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Lost both of my parents in 36 hours


insideout

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In 2012 both of my parents were in the hospital at the same time. On the same floor, in rooms next to each other. My father died first and my mother died 36 hours later. I have not been able to talk about it but now I am ready to deal with the agony of having seen both of my parents dead and to be witness to the fact that they are indeed gone. I am extremely angry this has happened. I can't say much more than that because the feeling is so deep. I am furious to have had this happen. Please forgive me for not saying more. I have been holding this all in. I just have not been able to express myself about this horrible incident. My life was turned upside down and I am sad and lost. Siblings have not been available for support. Thank you for listening. I had to post this. I am deeply grieving. Their deaths came as a shock. In fact I am still in shock and am not sure I will ever not be. How can you witness the death of both of your parents in 36 hours and just move on with your life as if nothing has happened? I am hurt beyond words.

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Insideout, hi, I'm truly sorry for your loss. I lost my mom, my best friend, my everything, three and a half months ago, and I am still in shock, in denial, and suffering day in and day out. I don't know how I'd feel if I lost my dad now or tomorrow, and I will lose him too at some point, but should this happen right now, I know it'd destroy me completely, for my parents were my world.

 

I am married with no kids and my husband is wonderful. I also have some really good friends and a large family, lots of aunties and uncles; however, nothing and nobody can feel the void and the anguish that I feel over the physical loss of my mom.

 

So, I know how you feel, also because my sibling is not supportive and rather completely self-absorbed.

 

In any case, there are various wonderful people on this forum who are in a very similar situation to yours (Jillbus, Whereismyhome are two of them, and have lost both of their parents in a very short time).

 

All I can say is that here you can vent and say whatever you want without ever being judged. We all understand your pain, and of course nobody can move on after losing somebody who we loved and love so much.

 

We are here for you, so please feel free to come back any time, and talk about how you feel and the tragedy that you experienced in short a short time and all of a sudden.

 

Take care, warm regards,

 

Trish

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Dear insideout,

 

(and warm wishes to Trish)

 

Having been in the pit of despair because of death myself, I have a great deal of compassion for you to have experienced such trauma in such a short time.  Having to live again after one loss is life shattering enough, but two?

 

You have a right to be angry.  This is a terrible, terrible thing that we have to go through.  Death can sometimes make us hate life.  Having to live through the death of the ones we love is the most unfair and un-understandable thing in this world.

 

You have a great deal of strength to have carried this pain by yourself for all this time.  I admire your strength in coming in here and saying as much as you have.  I hope that sharing even this much to us has created some movement for you.

 

It isn't true that we go on like nothing has happened.  We go on, but we are forever changed.  It is when we start to accept how we feel that we begin to learn from ourselves what we need to continue in this world.

 

I know it isn't easy and I know that my words mean nothing.  But I wanted to at least let you know that you don't have to pretend that things are all right.  This is a new world and you have suffered a devastating loss.  It is understandable to you are hurt beyond words.  I am just very happy that you are now reaching out to share that pain.

 

Look around the forum, see if you can see parts of what you're going through in people's stories.  Share part of your story with them.  Maybe after tentatively taking some steps here, you might want to look for support groups in your area where you can connect in person.  But don't think about that now, just focus on allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling.

 

In allowing yourself to be true to your pain and to express it and share it, you will start to learn how do you go on after something has happened.

 

Be gentle and take baby steps.

 

<3

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Tossed-into-the-Sea

I understand your anger. It's all I feel. This might be juvenile, but you can't move on as if nothing happened. You have the right to stop, pause, and take a break. How is it right for you to go on every day normally feeling this way? It isn't. That anger is of a different kind. It will ruin everything for you. You don't have to fight this alone if you don't want to. 

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I can not even begin to imagine loosing both parents that quickly together, and I'm very very sorry for your loss.

I think it's good that you can start to talk about it. Maybe post on here, and let your rage flow, scream, swear, cry, ......let it out. We're not here to judge you, but to offer love and support. <3

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