Members CourtneysMum Posted November 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 The calendar has been replaced with a new one. The batteries in the clock have been changed. The trees have lost their leaves, twice now. My life as I knew it, rearranged. You lost the chance of a future. Your potential went skywards with you. Denied your first love and first heartbreak. Your sister has lost her whole world too. I cry more in the cover of darkness. I hear your name whispered less on their lips. I try to embrace the new memories. But the pain; it just tears and it rips. Time heals nothing. I write to clear my head a little. It allows some sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 12, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 Jodie, I am sorry for the loss of your dear daughter, Courtney. Thank you for posting your poem on this thread. There is a main thread many of us parents who have lost our beloved children post on, it is the Loss of an Adult Child, you are welcome to join the daily conversation there. Sending gentle thoughts. Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 13, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2015 Inner Reflections on the last day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 26, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 Partial Lyrics from Now We are Free, from last scene of movie, Gladiator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daddywithanangel Posted December 10, 2015 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2015 I wrote this several years ago and every christmas i post it where ever i can. What would i like for Christmas? What would I like for Christmas?, you might saythe list i could tell you is so long.peace on earth, goodwill to all mensounds like the makings of a great little song. What would i like for Christmas?, you repeatand I will pause a while to think.House all the homeless, protect all the weak,Give all people safe water to drink. What would I like for Christmas?, you insist,I sense your patience is starting to break.so before you get angry , I will try to explainwhat I want for a great Christmas to make. I would like to spend a moment of timewith my son who is no longer here.To talk and to laugh, to play and to hold,To see how he's grown, shed a tear. I know what I ask is not possible,though if you could grant my wish you would.So instead I have only, ONE simple request,It'll bring peace to my mind if you should. On Christmas day, as you open your gifts,As you spend time with those that you love.Could you please spare a moment, just a second of timeFor those that are in heaven up above. Those who have lost, those who still grieve,They will have the same one request.Remember their loved ones, celebrate in their lives,REMEMBER, and their minds will be at rest. Leif Kelly Ten Christmases now, and we miss you as much now as the first two.We love you Zac and we miss you.Zachary John Evans26 May 1992 - 3 January 2006Forever 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted December 10, 2015 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2015 Thank you Leif.....I think that is what is written on every parent's heart.... I use to know a Leif.....she lived in New Hampshire....our husbands were in the military during the Vietnam war....she moved to Alaska and I lost touch with her..... I have always loved that name..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rebeccagrows Posted December 23, 2015 Members Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Thanks for sharing Lief, it is beautiful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 I miss you so much James mum xx❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 15, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2016 Thanks Georgina for posting your songs. I am going to add the one from the Loss of the Child Thread: Lay me down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted February 5, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 I am adding two songs from the artist Lindsey Stirling. The first one is a song that I found on my son's computer that he would have watched right before his accident. He loved cold climates and was very non-traditional in his musical tastes so I can see why he was drawn to this video. Interesting as its release date was 2012, the same year as his transition. The second song I noticed today. I am missing my son so much, this was one of the featured songs on Youtube by Lindsey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ricky's mom , Wendy Posted June 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 This is the poem from my son's funeral. A Picture Of You I only have a picture now, A frozen piece of time, To remind me of how it was, When you were here, and mine. I see your smiling eyes, Each morning when I wake, I talk to you, and place a kiss, Upon your lovely face. How much I miss you being here, I really cannot say, The ache is deep inside my heart, And never goes away. I hear it mentioned often, That time will heal the pain, But if I'm being honest, I hope it will remain. I need to feel you constantly, To get me through the day, I loved you so very much, Why did you go away? The angels came and took you, That really wasn't fair, They took my Son, My future life. My heir. If only they had asked me, If I would take your place, I would have done so willingly, Leaving you this world to grace. You should have had so many years, To watch your life unfold, And in the mist of this, Watch me, your Mom grow old! I hope you're watching from above, At the daily tasks I do, And let there be no doubt at all, I really do love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted June 4, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 Wendy, thank you for sharing the poem on here. I think all the words in it so express our thoughts. I know, if only I could have died in my son's place, I would have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmomma Posted June 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 I'm not very good at posting things or poems but I wanted to try and share the poem for my son Justin...I miss him beyond words . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 22, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 What so many hurting people need... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 15, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 This song was dedicated to the loss of the singer's friend. Daniels Joik by Jon Henrik Fjallgren lyrics in English; Do you go with me still, my dear friend, Although I no longer see you? Are you still here on earth, Just as you remain in my heart? I lie there and ponder, Its a deafly soundless around me. The tears break through and falls, In the memories of you. An angel that was left behind, Have now got its wings. Where do you fly now, my angel? Where do you fly now? Are you flying through the pearly gates, tell me? Or to the worlds end? Are you flying beside me? Or am I alone now? Where ever you are my friend. Where ever the path takes you. Promise me you'll wait there, Until we meet again. I hope you're happy now. As i was with you, The pain you have suffered, i hope its now gone. Soar free, my dear friend. You're free now. And until we meet again, Farewell, my angel joik is a traditional form of Sami song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted September 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted September 3, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 6, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 On What is Lost (from another forum, posted by a user, not me, but felt it was descriptive of what my life is now minus my sons) If I died, would I cease to exist or would that create a different reality without me? I think it just creates a different reality without me in it. But it also creates a different reality for you because I won't be there. And in that reality -- since I am not there -- our reality will not have what I could add. Perhaps what I could add to the reality would add some color to the beauty. But now that I am not here, the beauty that is here does not change, and like the flower of grass, it falls. The seasons change and the grass again grows, but this time I am not here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted November 6, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted January 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 Grief is colour. Grey, covers everything whilst your mind is clouded with shock. Flashes of red, throbbing pain, and anger at what has happened. Black, all consuming, swallowing up the light, Smothering, choking,enveloping. White is the nothingness, empty, devoid of feelings. Apathy, hopelessness, existing. Blue is the beginning of recovery a new beginning. Yellow is the sunrise and sunset, Seeing a hope for the future. Blue is the beginning of recovery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted January 13, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 13, 2017 After thinking more about it I expanded this poem so here is the final piece. Grief is coloured. Grey, covers everything like a thick mist. Your mind is clouded with shock and disbelief. Flashes of red, throbbing pain And anger at what has happened All consuming black, swallowing up the light, Smothering, choking, enveloping. White is the nothingness, empty Devoid of feeling, uncaring. Apathy, hopelessness ,existing not living. Purple is the colour of my soul Beaten, bruised and battered. Showing the wounds I have had inflicted upon me. Orange is the true colour of Tommy's hair. Flaming, vibrant, eye catching. The colour of my family's love is pink Warm, and soft Wrapped around me like a tightly furled rosebud. Blue is the start of recovery A new beginning. Yellow is the sunrise and sunset Seeing light and hope for the future. I have survived another day.......... To my eldest son Tommy I love you more than words can say and miss you with every breath I take. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 20, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 Tommy's mum, thanks for sharing your poetry on this thread. Sending you gentle thoughts and healing wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted January 20, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 thank you. I have only recently been able to write down my thoughts, poems and observations, before i was too closed up and afraid to let them go because of the emotions they release. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 21, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted January 21, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 Laurie that quote is so true. I want to learn to be a happier person, to find joy every day when life is just difficult to cope with not just grief, to be able to smile through problems and to enjoy being alive instead of just existing. I have sufferered with bad depression before my Tommy was killed but that increased exponentially along with anxiety. I read about people who just love life and i would love to know their secret. I try to enjoy simple things, a good cup of coffee, a message from a friend, a beautiful sunset, a stunning flower etc and try to make my mind peaceful but there is something missing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Devianz Posted February 16, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2017 Dodge Ball The unannounced tragedy struck Now a swift and silent menace Which stalks my every intention Throws dodge balls at my anxiety Hoping for a direct hit The target painted on my wounded heart While the panic sets in Fluttering in my stomach Swallowed hard in an attempt to push Ends up in my trembling hands That I use to pry the words From deep within my silent cries Cries that echo in my lungs Lungs that can't find my breath In the darkness from where My nightmares rise Those unannounced unwelcome blows I cannot blink away with the tears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Devianz Posted February 16, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2017 Groves of Sorrow I never noticed the sound that tree branches made when they bent in the wind, Until I was listening for your soft sweet whistle and words that never came I had never felt the warm sun on my eyelashes in the summer afternoon, Until I was standing out there, eyes tightly shut, trying to wish you into being I never noticed that the birds’ songs were all alarms and not greetings Until they made me cry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Devianz Posted February 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2017 Ticking TimeI would give you back the long sleepless nights Where I paced the floor in worry The hours of panicked pleading phone calls Hoping that he could answer To wind back the covers of your steel trap bed Un-silence the treasure that lays within The unmoving arms of ticking seconds I am stunned by the cruelty of moment As each and every minute known Painfully pushes me closer to a limit Tightly wound and ready to break You stole those nimble hands From the womb in my heart Where he could have put it back together Inside the case, who’s face lies empty Bleeding gears and jewels lay scattered Senselessly pried out by a knife Never again being able to hold him To put my ear against his chest And hear his loudly ticking future ~mks 02/17/2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted February 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2017 Devianz sometimes poetry or journalling can be the best way to be able to say the words or voice the emotions when your body cannot because the breath is stolen from your lungs and your heart is in so much pain. keep writing your words are heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Allen B Posted March 6, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 To all of us heart broken Dad's, I found this on the web. But it rings so true for all of us that have lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Allen B Posted March 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 Life Without You Life without you, now that you are gone, has my heart forever scorned, So much life, dreams and wishes that will be no more, I ask why, oh why God, to no adjoin, You were a light that everyone could see, but life without you, there is nothing left of me. Nothing can take the pain away except the memories of you Each day the pain I share because you were taken away too soon, Days without a Son, that was so happy and true, now will always be days of mourning until I pass on to Just over six weeks has passed now since you were called home But My Love for you Son, will always be there for now and evermore. Sixteen years I loved you and was so happy to be your Dad, Those were the best time in my life that I ever had A Son’s Love is priceless worth more than money and gems But I will never hear you say I love you to me ever again Knowing we will meet again in heaven with skies a blue Has me looking forward to that day too For my Son, Steven 3 December 2000- 28 January 2017 Written by Allen B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted April 3, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Thank you Allen B. for your post. I thank you for sharing about your precious son, Steven. If you wish, you can post in the Loss of an Adult Child section, there are some dads that post. The two main persons who moderate the thread have been there a long time. Sending gentle thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Allen B Posted April 7, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 Jesse David & Taylor Mom Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jwcook73 Posted April 19, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2017 Barely got to know your name Hardly got to hold you in my arms Always find myself to blame I couldn't keep you from harm I want you to know you're in my heart You are forever on my mind I pray our souls never part This pain will heal on time Oh little one I'm haunted by your memory Haunted by what will never be They say it's better to have loved and lost But little one why at such a cost All the laughter that I'll never hear And the smiles that I will never see Will be forever shared between you and me Oh little one I'm haunted by your memory Haunted by what will never be They say it's better to have loved and lost But little one why at such a cost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted April 22, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2017 I feel scared Sometimes I don't know exactly where you are. I look up to the sky And hope you are ok Flying free and without limits Swooping and gliding Laughing the laugh that is so infectious Your bright red hair gleaming in the sun Blue eyes smiling. You left us so suddenly Without any warning A hero in every sense of the word You saved Patrick he has another chance of life Unlike you my precious son. Why you and not him? I don't understand . Why was your life worth less? Your future snatched away All your dreams and hopes All the potential you had inside I want to scream All that rage and pain Locked up inside of me The overwhelming sadness The endless flow of tears From my broken heart My very being is broken because you are not here I have four children Each unique and special Equally loved With every fibre of my being. Now there is a space That can never be filled by anyone else. A hole in family photos. A forever missing presence In all of our lives. I don't know how To fill that aching void I miss you I need you back But I know that can never be. Fly free in peace and joy son. I will see you again When it's my time And you will be there Waiting for me Arms outstretched For that hug that has been so long in coming. I look forward to that day eagerly. But first I have to do Whatever I have been left here to do On this earth. Please guide me Watch over us all Help me to be ok without you for now I love you, Tommy xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 3, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted March 4, 2018 Members Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 beautiful laurie thanks for sharing. here is my effort. The news ,a blinding flash, white hot agonizing pain, blinding me freezing me in motion. i know neither time nor space. then red deep throbbing angry pain beating along with my heart. the crimson tide sweeps me up. I tumble, fall, swept away out to sea. I am lost I am alone I am scared A castaway on an island of despair Drowning welcoming the slow suffocation begging for release to end my sorrow. Then blackness overwhelming, all consuming I know neither day nor night there is nothing here for me i do not want to be here i want to be with you My darling son. But I cannot The voices of my children left behind echo in my mind their fear of losing me draws me back I am needed here I have to stay. The blackness fades a slowly lightening of all around me I hear sounds, see colours where all before was a stark black with tones of white and grey. I am still here not yet standing but on hands and knees scrabbling towards reality and life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 22, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Lesley, I thank you for sharing here. I would say these lines stand out to me, The voices of my children left behind echo in my mind their fear of losing me draws me back I am needed here **************** I think there is always a part of us that longs for the final release from this agony. At least for me it does. But I know with each passing day, I am a step closer to being reunited with him in the next world. I will never understand the why of it all, nor I do not ever see myself coming to an acceptance of it all...I drift back and forth, some days are better and some days worse. It is an honest assessment of my loss. Perhaps when I am in that other world a hundred years or more, the sting of the injustice will be faded, and the horror of this all dimmed. In the meantime, I will share a piece from Elie Wiesel, holocaust survivor, and nobel prize winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 30, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2018 Written for a mom loss, but still a touching song. Supermarket Flowers Ed Sheeran I took the supermarket flowers from the window sill I threw the day old tea from the cup Packed up the photo album Matthew had made Memories of a life that's been loved. Took the get well soon cards and stuffed animals Poured the old ginger beer down the sink Dad always told me, "don't you cry when you're down" But mum, there's a tear every time that I blink. Oh I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved. So I'll sing Hallelujah You were an angel in the shape of my mum When I fell down you'd be there holding me up Spread your wings as you go And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah You're home. I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up. Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case. John says he'd drive then put his hand on my cheek And wiped a tear from the side of my face. I hope that I see the world as you did cause I know A life with love is a life that's been lived. So Hallelujah You were an angel in the shape of my mum When I fell down you'd be there holding me up Spread your wings as you go And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah You're home. Hallelujah You were an angel in the shape of my mum You got to see the person I have become Spread your wings And I know that when God took you back he said Hallelujah You're home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PieceofCate Posted July 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Devianz Posted August 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 mother I weeping deepest indigo from heart and eyes I know the shoes the depth --breadth the darkness you must travel now things others will unknowingly take with words and actions borne of misunderstanding by ignorance it will not make it less lonely they will avoid your gaze trying not to see their own possible loss to avoid seeing their future in your eyes the journey is long fraught with pain and dust and will feel like time nearly stops until you feel crushed by the weight of all the things unsaid the feelings never shared and all the regrets held within we cannot travel back... unwind the time set the clock again so that the pendulum sways freely and serenely we can only release it hoping it's not too heavy to swing so shake the dust from your fingertips if only to touch what is real and begin to connect anew listen for the ticking it's been there all along inside all our hearts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Isaiah's Mom Posted September 25, 2018 Members Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Todd's Mom Posted January 28, 2019 Members Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Quote Reflections and Reminders ©2019 Susan Noyes Anderson (Todd's mom) New Year’s Eve, and a wave of grief carries me back in time, back to the days when the air was sweet and the fruit was on the vine. The skies were blue; the skies were gray, but what I loved was mine, back in the days when the air was sweet and the fruit was on the vine. I long for unplucked branches and the scent of clementine, for every golden memory my thoughts of you define. I gather these around me now, reminded you are mine in grief and grace, through time and space, sweet fruit of God’s design. ∞§∞ “Resting on the roots of this old oak, I lean back against his knotted trunk, shine my granny smith on my sleeve, and ponder the golden days…”Kellie Elmore “Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart. Haruki Murakami “The past beats inside me like a second heart.”John Banville “Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”Lucy Maud Montgomery “Tears…Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes in looking on the happy autumn fields, and thinking of the days that are no more.”Alfred Lord Tennyson “Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It’s amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn’t even pay attention to at the time, a place that you didn’t even know had a particular smell.”Emily Giffin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted February 14, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2019 Thank you for all who have shared their heart on this thread. The journey is hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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