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missing mom


iwantmymomback

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iwantmymomback

Today I went to my Mom's graveside.  I worked on her headstone, cleaning and making it shine.  She was such a good mother to me and my sister.  I sat by her graveside and talked to her.  I always tell her how much I love and miss her, and I sit there and just stare at her name on the headstone.  Its been over three months and sometimes I still feel like I'm having a bad dream.  I still feel numb.  The only emotion I can still feel is the love I have for my daughter.  Other than that I feel dead inside.  My emotional state is so fragile still, I get so upset so easily at my husband.  I feel like he's really not there for me.  He never mentions my Mom and never has even once ask me how I'm doing or feeling since she died.  I guess maybe I'm being too hard on him, maybe he thinks it will upset me too much, but at least I'd know he cares how I feel.  Anyone who may read this, please keep me, my dad and sister in your prayers.

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Your words touched me...Me too, just sit and stare at the words. It's not real is it? I just want to hold my mum. I miss her touch more than anything. We have some video footage, (just recently been able to watch a little....just to hear her) and tons of photo's.... Sometimes I can look at them and sometimes it's just too hard, yer know? I'm so scared that this will never end....this agonising pain is too much to deal with. 10 months on Wednesday....may as well have been 10 days.

I go thru life cos I have to...my daughter needs me, (same as you I guess) I Just think I'll always feel so sad. The numbness wore off month 6. Then I think the realisation that she'd gone started to sink in. Just writing this is still surreal.

People don't mention it. I Think it makes them uncomfortable and also they don't want to see someone they love and care for in pain. Sometimes it's because they can't relate to such an immense loss. I need to talk about her sometimes, it helps me to process what's happened I guess.

Take little steps, talk about her, from what I've learnt so far, grieving is all about that.          ~hugs~

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:(Your family is in my prayers! I to lost my Mom a year ago Dec 2 ,2007 it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She had lung Cancer . She went 18 months in and out of the hospital and through treatments that made her very ILL. I know I saw her go through all this and know she suffered . But it did not make it any easier giveing her up. I love and miss her each and every minute of my day. I know exactly how you feel and like I said my heart and prayers are with you and yours hope you have a good Holidays! I am going to try too. Keep in touch!

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