Nicole1998

Only brother died in car accident

10 posts in this topic

When I was 12 my older brother died in a car accident. He was 17. Me and my mom were 2 hours away when my dad called us and told us that my brother was in a car accident. We didn't even make it home in time and we had to hear that he died over the phone. I was devastated. He was my only brother. He was suppose to be my protecter and now in 15 and I feel like no one is here for me. My parents have been fighting more than ever. I cry every night. I started drivers ed and I'm terrified to drive because I don't want to be lost the same way as my brother did. My parents took this so hard but they don't know how hard I took it. I can't talk about it and I feel like my parents, if given the option, would trade me in if they could have him back. Everything is abut him and they don't understand that I miss him too. He was suppose to be there till the end. Now I feel like everyone will eventually leave me and I will be alone. I've never really opened up but keeping everything bottled up hurts. I try to keep everything happy and alright but it never is. Sometimes I just feel I will be better off with my brother then here.

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Hi Nicole.

I understand your pain as I lost my older brother 2 years ago in a car accident too.  Although he was older (42) with 3 young children and I have a family of my own I too feel very alone.  I've just started to realize that I need some help in dealing with the pain of his loss, this is not somethat that we are ever prepared for or have the means of dealing with.  I went to see my Dr and she recommend psycotherapy but I have yet to pick up the phone to make an appointment, but I will.  This forum has helped to realize that we're not alone with the grief we have.  There are many others that have gone through this same travesty.

I don't know if my parents are fighting but whenever I do visit it's definately not the same as before.  We have always been a family to internalize our feelings and it's hard to open up and talk about our feelings.  I know there are a lot of grief councilors (sp?) out there that will help you and your parents deal with the loss and get back to being a family again, you are still very important to them - never forget that, even though they may have suppressed those feelings now.

Everyone always asks me how are my parents doing or my sister-in-law but no one askes how I am doing.  They say time helps ease the pain but I find that it is worse now than ever before.

Sometimes we all just need a big hug - here is one for you today "HUG"!

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I had a similar situation back when i was ten years old. It still hurts so much even if its been over seven years. I can at least somehow understand you. I was blacking out all the time for few years after my brother died and only started to get better thanks to taking some meds.

 

I think one of the most important things is to stop keeping everything bottled inside at least a bit less. It's not easy I have been going to therapy for years and still haven't made that much of progress but its a step. I think this pain won't ever go away but its important to have it under control. Even if you feel completly alone remember there are other people who went through the same thing and defenitly care about you. I have no idea about your religion (I myself had to cut ties with church completly after everything happened) but maybe it would help you if you though about him still being with you in spirit?

 

But i hope you will live on. It's hard it's so hard to go on after this but I want my brother to be remembered so I go on. We are diffrent people with diffrent lives but you remined me so much of myself. I hope you will be able to get better even if it takes you years. Because you matter so much even if you dont feel like you do.

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Nicole1998, 

 

I understand what you are going through all too well. When I was 21, my only sibling, my 18 year old sister was killed in a car accident. I lived 4 hours away and had to recieve a phone call at work where my father had to break the news to me that my sister had died. I then had to endure the lnogest 4 hour car ride of my life, back to a broken home, a broken life; a new life. I didn't want it, I didn't want to believe any of it. I still don't, till this day I still haven't accepted the fact that my sister, my baby sister who I was suposed to protect, is gone forever and there isn't a single thing that anyone can do to change that. I have an extremely difficult time understanding and really accepting the fact that my sister is never coming back. I haven't found a way to help myself cope, but seeing that I am not the only one that is feeling this way is helpful. I am new to this, but reading your story really made me feel as though I am not alone in this process.

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Am so happy to have discovered this forum. I lost my 20 year old brother four years ago, and it has been a rocky journey for my family and me, but one that has helped me develop spiritually. I come from a very grounded background, I am a former atheist, but the things that happened to me since Michael's death actually turned into a book. This may not be for everyone, but since my brother's death I felt many times he is still with me in many ways. Has anyone else have similar experiences?

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also, as I am new on this forum, can anyone please clarify what an angel date is?? thank you.

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Am so happy to have discovered this forum. I lost my 20 year old brother four years ago, and it has been a rocky journey for my family and me, but one that has helped me develop spiritually. I come from a very grounded background, I am a former atheist, but the things that happened to me since Michael's death actually turned into a book. This may not be for everyone, but since my brother's death I felt many times he is still with me in many ways. Has anyone else have similar experiences?

 

Di...I am sorry for the loss of your brother...it is a very hard journey. My son, Jesse passed on Oct 10, 2012. In answer to the question you  have, yes, many have had experiences like you referred to. It is called after death communication. One of the books I have read on this is "Hello from Heaven" by Bill Guggenheim.  Also, an angel date is the date your loved one passed. Wishing you peace and comfort.

 

Here is an video on ADC's

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Hi Nicole,

 

I lost my only brother 8 months ago in a motorcycle accident and something you wrote explains exactly how I feel: Everything is abut him and they don't understand that I miss him too. He was suppose to be there till the end.

 

I've been telling myself that for the past 8 months. I am 24 and he was 22, we were so close and I miss him terribly. I am afraid of driving, just like you.

 

The best thing I can tell you is to open up, whether is your parents, a friend, or a therapist. Let it out. Talking to others is the only thing that has gotten me through this. I also love talking about my brother, I don't want his memory to fade and I feel like laughing about his stories or simply saying his name makes me feel like he's still around.

 

I hope you find an outlet through this website. This is actually my first post here but I already feel better because I see that there are other people that can relate to my situation.

 

All the best, 

Claudia 

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Am so happy to have discovered this forum. I lost my 20 year old brother four years ago, and it has been a rocky journey for my family and me, but one that has helped me develop spiritually. I come from a very grounded background, I am a former atheist, but the things that happened to me since Michael's death actually turned into a book. This may not be for everyone, but since my brother's death I felt many times he is still with me in many ways. Has anyone else have similar experiences?

 

Hello,

 

I feel the same way. I didn't believe in much before my younger brother passed away but now I feel him closer than ever, he passed away in a motorcycle accident and everytime I'm having a really low day I can hear motorcylces everywhere..maybe its me but I hope its him sending me signs. My brother was 22, very close in age with yours. 

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Hi

I lost my only brother in February 2014. He was only 28 I was so close to him their was only 11 months between us. He died so sudden the police came to my parents house and told us he fell banged his head and died. He was the kindest gentleness soul I ever met as hard as it is to believe we never fought I loved him unconditionally. I never felt just pain or loss as this its so all consuming. xxx

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