I can't believe this - lost both my cats within 60 hours to 2 different things

[missmykitties]

Friday morning I had 2 cats, by 11:30 Sunday night both were dead

 

My first kitty (Honey) was 13.5 years old and had chronic GI problems.  She would go off her food and be lethargic for a few days and then go back to being normal.  This went on for 11 years with her.  Her weight would fluctuate during these times when she was sick, but then she would regain the weight when she got better.  I had her on prednisone to help during her outbreaks and decrease their length.  This worked well until this last time.  She had a bad lapse at the end of January, but responded very quickly to steroid treatment, but she never gained back her weight so by the time she had another outbreak a month later she was all bones.  This time was the first time she did not respond to meds at all.  She started getting sick on Monday night and by Friday Feb 28 I had to make the euthanasia call since the fluids and steroids were not working and she was close to death on the bedroom floor.  I was devastated because she was my lap kitty and after nursing her for so many years I was very protective of her.  The only thing that things a bit easier was having my other cat (Kovu who was 2 years younger).  He seemed to be in perfect health.  Nice body condition (not to fat or too thin), nice looking coat (everything my first kitty was not by the time of her death).

He was always a very hearty cat and he had no problems eating all his food each morning and night.  Then last night (Sunday March 2) he went into respiratory distress.  At first he was just having abdominal breathing and I brushed it off as me being overly cautious because I just lost my other cat.  He was still acting fine and eating so I thought I was just seeing things.  3 hours later I went to go to bed and he walked from my room into my daughter's room.  Nothing unusual.  I followed him to pet him goodnight and as I did so I saw he was open mouth breathing.  The next couple of minutes involved me throwing on clothes and shoving him in a carrier and taking him out the door to the car to go the ER clinic (it was 11:30 at night by this point).  He made some awful noises for the first minute as we drove and then it was quiet the whole rest of the way.  The ER is 30 min away (but since I was speeding the whole way there it was probably took me more like 20 minutes).  I knew he very likely had passed since it was so silent in the back where his carrier was.  When I got to the ER, I ran in with the carrier and they brought it to the back.  The receptionist then came out asking if I want them to perform CPR.  I said he is dead?  She said he has no heart beat.  It was confirmed then that yes he did die right after we left when I heard those gut wreching sounds.  I told them no to the cpr since he likely had been dead then for over 20 minutes.  They asked if I wanted to see him, but I refused.  I just couldn't do it. 

 

I am still in so much shock right now almost 24 hours later.  I can't believe I have lost both my cats who I have had since 2000 and 2002 from 2 separate diseases all in 1 weekend.  I don't know what to do.  I can't grieve one without feeling bad about grieving the other.  The only thing that is giving me any piece is that at least they are together again and that they both died quickly and didn't suffer a long illness. 

 

I miss them both so much and I am still in shock and probably denial about Kovu (I can't even cry).  Whenever I go upstairs to the bedrooms (where they like to hang out during the day) I expect to see them.  I have never been without a cat for 25 years.  After Honey passed I decided to wait to get another animal because I couldn't take it and was comparing every cat to Honey, but now with Kovu gone too I can't stand having the house empty.  I made an appointment to see some kittens tomorrow.  I hope it isn't too soon, but I really think this is the only thing that is going to help me get through my grieve. 

[Ravenstar]

Dear missmykitties,

That must have been truly devastating, two shocks coming so close together. I grieve for and with you. I hope by now the shock has lessened a bit. I'm surprised that no one else has responded to your post, but I suppose I'm the one who was supposed to - however inadequate I feel...

A somewhat similar thing happened to me: just before my mother passed on, my cat Raven got very sick. I rushed from one to the other (my mom in hospital quite far away from me and Raven at home), doing my best for both of them. Just after my mother left, Raven stopped eating. Feeling desperate, I force fed him, saying, "I can't lose you too!" until he started eating on his own again. I'll never know whether that was the right thing to do; he hung on for 14 more months with me nursing him constantly in every way I could think of, but he had heart disease and couldn't have survived much longer. Those months were a nightmare.

So I think our animal friends sometimes decide to leave the planet for reasons we wouldn't likely consider; Raven loved my mother too, and my grief for her was tearing him apart. Also, if the bond between cats - or a cat and a human - is strong, I think a cat will make that choice. This doesn't necessarily mean Kovu didn't love you as much as he did Honey, but maybe he just couldn't see going on without her. There are examples showing that animals can choose the time and manner of their death. I hope this helps in some small way.

I've left it up to the universe to decide when to invite another cat to live with me. Raven and his twin brother came to me at a time when I was still grieving for my two former cats, but they showed up on my doorstep and I had a strong feeling that they'd been sent to me. So I think if you feel a pull toward getting another cat, go with it. It might be just what you need.

All the very best to you. I'm here to talk more if you want to.
 

[lvkathy]

I am very sorry for your loss, I lost my 22 yr old cat KIKI on march 3rd,  the feelings we go through are like that of no other.  If you need any support or someone to talk to, I am here...   I truly understand what you are going through