Members qubert Posted August 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2008 Hello everyone I have not posted here in awhile. I have a question. One of my husbands very good friends is helping me with all my finances and stuff, we have become very close talking every day sometimes for hours on the phone. Friday will be 8 months that my husband passed. He wants me to come and see him to see if what we think is going on is real. He lives 1200 miles away. I feel like I am going crazy, I think I want this but I am all mixed up inside. What should I do I just turned 50 and he is 60Qubert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cheryl36 Posted August 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2008 Hiya Q: I am Cheryl and I have a suggestion, but please keep an open mind and remember, it's only a suggestion. From my own person experience, 8 months is not long, but bare in mind that everyone grieves differently! If it doesn't feel right to you right now, then don't go unless this is an inoocent visit. Allow yourself to have "breathing" room so that you can think rashinal( speller's block). If you feel that you are ready to persue this with an open heart, then by all means go for it. But please take the time for you first and whats best for you. If you don't, then it could ruin a good friendship, and I know that a friendship to me, means more than a relationship that may not work out. I needed friends more than anything when my Scott passed, and his best friend looked after me the first year after S had passed. Kinda like a big brother. But nothing ever came of it and I am so, so glad, because even now, when I just wanna talk, he's there, just like a brother. wish you the very best.....CHeryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members alwaysalone Posted August 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 qubert - listen to your heart. Sit in a quiet place and relax. How does it feel? Would it make your husband smile to see you together? That for me is the acid test. An old boyfriend appeared just recently, but I know how jealous Doug was of his place in my life so I let it go - he also had hurt me very badly, so it makes sense to leave that alone! I have this feeling somewhere that Doug is watching out for me and I will feel it is okay when it is a good thing. (BTW-I'm 48, Doug was 61 and it was perfect!)Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members honkingbird Posted August 31, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 i've been widowed 7 years in oct. A year to the day of my husband's death i got involved with his best friend. It was all around complicated. It lasted for years, and in the end I had to conclude it prolonged my grief. It was messy. I thought at the time it was good, but hindsight is 20/20.Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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