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Rings - Just Curious


Alone

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I'm just curious about what people are doing with their wedding and/or engagement rings?

 

I still wear my engagement/wedding ring combination and I wear my husband's wedding ring on a chain around my neck.  I get comments on the my ring combination as it really is an unusual look.  I get comments on my husband's ring as I think many people recognize it as a sign that I'm a widow.

 

What are other people doing?

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I still wear my engagement ring, makes me feel close to my fiance.  I have no intention of ever taking it off at this point.

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traveler1959 - I've been told that there is no "proper time".  Some people take them off immediately, never wearing them again and others never take the rings off.  What I've been told is that you should do what is comfortable for you.  A woman in my grief group said that suddenly one day she didn't feel married anymore and took her ring off.  For her that was at about the one year anniversary of her angel date.

 

My curiosity stems from a discussion with a grief counselor who said "you don't want to be known by your grief".  I'm not exactly sure what she meant, but I know the ring on the chain around my neck is a clear sign to many that I'm a widow.  Does that distinction identify me as "grieving"... kind of like wearing black in the old days?  Or could that sign of widowhood place me in jeopardy from people who prey on those who are alone?

 

Also, for those who are open to the possibility of a new relationship I would think wearing your ring could inhibit meeting new people.  I'm not ready for a new relationship, and have a hard time imagining that, so this is not an issue for me right now.

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I wear my rings some days and some days I don't. Some days I feel just starved for human contact and conversation and, depending on where I am going, I might take my rings off. I am 58. Not ancient, I know, but I am still curious as to whether men will approach me and find me attractive. On days when I would like some attention, I leave them off.

On the other hand, if I am in a situation where I don't want men to approach me or hit on me AND I don't want to answer questions about my "status", I leave them on.

I think that eventually, I might get a jeweler to make something for me that I can wear around my neck that incorporates my rings and my husbands ring. Certainly any men I meet in the future will have to know and understand that Tom will forever be in my heart.

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For me, I got to a point in my grief process that I couldn't stand to have my rings on any longer.   I never wear any rings at all.  I put them away in my safe deposit box -- it would please me immensely if my son could use the stones in my rings to reset for his fiancé when the time comes.

 

In my case, I feel that anyone that really knows me and really cares about me knows my feelings, they know I'm a widow, they know that I continue experience profound sadness in the loss of my husband.  For those that don't know me, I don't really care if they know I was married, I am a widow or what my personal situation is.  I don't need the rings to remind me or anyone else.

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I was just wondering. I have thought that I would wear  my ring until the day after what would have been our 30th anniversary, which is March the 17th. I guess I will have to wait til then to see if I can.

 

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For me, just thinking about taking them off make me panic.  Right now I can't imagine ever taking them off because if it were up to me, we would still be married.  I now wear a widow's ring along with my engagement/wedding rings.  I am sure that most people don't know what it is or even notice it, but it makes me feel better.  I would wear my husband's ring around my neck but I am so afraid of losing it.  I do have a heart shaped necklace with my husband's thumbprint on it.  When I am feeling stressed I find myself holding it, almost as if I were holding Terry's hand. 

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I have a teardrop with some of my Tom's ashes in it that I wear on a chain around my neck.  I find myself holding that teardrop and his ring often.

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Alone, we talked about my ring! It's hard for me to wear it cause Jared never got to give it to me! If his mom hadn't found it I wouldn't know it existed! I don't wear it anymore cause it makes me sad & I hate answering questions about it! Jared never bought me any other jewelry! He preferred buying me flowers lol! I just wish he would've gotten to propose!

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I wear my rings all the time.  Before my Jim passed away, I would often take them off while doing chores around the house and while we were sleeping.  Now I just wear them always.  Maybe someday if it feels rights I'll stop wearing them and have a jeweler take my rings and my husband's ring to make something else I can wear as a necklace and/or earrings.

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I'm never taking my rings off. I rarely took them off when Andy was alive and I'm not going to now. I don't care that he's gone. He's still my husband and I love him. I also wear a pendant that contains some of his ashes so we'll never be apart.

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odetoanoddity

I wear a ring when I go out. My boyfriend didn't give me this ring, but I feel such a connection with him when I wear it. When he was still alive, I'd wear it to symbolise I was devoted to him. I'd also get questions from many people asking whether I was married. The last time it happened was just last week, I replied with a smile and said "no, i'm committed". She asked me how long I'd been with my boyfriend and I said two+ years. I didn't tell her he was dead, because to me, he's still around in some way. I still feel bound to him, even if it's been 2+months now...

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I still wear mine, and his on the finger next to it. I may take them off sometimes, but it's usually because I don't want to damage them, and I put them on, or leave them off, when ever i feel like it. They're just rings now.

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I just took my rings off but replaced them with another ring that my husband had given me years ago for Christmas.  I kind of alternate rings that he had given me.

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