Freegirl

Stabbed in thee back.

2 posts in this topic

I am dating a wonderful man. He is everything I ever wished for as a little girl. My price charming.

Three and a half years ago he toured in Afghanistan for a six month period. He doesn't talk about it, most vets don't. This was in 2010.

Earlier in 2007 he married a girl several years younger than him. They had a child together. Brooke was 18 months when her daddy went to fight for our freedom.

He came back in August 2010. Brooke turned 2 the first week of August, but he was still over seas. He got back on his birthday. His wife unloaded some terrible news onto him. She said I've cheated on you and I'm leaving. I'm taking Brooke with me. Also I'm pregnant....

He had been home for three days and was slammed with this. It nearly broke him. He moved back home and began to look for a different job. He found one in Oklahoma. This is where I meet him. He frequents a local Karaoke bar that I visit a lot. At the time he had a girlfriend so we kept our distance from each other. This was the summer of 2012.

That Christmas I vanished. I moved north and west. I ended up on the streets in LA. I came home summer of 2013. I was a recluse for severally months. I reconnected with my friends in a nearby town. This man was still around. As soon as he heard that I was back in town he repeatedly asked about me. I was skeptical at first. I finally met him Christmas 2013. At this point he had experienced a terrible past six months. The girl he was seeing had cheated on him repeatedly. So we were both single, ready to mingle. It has gone well for a while, but now things are getting messy. He hasn't seen his daughter Brooke in a little over 3 years. He pays child support and sends birthday and Christmas presents. But that's it. I keep trying to encourage him to call her, but he won't. He shuts down and clams up. My heart breaks for him. I want to help. I don't know what to do. How can I help him move forward? I feel that it is important for him to have a relationship with his daughter. It's not fair to her that he just disappeared. I can't imagine how she feels. Or how he feels. I am so sad and clueless. Someone please help me.

P.s. I have my own wounds as well. Those have been issues for both of us as well. But they are not as much of a concern to me as him and Brooke having a relationship.

Thanks Freegirl

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It seems to me your guys are meant to be together. After all your travels and then ending back up together. He needs you. From my experience your boyfriend might want to reach out to his daughter but does not want to relive his past with the mother. It happens all the time. Its selfish but human nature. First you should focus on building a great trusting relationship with him and in time he wont care about his past with the daughters mother and be able to give the proper love to his daughter. A lot of the time people have a hard time expressing themselves vocally. Its great that he sends gifts around the holidays but ask him one time to write a letter to his daughter expressing his love and affection for her. He doesn't have to explain the past. Children just want to feel loved, that's it. And over time he will open up more and more to you and his daughter.

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