Mother's Day stuff is SO HARD to see everywhere. What do you do when you don't HAVE a Mother anymore??? I am a Mother and I understand my children's need/desire to celebrate me but I just don't feel like it. I want to sleep right through the day and pretend it isn't happening. My mom died in her sleep out of nowhere, with no illness and I am SO ANGRY about it. It should have been my father, who clearly I am not close to, and it angers me that he is breathing and my Mom...who was my world...is not. Its been 3 months for me and so far it hasn't gotten much easier. Tomorrow is my brother's 33rd birthday (I'm the oldest) and the first without a Mom...my heart is heavy for him. It is just so unfair. I wish I could be more helpful....but I am not in a good place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BaileyB Posted May 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 I still buy a Mother's Day card... I just can't walk by and not buy one. I usually write a little note to her about what I'm feeling and how I miss her, and then I tuck it away in a safe place. I have also treated myself to some nice things - on my birthday and Christmas - things that remind me of her or things that I may have asked for that she would have bought as a gift for me. I say a little "thanks mom" and it just makes me feel better to have something special that reminds me of her on special days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 4, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 I still buy a Mother's Day card... I just can't walk by and not buy one. I usually write a little note to her about what I'm feeling and how I miss her, and then I tuck it away in a safe place. I have also treated myself to some nice things - on my birthday and Christmas - things that remind me of her or things that I may have asked for that she would have bought as a gift for me. I say a little "thanks mom" and it just makes me feel better to have something special that reminds me of her on special days. Baliey that is a good idea. Just so hard to have her and my dad not be here anymore. Mothers day stuff is everywhere adding to my dismay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 11, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 how to make it through this day?.... I know im not alone here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daddys_little_girl Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 I can kind of relate to how you feel. I am 16 and 9 months ago I watched my dad die in front of me in the hospital after being taken off life support... I also have friends that don't understand what I need sometimes. A counselor I was seeing told me to tell them to not try and help fix me but to just listen to what I ask of them and just be an ear and a shoulder to cry on... Maybe talking to your friends about that may help them better understand how to help you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Daddysgirlalways1983 Posted May 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2014 Cavern....I know it sucks and not fair. I lost my Dad 1 month ago and I seem stuck. I was looking online on how to help myself take the healthy right steps. I found some info on cancerssociety site. Ive been trying to make time stand still. I even talk to his ashes. He was my best friend I could be myself with, my hero and my first true love. Ive got a mother that wouldnt give me moral support but the week he died she showed up and tried to make it about her. I am married but im the only person he has ever loved like he does and has never lost anyone close to him. So when I talk to him he just looks at me with a blank look. He has no idea that what he cant see is a part of me has died and i feel im suppose to pick up the pieces and move right along. Ill pray God will give u peace and understanding only he can give and that a special person will walk into your life to help you along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 16, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Cavern....I know it sucks and not fair. I lost my Dad 1 month ago and I seem stuck. I was looking online on how to help myself take the healthy right steps. I found some info on cancerssociety site. Ive been trying to make time stand still. I even talk to his ashes. He was my best friend I could be myself with, my hero and my first true love. Ive got a mother that wouldnt give me moral support but the week he died she showed up and tried to make it about her. I am married but im the only person he has ever loved like he does and has never lost anyone close to him. So when I talk to him he just looks at me with a blank look. He has no idea that what he cant see is a part of me has died and i feel im suppose to pick up the pieces and move right along. Ill pray God will give u peace and understanding only he can give and that a special person will walk into your life to help you along the way.Im sorry to hear about your loss, as i truly understand your pain. My husband has been great to me its just so hard sometimes for me to be the me i used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lamp Posted May 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Cavern, I am so where you are right now. It sucks. I'm still so numb. I can't imagine what my husband is feeling. We've lost three parents between us in 16 months. His mother died April 29. Also in that time, I've lost three others in my social circle. I can't wrap my head around it. Just take things minute by minute - that's all I can tell you. And, if you have a faith, stick to it. Talking to people who've walked this path is extremely helpful, and for those who haven't, like someone else suggested, just ask them to listen to you. I wish more people would do that - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 19, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 19, 2014 Cavern, I am so where you are right now. It sucks. I'm still so numb. I can't imagine what my husband is feeling. We've lost three parents between us in 16 months. His mother died April 29. Also in that time, I've lost three others in my social circle. I can't wrap my head around it. Just take things minute by minute - that's all I can tell you. And, if you have a faith, stick to it. Talking to people who've walked this path is extremely helpful, and for those who haven't, like someone else suggested, just ask them to listen to you. I wish more people would do that - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason! Wow, I am sorry to hear that. Its so incredibly hard. Minute by minute is right, because day by day seems too much at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 19, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 19, 2014 Wow, I am sorry to hear that. Its so incredibly hard. Minute by minute is right, because day by day seems too much at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cavern Posted May 22, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 somedays are better, some are worse. I miss them so much its unreal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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