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Loss Of My Big Brother


MissingYouBrother

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MissingYouBrother

I lost my 24 yr old Brother on 2-23-14 to suicide and I am having the hardest time accepting this I can barely function the pain is almost unbearable! I have so many questions that can never be answered. I can't sleep I have been told that every night I cry and scream for him but in the morning I don't remember...I really need help and advice please??

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Jer in Ottawa

Hi MissingYouBrother.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my big bro two years ago on Feb 16th and the pain is still very fresh.  It's easy for everyone to say that time helps ease the pain but so far two years hasn't lessend it much - I find myself missing him more this year than in the first year.  Probably not what you wanted to hear but have you talked to you Dr. about this or thought of talking to a Grief Counsellor or Psycotherapist? 

I went to see my Dr a few weeks ago and she recommended seeing a Psycotherapist that specializes in grief councilling and suicide.  They will help to open up your emotions and give you some tools to help cope with the loss of your Brother.

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mybrothertookpartofmyheart

So sorry hun. I lost my brother too from death by suicide. If you need to talk send me a message. 

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Hello ~ I am so sorry you lost your brother.  This is my first post online to find support, and I too, lost my brother in February - the 10th of this year. .  I hope that the help you sought found you since your post.  Almost 4 months down the road and am finding the grief process very cyclic, unfolding with added dimension each time.  I've sought lots of help from friends, family, and professionals, but sometimes I wonder if the healing will occur.  If you are still checking in with this thread, please continue to seek help based on your needs - don't stop.  My best to you - be well.  

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Marshmallow7707

Hello,

        I am new to this site. I guess I just needed something to help me. I've always been a strong person, I never really felt much pain through all my hardships. I feel as if I never feel much emotion, if that makes sense. I am 14 and just sixteen days before my twelfth birthday the police came and woke us up asking for my mother. They went to go find her at work. I was so confused I started calling everyone, even my brother. He didn't answer, of course I knew nothing could ever happen to him. He was Tomas. He was invincible. Nothing could ever break him. He once fell, broke his knee cap, got right back up and continued his walk. They got back and my mom was a wreck. They called us all in. I still couldn't even begin to imagine. When they told us my brother had died in a motorcycle accident I thought I was still dreaming, or that it was some sick joke. Then, I looked at my mom and I knew in that moment that he was gone. Only 18 and that was just it. I cried and cried. I have so many regrets. I wish i had taken the chance to really get to know him, to be his sister. For days, I didn't do anything but cry. I didn't even move from that couch. I was 11. I was completely baffled. I kept expecting him to walk in, to clarify that it was someone else, to come home, but that never happened. I never got to see the body. I never had proof. He was an organ donor, so they cremated his remains. I never got to say goodbye. He had lived with his dad. We had a pretty rocky relationship due to childhood issues, but I never fixed that. I know more about him now than I ever did before. I see the good in him now more than ever. It's so hard to accept or even imagine that I can never see my brother again. I could have learned so much from him. Even now, I refer back to the lessons he taught me. That night was just a quiet night. He and his girlfriend (they had plans to get married and for him to be a firefighter and then a Marine) decided to go for a joy ride on his motorcycle. They were just going around the neighborhood. They left their helmets behind. They went around a blind corner. Both sides of the street were lined with cars and a car was coming straight at them. He had to act quickly. He dropped the bike and grabbed his girlfriend. He wrapped her body in his and took the blow to his head. He traded his life for hers. He could have saved himself. If it hadn't been his head or if he had a helmet it would have been okay. He died 22 minutes later. It's become a moot point between my family members. He was my half-brother, so my father always hated him and mistreated him. My mother still thinks he is coming back sometimes. My brother won't talk about it, but I used to hear him cry. My father lives in another state and is not a good person. We see him, but not much. I'm a triplet and I live in constant fear that something will happen to my brother or sister. This world is full of terrible people, but the one who loses his life is my brother? Right before he becomes a firefighter and joins the Marines? He finally had his life together. He helped us through so much with our parents. Now he can't even testify against my dad like he wanted. Now my dad makes up lies about him. Insults my dead brother and me. Sometimes I feel like I can't live with my dad. Maybe I shouldn't, I can't tell. I just know what he did to my brother and even my mother has no excuse. I miss my brother, he uses that. I wish I could fight for him, he deserves so much better, but now he's gone and I am completely and utterly lost. Sometimes I wish he would have taken me with him. I have a good life. I just feel empty, like I can't even think for myself anymore. Nothing is right.

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I lost my older brother to suicide on 5-16-15, a piece of me is gone forever, we were so close and had such a special kind of love. I am broken. Everything reminds me of him and I get nauseous. That's all I can say, I just feel like throwing up all the time, I miss him so much

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mydeepestthoughts

I am sorry hearing about the lost, and pain that you are enduring.I hope this scripture brings hope, and comfort..it's found at Rev 21:3,4 "With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. 4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.

The bible promise an end to pain, and suffer, and death..to learn more about this and many more bible promises, please click on the following link. http://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/know-the-truth/1102008390/

May you find comfort.

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