I miss him so much

[msmouse]

Its been one month since i lost the love of my life. I feel like I am going crazy. I miss him so much!!! Everywhere I go reminds me of Jerry. Family and Friends help but they aren't Jerry. I hate the thought of trying to go on without him, but I have to. He wouldn't want me to give up. The waves of emotions are so powerful and overwhelming at times. I guess we are all on this site trying to help one another, trying to find comfort in talking with others who are experiencing the same thing.

[erip]

Hello msmouse, i lost my boyfriend too on february 9 this year so i can relate to what you say. As you say we are here to support each other, post, talk in the chat,etc.

If you need to talk you can always message me. I am new to this process but i know it takes time and we have to live a day at a time because if not we get anxious.

Take your time to heal, focus on yourself and also remember all the love the two of you share.

Yesterday i read this:

 

"Quit worrying about being "over it" and quit worrying about the people who are telling you that you should be "over it". Embrace that you are not ever going to be "over it"; that you are instead going to move forward from the experience that was losing your beloved spouse and that you are going to do so in your way and in your time. You are also going to take a periodic pause to stop, look back and see just how far you have come since you became widowed -- whether it was ten minutes, ten months or ten years ago".

 

I don't have words for this but i send you a hug and i am here if you ever want to talk.

 

Ericka.

[msmouse]

Thank You Ericka--- it will be a tough road but we can and have to keep moving forward. Thank You for sharing the advice. It is so true. I am sorry for your loss as well.

 

Feel free to contact me anytime as well.

 

Take Care of yourself,

 

Kim

[Tryingtohavehope]

Kim & Erika,

Im only 2 months into this pain myself but I can tell you I have had some good days! I think it will get easier to bare but will just take time! I don't know about anyone else but I just wish time could stop...preferably back when Keith was alive!

[Tryingtohavehope]

Kim & Erika,

Im only 2 months into this pain myself but I can tell you I have had some good days! I think it will get easier to bare but will just take time! I don't know about anyone else but I just wish time could stop...preferably back when Keith was alive!

[Tryingtohavehope]

Sorry didnt mean to post twice! lol

[msmouse]

Thank You for the encouragement! I truly hope the pain will lessen with time! Jerry amd I did everything together aside from work. I miss him terribly. He passed away so suddenly and that makes it very hard for me.

[oldsofty59]

This place has been a god send to me.I lost my fiancé on New Years day. It is like it was yesterday the emotions are so strong and  i do not know how to cope at times. 

 

                       it is so nice to come to a place where you can feel at ease and grieve in your own way it was nice to talk with you both today Ericka, and Kim hope we can touch bases again soon

 

 

    Dave

[msmouse]

Hi Dave,

 

yes, it is a godsend. We all have to stick together and support each other. It was nice talking to you, too.  Everyday seems like a struggle right now. I have a hard time even beginning to think about what the future holds. All i know now is that I miss Jerry! I feel so alone and empty.

 

[Kurtybearhugs]

MSMouse, I just finished my homework assignment that our grief support group facilitator gave us for next week. The purpose was to tell the group what progress we have made since our loved one died. It has been over four years for me, and (to make this brief) I went from crying through my entire first grief support meeting, to crying only occasionally when I talk about very painful stuff, and it is nothing like the pain that I first felt. Mostly my life is good, fulfilling and even happy. At two months after my wife died, I just wanted to die, and felt so bad, that I thought I (like many others) would never experience happiness again. At my first grief group, I saw people who had made it through two and three years of grief, and they all seemed reasonably ok, and even happy at times. I figured that if they could do it, I could do it too.

My ever so gentle suggestion to you, is that you try to find a support group you like, and try to make yourself as comfortable as you can during the process of your recovery. Baby yourself a little... and be patient with yourself. Whatever you are feeling, many others feel the same way. You aren't going crazy, you are just grieving.

I now spend a lot of time helping others with their grief, and it is the most rewarding thing I could ever imagine doing. I'm on my third generation of grief buddies, and it is so wonderful to see the newest group making friends, and making progress... and even smiling and laughing again. I know it's hard, and this is a time when I would encourage you to make use of any and all resources available to you. Most Hospice organizations have free grief counseling and groups, even if your loved one never used their services. I wish you the best, and a speedy recovery. Yours With Loving Kindness, KBHs

[Danah]

I miss holding hands with my Dave......

[msmouse]

I miss Jerry so much. I feel like I didn't do enough for him!

 

[HeyJude]

I miss my Jerry too.  I think it is pretty common to feel like we didn't do enough, were kind enough, loved enough.  At least I know I feel those things.  I just really miss my Jerry's presence.  We could go a whole day without talking, just being in the same house together was such a comfort.  A lot of times I feel incredibly guilty because back in 2002 my mother came to live with us after my dad died.  I spent a lot of time with my mom and I really think that my Jerry felt ignored which wasn't the case at all.  He used to tell me to spend as much time with her as I could because one day she wouldn't be here.  And now he isn't here and I didn't spend enough time with him.  Darn it, now I'm crying....

[msmouse]

heyjude, I am sorry for your loss as well. We have to take one day at a time. I know I can't keep blaming myself. I did all I could to help him. Some days are just overwhelming.  I am sending hugs your way!!

[brijac]

It has been two months since I lost my dear wife after 49 yrs of happy marriage. My main problem at the moment is finding it very difficult to realise that she wont be coming back.My brain just wont acknowledfge it at all . When does it finally register that you are on your own and that this is the way it will be for the future. I   find it difficult to look at my dear wifes photo without crying. Does it get easier and do you begin to acknowledge that your partner is not coming back. Thank you for your comments. Brijac

[HeyJude]

Yes Brijac, it does get easier.  Some days.  And then you can spiral out of control again.  It is a vicious ride that is for sure.  But yes, the pain does soften.  You just have to believe that she is still with you in spirit.  My parents were married for 50+ yrs and after my dad died my mother came to live with us.  She is my strength, I wish I could be more like her.  She didn't go into intense grief like I have. But I do know that it does get easier.  I can look at pictures now, it just feels like another life.

[msmouse]

It has only been a little over 5 weeks since I lost the love of my life and it is hard. Brijac, hang in there. The emotional roller coaster becomes overwhelming I know.

[msmouse]

I have so many signs that he is with me!! It is still hard though.I am fortunate to be able to receive these little signs. I know some people don't believe it is possible, but it is. That helps keep me going on my worst days!!!

[HeyJude]

I know what you mean MsMouse!  I get signs too.  In fact, I had a reading by a psychic medium that just blew me away.  I have very firm beliefs in the afterlife as well.  In fact, if any of you can get your hands on it there is a DVD called Afterlife and it is really a good watch.  It is like a documentary and very very good.

[msmouse]

Thank You Heyjude. I know I have experienced things and I know I am not going crazy. Thank You for validating that for me!

[msmouse]

The last few days have been real hard and now today it's not bad. I miss him and I want him back although I know I can't be with him right now. I do believe we all will be back together with the ones we love. What may seem like 20 years on this side is probably only measured in minutes on the other side. I know he doesn't want to see me sad and he is sending little signs letting me know he is still with me and always will be. Time just moves so slowly though. That makes it even harder. I'm trying to hold on because I know that is what Jerry would want.

[HeyJude]

It seems to go like that for me.  I have a stretch of good days and then bam...I get hit with an especially bad one.  I'm thinking it will always be like that.

[msmouse]

We just bought a house and I don't even want to stay there. I miss him so much!! It is much too empty there without him!!

[erip]

msmouse i send tons of hugs your way, i get so lonely too this is so hard. hang in there please and think what you think is best for you

[msmouse]

Erip Thank You . Some days are better than others. We had 2 places that we lived in and moving all of our things to the new house is so hard. I feel like a part of us is being ripped apart with everything I move. There are so many memories! It seems like it gets harder everyday!

[msmouse]

Another day of feeling lost. I really hope God's need for Jerry was bigger than mine. I miss him so much! It's hard to look forward to anything right now. It's too painful. I know he is with me but somedays are harder than others. We were so happy and now my world has been turned upside down. This stinks!!

[erip]

yes, this really sucks!!
Its so hard to realize he is not comming back I am so tired, lost and miss Francisco so much.
Each day is harder
 

[msmouse]

Yes, each day is harder!! I hate this!! It's very hard to go on everyday. I wake up and don't want to be awake, but I can't sleep either. Everyone says it will get easier, I truly hope it will. Hugs to you Erp!

[msmouse]

How do you go on, I ask myself!!! I feel so lost and empty all the time. We did everything together. I miss him so much!! I lost my soul mate, my best friend, my confidant, my everything. I still go to call him to tell him something funny so we could just laugh together. Gosh, I hate this!!! I guess I'm just rambling on.........

[HeyJude]

Idiot.

[msmouse]

Unfortunately, they are out there. They need to find something else to do.

[adamkevinlee]

First of all, Sorry for your situation. But, I suggest you one thing. You lead your bright future with your partner's memories. So, Try to implement your partner ideas as your goals.

 

extramarital affairs

[Yasmin.Ali]

53 Days ago... I lost my husband 

 

My precious husband, No-one can replace him.
My partner for 24 years died at th2 age of 72, it's 53 days since he left me. The pain doesnt subside, the pain and tears keep coming more everyday. Everything i see reminds me of him. Everything i eat reminds me of him. His memory is everywhere in this home. He was so active and healthy, then he suddenly died of heart failure and liver failure. He was my comfort when i lost my first husband to liver cirrhosis. Then in 1993 we lost our first child, he was my comfort. Now that he is gone, who is my comfort. Two hours before i saw him, even though his feet were cold and he stood still, i still believed in my heart and in God that he would return home from the hospital. I told him I made his bed and cleaned the room and the children and I would be waiting for him. He gave me and the children so many years of happiness. The only comfort i have is knowing that he knew how much i loved him and how much his children loved him because we showed him and told him all the time. While he was in the hospital i would sing for him "happy journey" by Hank Locklin, now every night i still sing for him...Happy journey happy journey don't forget the one who love you so, I'll be lonely waiting just for you I'll be patient and forever true, Happy journey happy journey darling till that day,When you'll be coming back to stay...
I keep questioning God, Why couldnt he stay with me just a little longer. 
Nothing in this world can replace the happiness he gave me.

He was always so contented, he never complained.

Yesterday i went into the store room where he kept his clothes he would use to cut the lawn, his scent and presence was so strong, my grief started all over again.

I played a song he liked by Everly Brothers, dream dream dream... anything to feel his presence

I cant face the supermarkets or church, i cant watch movies or cook things i knew he loved.

The grief feels like it has no end. None of my friends or sisters can understand how i feel because they never lost a husband.

Everyday i question God, why , my two husbands, my son, then my mother and my father.

I still have my children, Sometimes they try to tell me jokes to make me laugh but all my humor is gone.

He kept devoted to Jesus till his last breath and he died a christian and with all of our prayers... this is my only comfort, this is all i have,

I want to say thanks to all the women who shared their stories, it helps me so much.

I appreciate any words of advise and encouragement 

Thank you all.
God Bless you !

[msmouse]

Yasmin, I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel . I lost my love suddenly 4 months ago and quite frankly, I didn't think I would make it this far. I thought there is just NO way I could do another day after he passed away. But yet, I am still here and still doing just one day at a time.

 

My advice to you is to just take One day at a time. The reminders are everywhere, I know. Only work on getting through today. Family and friends try to help and they mean well, but you are right, they have no idea what it is like.  You have come to the right place to talk with others who are going through the same thing.

 

There are some wonderful books on Grief that have really helped me to validate my feelings.. I truly know how you feel and if you ever would like to talk, please contact me. Again, you have come to the right place.

 

Hugs to you,

 

Kim

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Yasmin.Ali]

Yasmin, I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel . I lost my love suddenly 4 months ago and quite frankly, I didn't think I would make it this far. I thought there is just NO way I could do another day after he passed away. But yet, I am still here and still doing just one day at a time.

 

My advice to you is to just take One day at a time. The reminders are everywhere, I know. Only work on getting through today. Family and friends try to help and they mean well, but you are right, they have no idea what it is like.  You have come to the right place to talk with others who are going through the same thing.

 

There are some wonderful books on Grief that have really helped me to validate my feelings.. I truly know how you feel and if you ever would like to talk, please contact me. Again, you have come to the right place.

 

Hugs to you,

 

Kim

Thank you Kim for your words of encouragement. Ive searched online for books, videos, testimonies, anything that helped. You can share the names/authors of the books, i'll try to source them.

Thanks for the advice, i take one day at a time, thats all i can do. Some days are more horrible than others.

You are right, people try to say they know how you feel, but unless they experienced your type of loss they can never know.

Hugs and best regards

Yasmin

[Yasmin.Ali]

I have so many signs that he is with me!! It is still hard though.I am fortunate to be able to receive these little signs. I know some people don't believe it is possible, but it is. That helps keep me going on my worst days!!!

 

Believing in signs that he comes to me is very helpful. I know many people dont believe but it comforts me.

Few times i saw many brown doves in the back of the kitchen where we would always be.

I dream him all the time and i like to believe they are visitation dreams

Few days before, i put his "oklahoma" Cd in the player and it skipped to #8

When i went to the supermarket and i started to miss him, all 3 of his songs played

 

Sometimes the signs comfort just as much as it hurts.

[msmouse]

Yasmin Do take those as signs from your husband. He is trying to tell you that he is very much with you! I too receive signs all the time! Please know that he is letting you know that he is still with you! I truly believe that. The dreams you are having are another example of that very fact. The signs definitely give me the strength to trudge forward. Some people look for signs. You don't have to look for them , you will know when you are receiving them and I am so glad that you are!