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Trying to Deal with It


nammi_nammi

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nammi_nammi

The demolition of our house has finally started but is going SO SLOOOOOWLY...  I'm praying it will be done today as the weather is supposed to be bad the next couple days then off and on after that for the next week.  We had to wait 3 extra days for them to even get started last week because of Winter Storm Titan.  Everyone says this could be done in a day or 2, and it's already been 2 1/2 and just hoping today they can get done.  One wall remains standing and more debris to scoop up.  It gets my anxiety up so bad to be left hanging indefinitely not knowing when they are coming back to work.  I went to watch with my husband yesterday - mostly just to see how much they got done, and I kind of wish I hadn't.  Seeing our stuff mixed in with the house debris hasn't set well with me.  I saw a litter box torn up - not good.  As well as videotape streaming from the bucket, shirts hanging from it as well, one of my husband's shoes, a coloring book of my son's, pages of my burnt books blowing around,...  I still can't believe my life has come to this.  It's hard watching your life be scooped up and put into a dump truck and carried off to a landfill.  All my cats gone.  Nothing left of the last 10 1/2 years of my life.  Nothing.  Just a few charred items I found that may be okay - a CD, book, a ball, etc.  I just want them to get a move on and get this done so we can get our new house and I can try to carry on with my life, but this winter is unrelenting.  This has been dragging and will continue til our new house is set up and ready to move in...  In the meantime I feel as if I'm losing my mind trying to deal with everything. 

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you are a very strong woman for everything that you have been through recently.  seeing the debris and your belongings in the rubbish is bringing up a lot of memories of happy and sad times.

 

I couldn't imagine losing all of my material items and losing family pets as well, I don't know how you get through the day, but you are very strong individual for everything that you have gone through lately.

 

The pain we are all having is so difficult and overbearing at times, all of us on this grieving.com page all have something in common no matter what the loss is, we are all trying to help each other cope with the tremendous amount of pain we are all experiencing.

 

It is so painful at moments, and I keep wondering will I wake up from this nightmare, I wonder will anyone understand the amount of pain that I am feeling, and will I be able to move on..     I have never grieved like this before,  I miss my kiki cat so much

 

I sleep with her blanket in my arms, and while sitting on the couch I lay a beautiful picture of her next to me because it comforts me and makes me feel like she is around.   I miss her so much

 

I do know that this grieving page has helped me with feeling like I have people to talk to even if they don't reply to my posts.   I still like to read the other posts because it helps me to relate to others.   Even though I haven't experienced what you have, I do understand your pain..

 

I am here if you ever want to talk

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