Members acandme Posted August 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 It has been so hard to watch what this illness is doing to her little body, but the idea of her being gone hurts so much. She is five years old and we have known since she was two that she would die, as she has a syndrome that is degenerative. Most children die AT five, some as young as three and some can make it to eight. / I'm not handling it well right now and I'm so grateful to have found this site. No one knows how to talk to me about this, not even my husband. To everyone around me it's unthinkable, losing a child, so they avoid it/me. When they do try to talk to me I end up comforting THEM. My daughter is getting weaker and i'm having a really hard time dealing with it all.So thanks for being here. i'm really glad you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ang569 Posted August 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 Oh my. I just froze when I read your post. I honestly dont know what to say. I watched my Dear Mother slowly die and the only good (for lack of a better word) that came out of it, was that I was there for her and I got to tell her I was sorry for being a brat. No words come to mind here except that you have 2 choices when this is all said and done. #1 let it destroy you and beat you down or #2 be strong and survive it. The only thing that has helped me is reading a TON of books. I have been so focused on afterlife now and wanting to know Mom is ok. PM me anytim and I can give you names of books and you can check out the reviews on AMazon. The only advice I can give you is hold because you are in for a huge (to say the least) adjustment and I doubt if you will be "prepared" no matter how much you try.You will definitely be in my thoughts. And I am not just saying that either....you honestly will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members solemate Posted August 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2008 acandme - Hugs from Australia - I cannot image the horror that you are facing and all I know is that your journey is yet to begin. I lost my beloved nephew (22 yrs) to a 1 year battle with brain cancer, my mother-in-law to bowel cancer (6 mths battle) , my father-in-law to bladder cancer & heat attacks (2 year battle), my next door neighbour (young mum of 2 children) to breast cancer (1 year battle) and many more - When I lost both my parents together last year, I know that their deaths have etched a solid memory within my heart. When I used to look after my nephew, he often said that he was lucky to have lived for 22 years and that younger cancer children had not been so lucky. I think in your case he would have acknowleged that your daughter has had the love from you that no other could give. Cancer is such a horrible thing and no one wants to see their loved ones suffer. Your daughter needs you to be strong during this time. When my sister looked after her son during the last 2 mths of respite, it was a journey of laughes and tears. Lots of visits from people, wishes fulfilled and trying hard to fill all the moments with joy. I know it will be extremely difficult and I hope that you have support from professionals. When I was asked to turn off my mothers life support hours after loosing my dad I knew in my heart that it was the best thing that I could ever do for her. Although I didnt want to do it - I agreed. Professional counsellors have been marvellous and have been there for me during the darkest moments. Do you have respite and professional support? There is another site to share for cancer people only - www.caringbridge.org I know of someone who had a fairy party for their little girl and this was such a special time for her - there were laughs, fun and happy memories. You seem to be such a special person who has only thoughts for her special little girl. Take care of yourself and dont be so hard on yourself - let yourself go through this journey albeit joys and pain. Take care - Gayle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterfly13 Posted August 29, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2008 I'm so sorry that you and your little girl are going through this,it must be devastating.I agree with ang569,I have also been reading alot of books on life after death for comfort,hoping my mom is ok and that I will see her again one day.One really good book is written by a Pediatrician called Closer To The Light by Melvin Morse M.D.it si all about children who have had near death experiences,their description of the beautiful other world that they had traveled to,angels that were there to welcome them etc..I hope it will give you some peace of mind.Hugs to you and your little angel- Butterfly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4everjoeysmom Posted August 29, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2008 acandme, I am so sad for your situation...for your daughter's illness, ripping at your core as you watch helplessy unable to do anything about it. I cannot know exactly what you are going through, but I do know the loss of a child. My heart breaks for you. Please pour yourself out here into words, expressions, whatever you need to be in the moment, and know that here you are safe to be whatever you need to be in the moment. This is so painful for you, and here you do not have to be the strong one. BIG HUGS from one mother to another. Always, Joey's Mom, Claudia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members karolynca Posted September 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 I cannot say I know how you feel, however I wanted to send you all my love and support. People avoid talking about death and sometimes those of us going thru the loss of someone are expected to be "strong", I'd say be yourself, grief if you have to when you have to and be there for your little girl. I will have you and her in my constant prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mom2wasim Posted September 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2008 Dear Acandme...... im so sorry for the pain that you are suffering and the pain your little princess is suffering also, this is so heart breaking... my heart aches for you both, sweety what can one say but i will pray for you and your daughter, May God ease her pain and suffering... and sprinkle his blessings on her and heal her.. Ameen. I pray sweety to God to spare you the pain of loosing a child...Keep praying candme.. ask him over and over again to heal her... and i know without a doubt you do... It is in God's hands only...I lost my son, he was abroad on holiday, he fell sick four days, i booked his flight to return to the Uk wednesday, but he died tuesday morning, one day before his return to the Uk.. i spoke to him Monday night, he said "see you wednesday mom" "I love you mom" That was it he died the next day and was buried without my consent over seas... im ill so ill i cant get better.. can't accept they buried my son without my permission... i never knew what caused his death other than i was told he vomited blood clots and died... Today sweety im dying day by day. My son was 20years old, he was my life, the air i breathe.... im so ill the doctors cant find me a cure... my health is getting worse... I will pray for you and your sweet daughter... May God heal her.... and spare you the pain and suffering... you have been through so much already...Lifting you in my prayers...Please all pray for this little girl... Mom 2 wasim xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members karolynca Posted September 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Sending some prayers for you and your little girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members schnei08 Posted November 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I will pray for you and your little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Kelly Posted August 8, 2010 Administrators Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 Dear Members,We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden, but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com. Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members acandme Posted October 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 UPDATE: My daughter passed away on August 8th, 2012, nearly four years to the day of the first time i posted here. the years in between were a roller coaster that i'm still sorting through. I'm still stuff on the pain of her final moments. It was a bittersweet moment and God was with me. I couldn't have asked for a more 'beautiful' way for my daghter to leave this earth with me holding as she passed, and that's something i can trasure forever. That and the utter peace on her face and that surrounded her as she lay in my arms eased my broken heart. She was so beautiful. Her skin was radiant. I lay next to her body for hours after she passed, unable to let her go and her skin continued to shine and glow in an amazing angelic way. I was there when she came into my life and I was there to sent her back and it was incredible. Life asked me to surrender my love, my heart and soul on the altar for this child knowing in the end i would lose it all. and when she died it turned me inside out. but there is no more perfect sacrifice than that of completely losing it all to uncondiontally loving a child and giving it all away for whatever her life is to be. it was the most perfect surrender, most beautiful sacrifice, and she was the only worthy, perfect human i will ever encounter that deserved all of me this way. For that i am eternally gratefully to God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted October 26, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 UPDATE: My daughter passed away on August 8th, 2012, nearly four years to the day of the first time i posted here. the years in between were a roller coaster that i'm still sorting through. I'm still stuff on the pain of her final moments. It was a bittersweet moment and God was with me. I couldn't have asked for a more 'beautiful' way for my daghter to leave this earth with me holding as she passed, and that's something i can trasure forever. That and the utter peace on her face and that surrounded her as she lay in my arms eased my broken heart. She was so beautiful. Her skin was radiant. I lay next to her body for hours after she passed, unable to let her go and her skin continued to shine and glow in an amazing angelic way. I was there when she came into my life and I was there to sent her back and it was incredible. Life asked me to surrender my love, my heart and soul on the altar for this child knowing in the end i would lose it all. and when she died it turned me inside out. but there is no more perfect sacrifice than that of completely losing it all to uncondiontally loving a child and giving it all away for whatever her life is to be. it was the most perfect surrender, most beautiful sacrifice, and she was the only worthy, perfect human i will ever encounter that deserved all of me this way. For that i am eternally gratefully to GodAcandme,I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious daughter. Her passing sounds like a beautiful and truly spiritual experience. I just don't know what else to say, but you have expressed an experience that most people are unable to put words to. You also sound like you have a connected relationship with God that will remain strong and positive. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisa Cortez Posted February 20, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 I lost my 3 month old daughter to SIDS, 6 years ago. I was not home with her at the time and wish nothing more that I had been. Our childeren are blessing but the world we live in today is not. Just remeber she is safe and truly at peace, that is more than I can say for many. Sadly her short moment of la ife, I know she was innocent and perfect in every way, only the truly blessed ones leave thist world 100% innocent. I know hoe had it s without her, but know she is blessed in every way. I hope you feel up to talking with me, I dont talk about her much but it get a little less painful every year.. Acandme,I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious daughter. Her passing sounds like a beautiful and truly spiritual experience. I just don't know what else to say, but you have expressed an experience that most people are unable to put words to. You also sound like you have a connected relationship with God that will remain strong and positive. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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